Fredania was walking along to his first day of day school (btw: he was 3 by now, and Herb and Abe decided he could walk to school by himself, BAD Herb and Abe!) when all of a sudden he fell down one of those sewer holes that usually have big metal circles on them to keep innocent 3 year olds walking to day school from falling in them but for some reason they didn't think of that this time. Fredania was scared because of his constant nightmares, but he thought he would at least stop at the bottom.
But no! This must have been a magical sewer, because he just kept slipping and sliding, and he slid for what felt like hours, because it was, he slid for two hours! And that's a lot of sliding! I mean, dang, how far can you go in two hours of sliding? Actually, it was more straight to the left than straight down, Fredania noticed. Anyway, after two hours of sliding, he finally hit the bottom.
He stood up and brushed himself off and looked around. He saw two signs. The one on the left said "This Way" and the one on the right said "That Way." Fredania was very very confused, and he sat down and began to bawl because there was nothing else down here but those signs! No plants or anything! Just signs, pointless, meaningless signs!! Fredania sat down and sobbed for a while. Then he heard a voice. "Fredania...go this way..." Fredania looked up. "Are...are you the little troll that lives in the sewers?" he asked the voice. "No, you fool, it's Moe, the squirrel you killed?" the voice (Now identified as Moe) said. "MOE! You have come to save me! Why are you talking so slowly?" Fredania asked his deceased squirrel. "Because it's not so exciting here in the dead land. But there is lots of beer. But that's not the issue! Go this way, and you'll find help!"
So Fredania stood up and wiped his tears away from his face and followed the sign on the left that said "This Way." He walked for three minutes and five seconds until he ran (literally) into a brick wall. "Ow!" he said, and was just about to cry when he saw a door about a foot away from the place he hit. He read the inscription on it. It said, "Jim-Bob, the sewer troll who's not really a troll but I fell in the sewer JUST LIKE YOU and decided I liked it so I moved in and here I am please knock." So Fredania rang the bell. "Hey, can't you read?" a voice from inside said. "No," Fredania answered, "I am only three and I fell in the sewer on the way to my first day of school." "Oh," said Jim-Bob. "You can talk pretty well for a three year old." "Thanks." said Fredania. (btw: he STILL couldn't say mama or dada.) "But anyway, I'm afraid I can't let you in until you knock." "Why?" "Because my door is electronically connected to a machine that will not open it until someone knocks or I open it, but it's kinda on the fritz so you'll just have to bang really hard." "Oh, ok," so Fredania knocked really hard on the door and it opened.
"Hellllllllllloooooooo!!!!" said Jim-Bob. "I am JIM-BOB, the sewer troll who's not really a troll but I fell in the sewer JUST LIKE YOU and I decided I liked it so I moved in and here I am!" "Hi," said Fredania. Then he was automatically distracted by a giant inflated palm tree in the corner of Jim-Bob's room."OOOooooohhhhhhhh....pretty...." He floated to it and began to talk to it. "Do you like that?" Jim-Bob asked. "Her name is Jelly. She likes to be talked to, but right now you ought to tell ME a bit about yourself." Fredania tore himself (literally) away from the beautiful palm tree and began to tell Jim-Bob about himself.
"Well, I live with kingie and queenie of Northern Macedonia in a castle in the sky (well, it's not REALLY in the sky, but doesn't that make it seem so much more like...paradise?)..." Fredania continued to tell Jim-Bob about his child hood (which, in a way, had barely begun) until finally Jim-Bob stopped him and told him that he had the solution to all of his problems. "You do? Do I have to travel to great lengths to gather mysterious and mystical herbs and then grind them into a fine powder, which I then sprinkle generously around a special alter to perform a biding ritual?" Fredania asked."No!" said Jim-Bob. "But this should be very easy for you. All you have to do is say "Mama and Dada!"
