September 11, 2000 ~ Hey there. Wow, it's been awhile, at least in goings on, if not in time as well. First off, as far as my revamping this page. I figured it would take me forever if I tried to finish it all before revealing it, so instead I'm just going to improve it bit by bit and reveal it as it is accomplished. So this is the new ramblings section. Haha. I think the cafe is next, but who knows.... You'll just have to check back to see the vast improvements. Haha. So yeah, college is going pretty well I'd say. Things are much more relaxed, less awkward and such. When I have moments when I kind of get a feeling of this school, I really really like it. It's crazy. There's so many really talented people here. Like insanely talented. It kinda freaks me out. It's so strange to be in a place where just about everyone is young, intelligent, nice and talented. Insanity. The general insane character of the school is wearing off on me as well I think. Like I was totally freaked out by the concept of the communal showers in my dorm, but now it's just not a big deal at all. There was a naked soccer game here last weekend. So yeah. And I've stopped shaving completely. Haha. It just doesn't matter here, and when it comes right down to it, when you're in the shower, and you could be done or shave, it's much easier to just be done. I think just being around so many different people in an environment like this is also changing the way I think a lot. Not really in any drastic ways, but I think I just kind of look at things from more angles now than I would have before, cause I have contact other peoples different experiences and opinions that I didn't have. So it's been interesting. And I'm sure it will get more interesting as time goes by. I like all of my classes for the most part, although I didn't get into the ones I wanted. Right now I'm taking.... "Monsters, Man-Eaters and Murderers in Victorian Literature", "Myth and Hero in the Greek Epic", Medieval European History, and Intro. to Cultural Anthropology. Oh! And The Films of John Waters. Hahaha. YEAH! My first class of that is tomorrow, and I am very very excited. I'm in too many reading intensive classes though. It's quite insane. I think I'm handling it relatively well though. At least much better than one would think I would from how I was in high school. Time is much easier to manage here I think. There's also something about living in the same place where you go to school. Cause it's not like there's this huge difference between being in school and being home, so there doesn't feel like there should be a disconnection between class and studying or whatever. Yeah. It's just much easier here. So yeah. And things are going pretty well. I'm having a good time. And I miss people, but it's not too bad, although it can get close to being bad. But for now, things are good. And I've got 3 concerts lined up for next weekend. Very exciting. BWAHAHA!
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September 3, 2000 ~ Well, let me see. Things are getting a lot better. They seem to improve day by day, although today I'm just not feeling too good, and I'm really tired. My afternoon was good though. Yesterday I think I really kind of got a feel for my college. Like so many epitomal things happened, and it was a blast. There are a whole lot of insanely cool and nice and interesting and talented people here. It's really cool. I really want classes to start so I can meet more people, and get some sort of schedule going. It's so hard for me to schedule my own time. This is a bad thing. I need to get better at that. I think I'm beginning to notice the ways in which television slowly ate away at my life. Haha. So now it's time for me to find productive things to fill my day with. So this is a good thing. It does require much change though. So here's my list of things to do in order to fill up the day: (of course I'm sure once classes start I'll be back to thinking that the days are too short)
- write
- go running
- go to the gym
- go swimming
- read
- do homework
- sit quietly and actually think about some stuff
- contemplate religion related things
- learn to knit or sew or something
- play my violin
- explore the con to find practice rooms
- go to the library and chill on the rainbow couches
- join something
- write more stuff
- go sit in tappan square
- go to subway and have me a picnic
Alright, I think that's a good list. So I've got plenty to do. I think I'm feeling somewhat torn. Like there's so much personal growth that I still need to do, yet I totally feel like I must be around people at all times in order to ensure that I find some sort of social group. So I don't know. I need to be able to balance all of this stuff as well. It's very odd. Maybe I'm just being too conscious with all of this, but I kind of feel like I have to, cause if I wasn't, then I'd just sit around all day being horribly bored and not meeting people. Overall I've been really impressed with this school though. It's just a really cool, unique and interesting place. So I think I should have a good experience. Things are still kind of in the awkward stage now though, which always sucks. I'm being bad about really doing things on my own though, which I think really inhibits everything else. I think I'm realizing how behind everyone here I am in that aspect. Like it's almost as if I just don't know myself, but it's not really that. It's like I know myself, but I just haven't taken the time ot acknowledge myself in such a long time that I've forgotten. So maybe that's one of the things that this experience has brought out of me and one of the reasons it was so rough for me. Like I didn't take the initiative to talk to professors of classes I didn't get into. Or to look into auditioning for any orchestras, or to do stuff on my own. I don't know. It's very bad. But hopefully I will get better about this stuff, and hopefully getting classes going will somehow motivate me in that direction. I haven't gotten my books yet, but I went to look at them today, and it's quite crazy. Like my medieval european history class's books took up like a shelf and a half. Insanity. But oh well. Hopefully it'll all be cool and I'll somehow be able to handle it. Alright, I'm goin now. I'll probably sleep soon. I'm so tired. Not good. I think the food here makes me sick too, which is not all that enjoyable. Alright, bye-bye!
