3's Company
(A Fake College Essay)
by Ana

The day of my graduation will come and go, but the experiences that have bonded me with a certain group of people will last a lifetime. But these recollections will not be fond ones; we were united in fear and bitterness. I am a wholly different person for having survived my sophomore English teacher. "Survived" is not used lightly; through the course of the year I was almost lit on fire, and impaled by thrown markers. That, however, would only have resulted in physical scars. The real scars existed on an emotional level. A typical day would start with an insult to our intelligence, followed by our teacher ripping up our "poor" attempts at a paper. A good grade for her class would be 10/250. A feeling of elation and self-worth would follow this grade, only to be crushed by her violent tirades. Rather than offering help and encouragement, Ms. _______ crushed our gentle spirits. Going to English the minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost. Kelly, Robin and Ana are going to start a punk band called Mayor McCheese. It'll be even better than Zack Attack, even though it was high quality.

Come + knock on our door... we'll be waiting