Singing birds and a curtain-filtered sunray filled our room on Tuesday morning. I let my eyes flicker open. Shawn and I were still wrapped up tightly together. Visions of my dream/memory filled my mind and sighed, letting my eyes close and trying to stop thinking of Taylor. But wait, I thought, it's sunny. The birds are singing. I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. It was nine AM.
"Shit!" I exclaimed as I sat up in bed. Shawn's eyes flew open and he looked at me confusedly.
"What's going on?"
"It's nine'o'clock! I was supposed to be at work an hour and a half ago!"
I felt Shawn's big warm hand on my back. "I called Dawn a while ago and said you would be in a little late."
I sighed and relaxed back next to Shawn. "What would I do without you?"
"You actually would probably be at work…" he trailed off, laughing.
"True," I said, kissing his lips. "But you're worth it."
"Well I would hope so, since we are getting married in a month."
I laughed and snuggled closer to him. "Can we just lay here for awhile?"
"Of course."
"Hey Dawn," I grinned as I walked into my office, swinging my hips like there was no tomorrow.
"Hey girl," she laughed, following me into my office. "So, why exactly were you late?"
"Let's just say Shawn was feeling frisky."
"Oh and like you weren't. I bet you were the instigator!"
I gasped. "Me? Come on, you know me. I do not get kinky unless someone else is before me."
"Sure," Dawn chuckled with a knowing smile.
I rolled my eyes and pulled the first chart off my desk. Dawn always had them stacked on my desk ready to go. I flipped it open and felt my mouth drop open. "You have got to be kidding me."
"Sorry. His parents said they wanted you to have him every day."
I let the folder drop back onto the desk. I cocked my head and frowned. "I thought parents don't have control over you when you turn 18."
"Power of attorney… or something to that effect. Anyway, your appointment is in five minutes so if I were you I would get my butt over there."
"But you aren't me, are you?" I smirked.
"Thank God."
I rolled my eyes and groaned. "Why me? Why did they give him to me? Of all people? Why me?"
"What is with you and him anyway?"
"I went out with him when I was 17."
Dawn gasped and looked at me incredulously. "You went out with Taylor Hanson? For how long?"
"A month. It's this huge soap opera. I fell extremely hard for him only to find out that he had cheated on me with this girl named Miranda who was actually this psychopath who had shot my sister and attacked me, escaped jail, disguised herself as some girl named Cassandra, and lured Taylor into her web."
Dawn blinked at me with wide eyes, absorbing what I had just revealed. "Wow. The dark secrets of Taylor Hanson."
"And to make it worse, when I confronted him it was backstage at a concert and he had his microphone on. So the whole audience heard. When the press asked him about it he told them that I was a girl their marketing firm had sent to make a big ruckus. He had never had a girlfriend and I was just a marketing stint."
"Oh Cory! We all had no idea!"
"It's fine. I'll find some way to deal with it," I sighed painfully.
"Hi," I said shortly as I closed the door behind me.
Taylor blinked up at me. "Hi." He was seated in the couch, this time, not standing by the window.
I plopped down in my chair and flipped open the chart. "How are you doing?"
"Well I'm in rehab, so obviously not that great." I looked up at him without lifting my head.
"Why did you have to move our appointment?" he asked.
"That's none of your business."
"Hung over, eh? Maybe a little too sexed up?" he grinned.
I looked up sharply. "No! I told you it was none of your business. We are not here to talk about me. We're here to talk about you."
"No, you're here to interrogate me. I'm here to stare blankly, then suddenly burst out crying, screaming 'Oh god, oh god, my life sucks!' while you sit back and analyze analyze analyze. So let's just get this over with."
"Certainly don't like to beat around the bush now, do we?"
"Not really."
"Okay. Well then I'll be blunt with you. Since you don't want me to be your therapist-"
"I don't want a therapist period," he interrupted.
"-and I don't want you for my patient, I'll tell you why we are here. In this position."
"I thought that was my job?" he frowned, referring to yesterday's session.
"Your mom found out I was here. She requested that you get transferred to me."
"What?!" Taylor said, his eyes bulging. "How the hell did she find out you were here?"
"My mother."
"Great," he muttered.
"Yeah, really. Anyway, we're stuck now. Your mom won't budge and neither will anybody else."
Taylor groaned.
"So let's just try to make the best of it. Anyway, I wanted to ask you about something. Five years ago, when we were 19 during spring break I think it was, and I was back from college, I saw you in your driveway and you looked really depressed. Why?"
"And you remember this?"
"Yeah. It was creepy because you were walking inside your house with your family and I was standing at my bedroom window and all of a sudden you looked up at me as though you knew I was watching."
Taylor raised one eyebrow suspiciously. "How do you remember all that?"
I shrugged. "I had a dream about it last night."
Taylor grinned smugly. "You dreamt about me?"
"Painfully. Very painfully."
He lost his smug face. "Ha ha."
"Anyway, why did you look so sad?"
"I already told you. I've been depressed since we broke up."
"Taylor," I sighed, looking down at the pen I was fiddling with. "That was seven years ago."
"So?"
"That isn't normal. I moved on."
"Yeah but you didn't lose your girlfriend and your whole family. You just lost me."
"I did not lose you. I got rid of you." Taylor looked down, blinking rapidly. "Well, why don't you tell me what happened after I flew home from the tour."
"We played shows, talked to people, all the normal stuff."
"Okay. Um, were you your normal self?"
Taylor glowered at me. "I just was broken up with. No I was not my normal self."
"Taylor, I already told you. You brought it on yourself and-"
"Yes I know I brought it on myself! I know I made a huge mistake and I have to live with the guilt everyday! I wake up every morning wondering what it would be like if I had not cheated. Would we still be together? Married, even? What would have happened?"
"Why haven't you let go, Taylor? You've apologized and you did everything you could. You just made a mistake. So why do you let it drag you down?"
"Because I'm still in love with you."