' Cancer, Cancer,' Nick tested the word in his mind over and over again. The doctor had said that he suspected that he had that awful disease. That canīt be right, Nick decided. People that were old got it, children got it but not young people. And certainly not people that were in the top of their lives. It had to be some mistake. Ok, he had been feeling lousy for awhile and that could very well be that he had mono or something, but definatly NOT cancer. No way!
With that he buckled up in his car and drove away from the medical practice. He knew that they were expecting him at the hospital, yet he decided that the tests had to wait. He didnīt have the strength to deal with something like this, not when he was in the middle of starting to work on his solo album as well as going with Kevin to the AMA awards.
It couldnīt hurt if he waited another week, could it?
After all he had been sick so long that he didnīt even remember any longer how it felt like to be feeling fine. First it had been the tour that had really stressed him out, and before that it had been AJīs drug abuse. Thinking back the last year he hadnīt been hundred percent well ever since that South American Tour. But then he had caught some nasty stomach virus that had left him incapacitated for nearly two weeks. Ok he had done the concerts, but that was about it. Tiffany, his previous girlfriend had told him to seek medical help for that virus, but he had laughed it off. Now the suspecions arised. What if it wasnīt an virus? What if THAT was cancer?
Nick shivered in the hot Florida sun. Both from sickness as well as feeling scared. He was very split when it came to this issue. Maybe the doctor was wrong in his assumptions, shit that can happen, he consolled himself. But then what if the doctor was right? He knew deep inside that he should do those tests but to tell the truth they scared the shit out of him.
As he was about to turn on the highway going to his house in Tampa, the sign hospital flashed infront of his eyes and without thinking he turned towards St. Mary's hospital. It was like his mind wanted to go somewhere else but his body was telling him otherwise. Before he knew it he had parked in front of the big hospital. He hesitated for a moment before turning off the engine, closing his eyes he leaned his head back on the head rest. What if there would be someone that would recognize him? Rumors would likely start and soon the whole world would know that he, Nick Carter, was being tested for cancer.
What would the guys say?
Grinning to himself he thought that Bone would probably come up with something clever like "Shit Kaos, what if the cat scan shows what we have all been suspecting for so long that youīre lacking a brain!" He was ready to slap himself in the face, what was he sitting and doing?`Thinking the worst! That was no good for him, besides, he decided, I do not have cancer, I probably have something as simple as mono.
Just when he had mustered up courage to step out of the car, his cell phone gave away a loud signal. With an sigh, mixed with relief and irritation he answered the phone.
"Nick here," he said as cheerful as he could, not wanting to betray the nervousness that was fluttering inside his stomach . There was silence in the other line, just someone breathing hard and instantly his temper rose. 'Probably some damned fan,' he decided and was about to hang up when he heard someone sobbing on the other line.
" Nick, Nick are you there?"
"Aaron?" , He recognized that voice even if he was thousands miles away. His little brother was the most dearest to him. "Aaron what is it?" he asked softly.
"I..I..I..just canīt..I..canīt," the teen on the other line sobbed.
Nicks heart beated faster and momentarily he forgot all of his owns aches and worries. "Has something happened?"
"No...No..,Itīs just..tha..that.. they want me to do a tour and a video and tv shows and I am so tired."
Nick's heart ached when he heard his little brother's cracked voice. He had been in that position way too many times and he knew very well what Aaron felt. He also had a feeling that the teen was pushed way too hard.
"Have you talked to mom?" Nick doubted that it would improve anything.
"Ye..yes, but.. sh..she wonīt listen."
Nick sighed heavily. That he could have figured out with his small toe. "Ok listen, I have something that I have to do right now, Iīll call you later. Ok?" He tried to sound very causal about the whole topic.
Aaron wasnīt about to hang up. "Nick?" he asked in a tone that had his older brother all concerned.
"Yeah?"
"Canīt you come home now when you go to LA? Like stay here?" the teen begged.
Now Nick felt bad. The tone of his brother's voice betrayed him and he knew how much Aaron needed him right now. Yet there were not a chance that he could stay at his parents house since their relation was very frosty, especially after his arrest and the past months of fights. His family wouldnīt understand and he felt that there was enough trouble as it was.
" No kiddo, they have already reserved hotel rooms and I canīt change that," he lied, hearing the disappointment in Aarons voice, " Ok..okey. But I'll tell you, if I get some downtime I can call you and we could shoot some hoops, what do you say?" Doing sports canīt be bad, right?, Nick thought as his minds drifted off towards Dr. Santos words.
" Sure," There were an silence and then, " Sorry to bother you."
Nick felt bad. " No, no youīre not bothering me. Itīs just that I have to be at an appointment now and.."
His little brother interrupted him. " Appointment? Youīre not sick or something?" He sounded suspicious.
What? Did that little brat have a sixth sense?
"No!" Nick answered, a little too fast.
"Youīre not lying or anything?" Aaron was pressing him and at that moment Nick knew it would be hard to cover anything up from his little brother. But what did he have to cover up? After all he hadnīt done any of those stupid test and therefore there was probably nothing anyway.
"No why should I do that?" the young man said as lightly as he could. "Hey stop thinking of me man, itīs you that feel like shit!, ya know"
Aaron sighed, "Yeah, but Nick?"
"Aha?" What did he want now, Nick thought silently.
"If there were something..something that was bothering you, you would tell me, right?"
Nick's gut ached, he wanted to scream out loud. Yet he quieted himself. "Yeah Aaron, yeah I would do that."
"Good," the younger boy sounded satisfield with the answer. "Then I wonīt bug you anymore."
" You never bug me. Donīt you ever think that."
"Ok, call me later on then."
"Yup, bye Squirt." Nick really wanted to be there to hug his little brother. Yet there were distance between them, distance in more way than one.
"Bye oldie," They laughed before Nick hung up. As soon as Aaron was gone Nick's smile faded. With an deep sigh he was back to life again. Looking at the hospital entrance he mumbled to himself, "This is no good Nick."
He needed to find out those results and there was nothing that could prevent him from bailing out. Not now, when he was so close. He opened the car door and took with a certain hesitation one step towards the hospital entrence. Pulling down his cap as far as he could he tried to make an disguise. The last thing that he needed was some fans or even worse the press spotting him.
He hadnīt walked many steps until there were a loud scream behind him. Turning around he saw five teenages girl running towards him. "Itīs Niiiicck Caaaarter!!"
'Shit!' Nick thought as quickly as possible and then changed his directions. Running back towards his car he opened the car door and then went inside. The girls had set their pace and they were screaming his name all the time! 'Damned fans', they were everywhere and wouldnīt leave him alone only for a second. It had been even worse after the arrest.
"Can I have an autograph, pleeeeaaaaseeee," the girl was clinging on his car, knocking on the window, trying to get his attention. Without answering them he started the engine, hoping to scare them away. But to no avail. Pushing the button to the electric window opener, so the winow opened just a crack he yelled to them, "I have to get going! Sorry."
A disappointed groan was heard from the girls as he let his foot down on the clutch, leaving tire marks as he squealed out of the parking lot. In his rearview mirror he could see the girls faces and he felt bad. Really bad. Today however he needed his privacy and a bunch of screaming girls was the last thing that he needed to deal with. As he saw the hospital building becoming smaller and smaller Nick made up his mind. The tests would have to wait until after the AMA awards. There was probably nothing wrong with him anyway....
