For the fifth time in just as many minutes Brian glanced at his watch, while pacing the waiting room like an animal in a cage. He waited for Nick to come out of surgery. It was suppose to be a short procedure but now he had been in there for half an hour longer than expected and Brian was seriously worried that something had gone wrong.
Thinking back at his own heart surgery, almost four years earlier, he knew that anything could happen. He had gone in expecting them to operate on one hole and ended up having a two hour long surgery when they unexpectedly discovered another hole. He hoped that Nick wasn´t in for any complications.
His “little brother” had a habit of always doing everything the hard way, even when it came to his health. When they had been touring during flu season Nick was the one that caught the germs hardest and the longest, often with complications. Brian would be very surprised if Nick made it without any difficulties. That would not be the Frack that he knew.
With a sigh he went over to the coffee machine and poured himself another black cup of coffee. He´d already devoured several cups and if he kept this up he would be looking at an ulcer in the near future. Picking up the paper mug he sat down on the hard sofas again, waiting. His only comfort was that he was all alone in the waiting room and this meant that he could ponder his own thoughts in silence.
A female voice interrupted him, “Mr. Littrell,” she said and instantly got Brian's attention. Turning his attention to the middle aged red head he tried to judge by her facial expression if she was about to reveal any bad news. When he found no such thing he relaxed momentarily. Maybe he was just being jumpy over the whole situation and there was nothing to be concerned about.
Hospitals always gave him the creeps. Reminded him too much of the fragility of life.
“Yes?”
“Mr. Carter has come out from surgery now,” she said with a warm smile, “you can visit him, but he hasn´t come out of the anesthesia yet.”
“Ok, great. Thanks.” Brian threw his cup down into the paperbin, and stood up to follow the nurse down the corridor. “Why did it take so long? Did something happen?” he asked, trying to make small conversation.
“It went very well,” she replied, “everything went according plans.” There were no further explanations given and Brian knew that the hospital was very careful to give away information in an attempt to protective of their patient's privacy. He was more than surprised that the hospital had managed to keep a low profile since he knew that if things came out to the press there would be a total riot. Fans all over the place as well as media.
Yet there had been no one revealing anything and they were treated like every other person, which Brian was grateful for. If the nurse knew who they were, she showed no sign of it and Brian could relax more and more. Dealing with nurses asking for autographs was more than he could handle right now.
She opened a door and the moment Brian stepped into Nick's hospital room he froze. There in the hospital bed, Nick laid looking pale and fragile. He was sleeping soundly and a white bandage on his collarbone and an IV line was all that indicated that there was anything seriously wrong with him. He looked pretty comfortable. At least for the time being.
Brian hesitated a moment before pulling out the plastic chair, sitting down next to the bed. The figure in bed stirred as the nurse adjusted his IV line. Coughing slightly Brian didn´t know what to do or say. This was much too surreal and he had never seen Nick in this position before. As far as he knew Nick had never been admitted in a hospital so this was a brand new situation for them.
“Is he going to wake up soon?” he asked quietly.
“Yes, I think he is coming around. Do you have any knowledge of Mr. Carter's medical history?”
Brian shook his head, “No. I don't think he has been in surgery before.”
“Do you know how he responds to anesthetic?”
Another negative headshake, “No. I´m sorry.” Brian knew that he had to find those things out if he was going to be Nick's patient advocate.
“That's ok. Once Mr. Carter wakes up we will do some further tests.”
“Tests?” Brian asked a bit worried.
“No need for alarm,” the nurse smiled as she continued, “it's standard procedure that we do before starting the first chemo session.”
“He will begin with this today? The chemo?” Somehow Brian doubted that Nick would be fit to do something like that. And he definately believed that Nick would have to stay over night at the hospital.
“If he is feeling well enough to do so, yes.”
There was small whimpering coming from the bed and instantly the nurse was there, stroking Nick's cheek, “Shhh,” she whispered, “relax.” She felt with a gentle move on Nick's forehead and Brian could detect a slight frown.
“What?” he asked instantly, but she reassured him that everything was fine. Yet he could see that she scribbled down some writing on her pad. He couldn´t shake the gut feeling that they were checking his friend up a bit extra carefully.
Nick stirred again, looking like he was in pain. He moaned softly when the nurse checked his vitals and Brian took his hand in his own. Stroking it gently, calming his buddy down.
“Shhh, Nick,” he murmured soothingly. “ I´m here..relax,” He was talking with a low, soft voice and he couldn´t help to feel a bit worried as Nick continued to toss and turn. “What is the matter with him?” he asked when Nick moaned again.
“He is waking up and might be a bit nauseous from the anesthetic,” she explained, “That is very common.”
“Ok,” Stroking Nick's hand he started to think what was the meaning with this? With Nick laying here sick. A man in his best years. A man who was suppose to have his whole life ahead of him. He hoped deep down in his heart that this would be the last time he saw Nick looking this miserable. But something told him that this was just the beginning.
Chemotherapy was no picnic.
“Mo..mom,” Nick murmured with his eyes still closed. Brian as well as the nurse were instantly there comforting him.
“Nick, it´s me..Brian,” he said when he saw his friend starting to come trough. Nick's eyes fluttered and he was fighting to wake up.
“Br..Brian?” Nick mumbled with dry parched lips. Running his tounge over his lips he tried to moisten them and the nurse caught this. With a swift move she picked up a wet wash cloth and wiped his face with it, gently.
“Yes Frack, it´s me.” Brian smiled paley, as he stroke Nick's hand in comforting moves.
“Why aren't you at the concert?” The question sounded a bit confusing and this had Brian looking at the nurse. She shook her head slightly, “It's the anesthetic. He might be a bit disoriented.”
“Aha,” Turning to Nick he explained, “I am here with you Nick. You are at a hospital and just had surgery. Remember?”
Nick shook his head a few times, like he was clearing off some cobwebs “Oh..so then it wasn´t just a nightmare.”
There was a pain of sadness in Brian's heart when he heard the disappointment in his friend's voice. ”No Nick. It isn´t a dream.”
“Okay.” The blonde went silent for a while, as he felt the button on the port sticking out from under his collarbone. “Ouch!”
The nurse who was checking his blood pressure looked up, asking, “Are you in pain?”
There were an affirmitive nod. “Yeah..it hu..hurts.”
“Your collarbone?” The nurse continued with asking questions and Nick answered them as well as he could. The answers were very short and Brian suspected that he still wasn´t lucid enough to grip the situation. Watching his friend in pain hurt and Brian wanted it all to be better.
“I will give you something for your pain, to help you rest and relax,” the nurse said as she wrote down something on her pad. “I´ll be right back.” She opened the door and when she was about to close it she turned to Brian, “Will you be here for him?”
He nodded quietly and as soon as the nurse was out of the room a moan broke the silence. Turning his attention to his ill friend he asked, “What is it?”
“I feel sick,” the blonde mumbled, swallowing hard. His eyes were still closed, but Brian could tell by his pale pallor that he wasn´t feeling too hot.
“You want me to get a nurse?” Brian asked, as he stroked away a sweaty strand from Nick's face.
“No.” Nick gripped his hand firmly, stopping him from going anywhere. “Just stay with me..allright?”
He sounded so pitful and Brian thought back at the old times. Nick always needed someone by his side, especially when there were rough times and he wasn´t feeling one hundred percent. There had been endless days and nights when Brian had spent time at his little brothers side when he was sick or just homesick. Nick didn´t like to be alone. Especially not when he was hurting in some way.
“Sure.”
There was another moan as Nick tried to sit up in bed. He looked like he was going to faint and his pallor had taken on a deathly white shade.
“What is it?” Brian was instantly by his side and he didn´t have to wait long before Nick mumbled, “I think I´m gonna..” The words were drowned off by a gagging sound and Brian reached for the curved bowl. Just in time.
Retching sounds filled the room and Brian had to momentarily look aside, steeling himself. Puke was not his thing. Yet he stayed faithfully by his friends side, stroking his back in long smooth moves.
“That´s it..let it all out,” he whispered as he tried to soothe as best as he could. When the dry heaves abated and he was done for now Brian helped Nick to lay down again. He had been so violently sick that tears run down his cheeks and with the wash cloth Brian dried them off. He set the bowl aside, swallowing hard. Not wanting anyone to see how much this whole situation affected him in reality.
“M’ sorry,” Nick mumbled a bit embarrassed over the whole situation. “I´m sorry.” He was trying to sit up again.
Brian pushed him gently down. “Shhh s’okey. Don´t worry about that,” he whispered soothingly as he continued to stroke Nick's forehead in long gentle moves.
“Brian?”
“Yes?”
“Thanks.” Nick said with a pale smile before closing his eyes again, “thanks for being here with me.”
“It´s all my pleasure,” Brian laughed, but he could feel Nick starting to relax and soon the blonde was fitfully asleep.
With a desperate need to stretch his legs as well as looking up a special accomondations, Brian stood up. The red haired nurse came in and she scrunched her nose involuntarily at the not-so-pleasant smell that was lingering in the room.
“Nick got sick,” Brian explained motioning towards the bowl, “but now he fell asleep again.”
“I will take care of that.” The nurse walked over to her patient and after checking that everything was fine she fiddled with his IV, “I´m going to give him an injection for his pain and if he continues to feel nauseous he will be given a dose of Phenergan. Dr. Andersen will check on him before he is getting ready for his first chemo session. By the looks of it I think he will have to wait until tomorrow.”
“Ok,” Brian hid a yawn behind his hand. The action didn´t go unnoticed and the nurse made an small comment.
“You look like you need a few hours of rest, Mr. Littrell. Why don´t you go back home for a while. Once Mr. Carter gets his medication he will be asleep and I will be here by his side all the time. That way you are up and ready when he wakes up.”
“I´ll be fine,” Brian objected stubbornly, even if he was so tired that he had a hard time standing up. There had been very little sleep the previous nights and when he finally managed to get some sleep it was interrupted by nightmares and he woke up constantly. “I´ll wait here. I promised Nick that.” There was not a chance that he would leave his friends side. Now matter how tired he was.
“Really Mr. Littrell, a few hours rest would do you good. I can call you when Mr. Carter wakes up.”
Brian thought for a moment. The nurse was right. A cat nap sounded actually tempting, besides he had to go back to Nick's house to pick up some overnight stuff. By the look of it Nick wouldn´t be coming home this evening. Which was just as fine with him. Nick needed the rest and he would be better off in a hospital than at his own place. He also needed to call Leighanne to hear if she had done any travel arrangements and on top of everything his stomach was screaming from hunger.
“Okay,” Brian finally agreed. The positive things were overlapping and after checking on his friend one more time he said, “Call me as soon as there are any changes.” The nurse agreed to do so and before he left the room he gave Nick a short glance.
“I´ll be back buddy,” Brian whispered, shutting the door behind him.
