June 4, 2000 ~ Ugh. Wow. Well, I'm all crazy. Let's see. Well, prom was pretty cool I guess. Pre-prom was really fun, prom itself and post-prom sucked. But that's alright. We did the metro thing, which didn't work out too well logisticaly, but it was an adventure, and it was really fun. There were many obstacles however, i.e. INSANE rain, lots of walking, the dropping of items between metro seats, the dropping of cameras onto the tracks, etc., etc. Haha. It was cool though. It was also really really hot friday, which sucked. But that's alright as well. So yeah. Dinner was damn fun as well. There was paper on top of the table clothes, so we found some crayons and ended up drawing all over the entire like 15 foot long table. And they got more and more obscene as time went by. But anyway, that was cool. Ahh, and me and Kurt kept singing the mission impossible theme song thing, so we decided that our mission was to save prom from french terrorists. Which we succeeded in doing, by the way. And my special secret agent talents include sleeping, and kicking people with my heels. Good stuff. So yeah. So that was fun. Prom was rather crappy however. Going to prom with someone who hates dancing sucks. And the dj sucked. And I was really really tired, and we had just walked like a frickin mile, but anyway.... It was still fun though. Last year was better tho. So then post-prom everything just got all screwed up. We originally had 3 possible things to do, then ended up having one, which apparently sucked, although we never even got there, cause Clarke thought we were in a different car or something weird. So yeah. I don't know. So then things were rather crazy, and then I went home and slept, finally. I then woke up at 6pm on saturday. That always depresses me. So I got like 2 hours of sunlight, so then Clarke and I went and saw Shanghai Noon cause I was going crazy since I hadn't done anything. That was surprisingly entertaining, although I don't remember any of it. Then I couldn't fall asleep till 4 in the morning, got up at 9 this morning, and now I'm feeling alright for the most part. Sleep-wise that is. In other areas I'm not doin' so well. So yeah. Some stuff with prom also brought up some more stuff, or at least made things clearer to me. But I'm telling you, this is so fucking scary. So I got into one of my weird unable to eat moods today. That really sucked. And I think it can turn out alright, but there's just so much involved, and so much importance to it all. And I'm just damn scared. And I want to know that I'm sure about this, but I'm not, and I don't think I ever will be, and I can't wait on this forever, cause there isn't much time left. And I hate that. I really do. This fucking sucks. I was looking at a bunch of old pictures today, and just suddenly got really depressed. I've been realizing how important certain people are to me lately. That makes things all the more difficult. And the way things have become, what's comfortable and such. Cause it's been a long time. Ugh. So I don't know. See, then I just start to think that I'm just really confused right now, and should wait until I'm not, but I don't think that time will come. At least not with the way things are going now. I'm just scared. And I want things to be alright. I need to talk to people. I need things to be good. But now I've gotta write a story for a pointless assignment from my biology teacher. Oh the joys of still being in school. Makes life so much easier to deal with. Grr.
*****
June 1, 2000 ~ It's JUNE!!! This is scary. Scary scary scary. I'm absolutely exhausted as well. All of last weekend I was waking up between 5 and 7, and going to bed really late. This has of course continued through the week, and now I'm at the point where I'm driving home from my violin lesson making really random freaky thoughtless mistakes, and when I get home, I watch the simpsons, and fall asleep three times. But yeah. And prom's tomorrow. That's not good. No sleep for me. I don't wanna be horribly tired during prom. That would really suck. So this is a short update. It should be because I'm going to bed right now, which I think I would actually do, but because I'm leaving in like ten minutes to go out to dinner with Eileen cause her birthday's tomorrow. I also just got back from going out to dinner with my family. Craziness. But anyway, yeah. Yesterday was our last orchestra concert. It went really well, and was actually really fun. Our quartet was well received. Haha. It was really fun. Ahh, good times, good times. It was kinda sad too. But oh well. Tommy recited me a poem for the occasion right before our last piece performed together as stand partners. Haha. It was cool. So yeah, that was cool. And then we all went out to Applebee's for the last time. Ahh.... So sad. But fun. Today was our senior picnic too. That was really cool, surprisingly, but I'm all sunburned now, which kinda sucks seeing as prom's tomorrow. So I'll be really red and falling asleep. Good stuff. Haha. But I should go now. Things are crazy right now. I just want everything to turn out alright and be good with people, etc., etc. I dont' know. Too tired to talk about it. But I really wanna talk to some people more soon, cause I haven't been enough as of late. And we'll see how tomorrow goes. It should be fun though. The anti-prom cometh.
