Mamie Gbappy Smokes Some Crack
by Massey, John, Robin, Kelly and Clarke
(Color coded to sentence authors)
*WARNING*:Written by 5 crazy & sleep deprived people between 4 and 9 in the morning.
Graciously typed by John when he was very tired. Thanks to him for letting me sleep and steal it from him later.

Let me tell you about the whores in my life. I go for the tall ugly ones with the big asses, my favorite is named Crusty McFatty. She was a good whore, but when Asshole [pronounced A-shol-ee] came along, she was nowhere to be found. So Asshole had to find a new whore, a better whore who would be there when she wanted her. And this whore was Mamie Gbappy, the ugliest wench you've ever met. I don't think you understand the extent of her ugliness. First, imagine the ugliest person you know, then add 300 pounds, warts, nasty hair, and liver spots; even then you won't understand her ugliest. I had heard of her from others, who had been forced to run in terror, but when I saw her, it was a whole other story. I ran into her one night walking down M street where the classy whores normally are.

"Psychotrophic Mushrooms" said Mamie Gbappy to Tori Spelling.

"Hey slut monkey, what are you doing with that confectioners sugar?" Tori Spelling said to a monkey, "good." The monkey then promptly began to ass-rape her with rhubarb jam and hedgehogs named Earl. And then the random gay guy named Lance shoved a pipe up her ass and sent Earl and the monkey down the pipe.

"Get out of my ass!" Tori screamed in a panic. And then the monkey jumped out of her ass and danced a sprightly jig. Mamie Gbappy and the monkey traveled to the drunk Irish woman's cousin's pub and sang the song "Molly Malone" while making love to sugar packets and old people like your grandparents. Now the problem with making love to sugar packets is they tend to burst open and give the feeling of masturbating with a fist full of pumice rocks. And grandparents...well, we don't even want to touch that one...*shudder, convulse, puke*

So while Mamie Gbappy and the monkey fucked away at the pub, Tori decided to walk around, feeling confident that all had left her ass. Tori was on her way to the hookah bar when Earl jumped out of her ass and offered her crack instead.

Lets get back to the armless syphilis covered, blind, festering, children who live under the great volcano that is about to erupt because Lance and Crusty McFatty ate each other and both died. Did I mention that Earl offered Tori strawberry crack? Yum. Suddenly, the syphilis children (Mary-Anne, Joe-Bob, and Bob-Jimmy-Bob-Joe) ran up to Tori and stole the crack from Earl and beat Tori to death with giant neon orange dildos.

So Earl wandered the streets alone thinking of Mamie Gbappy and the monkey who had left him, when suddenly he saw Asshole appear before him and said she was looking for Crusty McFatty.

"Who gives a shit about Crusty McFatty, she's a dirty whore and I'm so much hotter," Earl said.

"Damn, you're sexy, Earl. I want your body," said Asshole. So they had hot passionate sex in the woods with Dr. Ruth Westenheimer who said, "you can be my super hero sidekick....Penis-Pussy." Then every one who ate the strawberry crack spontaneously combusted into a big burst of Cherries Jubilee.

But what we really have to think about is sex with a hedge hog, that's ouchie.

But Asshole still wanted to know what had happened to Crusty McFatty so she could settle things and while Earl rode off with Dr. Ruth to become Penis-Pussy, it would be the perfect opportunity. So Asshole went to Harmony to seek the advice of Tabitha and Timmy. Timmy and Tabitha smacked her and sent her on her way. She went to Ireland and got in the sugar packet orgy. They said Crusty McFatty had been eaten so she ate a piece of monkey's poop. Speaking of monkey poop, that reminds me about what this story was about to begin with...those damn whores. But we are tired of whores, we decided that we now like male prostitutes, cuz they're funnier.

So ANYWAY...Asshole was very disappointed to hear this news because Crusty McFatty had been one high quality whore, but she had to move on, so she decided to go back to find Earl, AKA Penis-Pussy, because he was HOT, and his new title turned her on. So Asshole hitchhiked to the woods, on the way fucked a hot truck driver and stole his cash, and ended up walking in on a very chaotic scene in the cabin. Mamie Gbappy was killing small handicap children and eating them so Asshole helped. The children were nummy...just like chicken...er...or maybe not. And then the handicap children (at this point train of thought violently crashes and dies) started having mad monkey (err...hedgehog) sex with Earl, the monkey (ok, monkey sex), and the old people (ewwwwwwwww! OLD PEOPLE SEX! AHHHH!), who, were still sugary and rough. So they had all magically ended up at the cabin and had a massive orgy, until they were interrupted by Dr. Ruth who exclaimed, "Get Earl out of there! I mean Penis-Pussy!"

So the massive orgy continued without the hot Earl (Penis-Pussy). Then, they all got on the cookie train and made a nice paste out of the children, Dr. Ruth burned down a Taco Bell, Mamie Gbappy molested some goats and then ate them, monkey ate confectioner's sugar, Earl helped Dr. Ruth, Asshole gives BJs to the entire Olympic Men's Swim team, the two old people had sex with sugar packets, and then they all met up at their secret meeting place deep inside they earth where they started the League of Crappy People headed by Dr. Ruth. All of a sudden, the League of Crappy People orgy was crashed by the midget shriner auto racers. These midget shriner auto racers were led by the notoriously evil Dr. Anal Sex, who exclaimed, "BWA HA HA HA HA! Me and my midget shriner auto racers will defile you Dr. Ruth!"

"NEVER!" she screamed, "We shan't stop until you have been destroyed!"

All the other League Members jumped up and crowed around Dr Anal Sex in an effort to protect Dr. Ruth. Mrs. Norman started jumping on a moon bounce throwing rocks and Dr. Anal Sex lost his left eye. Then she went away. Loosing the eye made Dr. Anal Sex extremely happy, because now he could give blow jobs and sing "Little Bunny Foofoo" at the same time. So Dr. Anal Sex changed his name to Dr. I-can-give-bjs-and-sing-at-the-same-time, and started pedaling his wares.

MEANWHILE...

In another universe, the great god I-have-a-really-big-penis is watching the battle and is wondering to himself what he can do to screw with their minds. So he devised a plan to disguise Dr. Anal Sex (AKA Dr. I-can-give-bjs-and-sing-at-the-same-time) and sick him on Dr. Ruth and the League of Crazy People. But no one cared about them til the next sentence so...the old people (the ones like your grandparents) were being sued for improper use of sugar packets and feared that their sugar fucking days were over. The fucking god killed himself, the old people moved to India and became sex slaves, the League split up, all of the midget shriners died but one named Shmoo, and they all became friends, even George Hamilton and Joan Collins who had arrived for their cameos, then left. In the meantime, Shmoo had a revelation, and decided to become the anti-porn star. In India the two old people were enjoying themselves as part of Mustafa Habeeb's harem, having promiscuous sex with multiple partners. Meanwhile, back in the states...Shmoo, the last remaining midget shriner auto racer got into a fight with Earl and the monkey, so after he ran from their storm of hurtled marbles (he had stolen their lighter) he went back to Dr. I-can-give-bjs-and-sing-at-the-same-time, and joined forces with him once again!

Dr. Ruth went on to write a novel of the League's short life and sold out to make a whole fuckin lot of money while scorning her "wicked" past and becoming a fucking purist. Then baked potatoes came from the sky and everyone went into convulsions, Mamie Gbappy smoked lots of crack.

THE END

Did I mention that it was strawberry crack?

fin