The grin vanished from Nick's face as he eyed the visitor standing on the front steps.
"What are you doing here?"
The two men stood, eyes locked, neither one daring to move. Nick quickly recovered, straightened his stance, running a hand lightly through his hair. "Um, n-no, s-sorry, come in," he stammered nervously.
Bob Carter brushed past his son and offered open arms. "Can I have a hug?"
As Nick accepted the gesture, he winced when the squeeze that the older man place on him put pressure on his tender stomach. The embrace and the smell of his father evoked comforting feelings to him, and for the first time in a long time, Nick felt as if all of his concerns and troubles had vanished.
Pulling himself away from his son, Bob examined Nick's face. "You look like you haven't slept in days."
A sarcastic chuckle escaped Nick's lips. "Nah, I've been sleeping too much lately."
"Lets sit and talk," Bob suggested as he released his light hold from his son's arms.
As they walked toward the living room, Nick glanced warily at the clock, wondering how long the guys would be out. Drawing a breath in, he took the seat across from his father.
Looking at Nick for a few moments, Bob Carter was unsure of where to begin or what to say to his son. He thought that Nick looked ill, but he couldn't place his finger on just what from or why he looked sick. Inwardly he was hoping that it was just because he hadn't seen his boy since he left the family during their winter vacation in Aspen, but deep in his heart he felt that something was wrong. Horribly wrong.
"Can I get you something to drink?"
The sound of Nick's voice snapped the older man out of his thoughts. "Huh?"
"I said do you want something to drink? Iced tea, water, coffee or lemonade?"
"Glass of lemonade sounds good to me, thanks."
"Alright, I'll be back in a sec," Nick replied as he stood up and strode from the room.
Watching his son leave, Bob noticed that Nick looked quite a bit thinner than when he last saw him. Thinner in every place but his stomach which he thought seemed odd. Nick's complextion looked dull and blotchy; his blue eyes definitely were lacking the sparkle they normally held and the dark circles under them only drew more attention to his tired appearance.
'Maybe the rumors are true,'he thought to himself. All the signs were out there, but the older man even denied them as he watched Nick's slower stride and sometimes faltering steps as he re entered the living room.
Accepting the glass, he took a quick drink before setting it down. Bob gazed at his son as he searched to end the awkward silence. "So, I heard that Brian's wife is staying here."
"Yup," Nick grunted.
"Brian too?"
"Yup."
Shaking his head, Bob smiled. "You're really not into a conversation this morning, are you?"
"I'm sorry dad, it's just that you showing up here like this has me blown away. I thought you were busy with the girls while mom is with Aaron."
"I was," he agreed, "until I received a phone call from your mother yesterday."
"Oh?" he shifted in his seat, suddenly feeling nervous and uncomfortable.
"She was upset when she called."
Knowing where this conversation could be leading, Nick decided to play dumb. "Upset? Is AC alright?"
"Aaron is fine, just fine. He's been pretty busy."
"That's good. I miss him though, I'll have to plan on doing something with him when he gets back home."
Bob sighed. "Nickolas cut the crap, you know what your mother was upset about! I thought you were raised better!"
Nick narrowed his eyes at his father. "What are you talking about?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about!"
"No I don't!" he replied incredulously. "I really want to do something with Aaron when he gets back. I'm not lying."
Bob Carter's face twisted in anger, turning a deep shade of crimson, twisted in anger. "You're trying to side step this!"
"Side step what?"
"You know what I'm talking about!"
"No, I don't! Why don't you tell me so we both know what you're talking about!" Nick rasped.
Bob threw his hands up in exasperation, sighing loudly. "Your mother called me right after she got hung up on, by you---"
"It was a bad connection," Nick interrupted.
"Bullshit!"
Nick flinched when he heard his father swearing. It was something he didn't hear much coming from Bob Carter's mouth, but when he swore, it generally meant that something or someone was going be on the receiving end of the man's wrath.
"Don't interrupt me! You hung up on your mother after you said some pretty filthy words--"
"They weren't directed at mom," Nick defended.
"I said don't interrupt me!"
Nick sunk back further into the leather chair, listening to his father scold him as if he were nine years old again.
"Your mom was upset and in tears and she didn't understand why you said what you said to her. She tries so hard to put you kid's best interests before her own."
Upon hearing the statement his father made, Nick rolled his eyes.
"We've worked hard to get you kids where you are today and you among all of them should be the most gracious and thankful that you have a mother like her!"
Nick shook his head. "Oh yeah, Jane is quite a woman," he snapped back.
Bob jumped out of his seat and slapped Nick across the face with an open hand. "Don't you ever talk about your mother like!"
Nick's hand shot up instintively, covering where the blow had landed. Tasting blood in his mouth, he gave his father a hardened glare, tears welling in his eyes. Bob was continuing on with his lecture, but it was now falling on deaf ears.
The more Nick thought about his situation, the more upset and angry he became.
"She deserved the words and the hang up!" Nick stated tersely, through gritted teeth.
The older man stared down at his son, narrowing his eyes. "What did you just say?"
Gripping the arms on the chair, Nick pushed himself up into a standing position, meeting the old man's face, eye to eye. "I said she deserved those words," he repeated firmly. "She called a fucking reporter and put him on the goddamn phone--"
"Nickolas!" Bob growled.
"I'm twenty-two fucking years!" Nick defended.
"You're never too damn old to respect your parents!" Bob countered.
"I'm twenty-two years old and I'm dying," Nick stated in a voice barely audible as he sank back down into his chair, suddenly feeling dizzy.
"Nick I.." His father stopped his words as he looked at his son," What? What did you say?"
Suddenly losing his nerve about being open about the cancer, Nick tried to brush off the words he had uttered. "Nothing."
"No, I heard you, you said something about dying," Bob pressed, concern etched on his face. "Are you sick?"
Nick buried his face into his hands, trying to cover the tears that were slipping down his cheeks. His father gently reached over and pulled the hands away. "Son?"
Looking at Nick's tear stained face, the tears started to well up in his own eyes. The fears about his son being seriously sick were surfacing once again, and as much as Bob Carter wanted to toss them aside, it was now staring him back in the face, taunting him.
Kneeling down in front of his son, Bob placed a hand on each of the boy's knees, looking up. "Please talk to me Nick, don't shut me out."
Wiping the tears away from his face, Nick's eyes met his fathers. He quickly looked away from his gaze when he felt the tears creeping back into his eyes, a lump formed in his throat. He sadly shook his head, unable to talk.
"Please Nicky, talk to me," Bob pleaded softly.
Upon hearing his father quitely call him by his nickname, Nick could no longer keep his emotions in check and he crumbled into his father's chest, sobbing.
"I'm so scared," he sobbed.
Not saying anything, Bob wrapped his arms around Nick, holding him tight. When he ran his hand onto the back of Nick's head as he tried to soothe and calm him down, he gasped when a tuft of blonde hair came out into his palm.
Nick pulled away from his father's embrace after a few moments and saw the hair still in his hands. Their eyes locked and for a few moments, the only noise in the room was the ticking of the clock on the wall.
Licking his lips, Nick summoned up the courage to finally confess to his father the news he had faught so hard to keep to himself. The guys knowing was bad enough, but now he would have to tell his father and by doing this, Nick had always decided that this would only solidify the inevitable.
He had cancer and he could die from it.
"I'm sick and I don't know if or when I'll get better, but what I'm going to tell you, I want you to do me a favor."
"Anything," Bob softly replied.
"Please don't tell mom or AC or the girls," Nick pleaded.
Bob balked at the idea. "Nick, I can't do that, I have to tell your mother, she has a right to---"
"Just not now, okay, give me some more time?" Bob opened his mouth to speak and Nick once again interrupted his father. "I'll do it when the time is right, just not now, okay?"
Bob Carter nodded, indicating his agreement with Nick not to say anything to the rest of the family. He disliked keeping secrets from his wife, but he had to keep his promise and support his older son. Sitting quietly by Nick's side, Bob listened to the agonizing words his son spoke, seeking desperately to keep his emotions in check.
Nick had cancer. All the dreams and aspirations a parent could ever have was being washed down a virtual drain.
