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The Joke War
by Michelle Paquette
Part Three
Tom and Harry rushed down to Holodeck One where B'Elanna was waiting for them. As they approached, the heavy grey doors slid open. The two young men entered. They noticed B'Elanna standing off to the side, staring at something with a strange expression on her face. Harry followed her gaze and then stood transfixed by the sight before him. Beside Kim, Tom was also staring openmouthed.
Reclining on a plush couch was Seven of Nine, but this hologram differed from their flesh and blood colleague by a few external aspects. This 'Seven's' hair fell to her shoulders in graceful waves. There were no sign of any Borg implants marring the smooth beauty of her skin. The hologram had a soft, friendly glow in her eyes that made anyone who looked into them want to get to know her better. She was clad in a silky violet floor-length gown which complimented her figure nicely. Tom, Harry, and B'Elanna had the right to stare; she was a vision of beauty. Paris whistled softly under his breath.
The room was dimly lit by the light from a few dozen white votive candles, and the sweet scent of roses was in the air, undoubtably from the bouquet sitting on the table in the center of the room.. A grand piano sat off to one side.
Tom and Harry could tell that B'Elanna had paused the program, since 'Seven's' mouth was partly open, as if she had been speaking. "She started to ask where The Doctor was, so I paused the program," B'Elanna confirmed.
Tom shook his head in disbelief. "Boy, I knew The Doctor had a crush on Seven, but I had no idea he had it this bad!"
Harry and B'Elanna turned to stare at him. "You KNEW he had a thing for her?!" Torres asked.
Tom turned his eyes their way. "Well, yeah. I thought it was pretty obvious."
"I had no idea," Kim answered. "I mean, I knew they were friends and everything, but..."
"Does Seven know how he feels?" B'Elanna sounded doubtful.
Tom shook his head no. "I told him to be straight with her, but I think he's too shy."
"Either that or he's scared of rejection." Harry could sympathize.
"Well, either way I think this is sick." B'Elanna gestured toward the frozen Seven.
"You never know," Harry pointed out. "It could be totally innocent."
"Does it look that way to you?" B'Elanna shot back. "Look at how she's dressed!"
"Guys, guys," Tom calmed them down. "There's only one way to find out. Start 'er up, B'Elanna!"
"No way!" B'Elanna felt that they had already seen too much. It would be downright wrong to delve deeper into the program. "You said you wanted to see what the program was, so here; you've seen it.. Now we can leave. Computer, end pr--"
"Not so fast," Tom cut her off. Before Harry or B'Elanna had time to react, Tom had already given the command to continue the program.
They looked on as Seven completed her question. "--octor?" she finished. "And who are you?" The hologram looked confused.
"Um," Tom began, "We're just some of his friends. Were you expecting him?"
'Seven' stood up and approached them. "No," she answered simply. "Well, now that you're here, may I offer you something to drink?"
Harry smiled and began to say yes, but Tom elbowed him in the side. "We didn't come here for refreshments," he whispered sharply.
"Okay, okay,' Harry grumbled. Then, addressing the look-alike, he said, "So, what's your name?"
She smiled at him. "My name is Annika Hansen. But, please, just call me Annika."
Kim smiled back. "So Annika, how long have you known The Doctor?"
"Um, let's see..." The hologram tilted her head to the side as she contemplated the question. "It's been a little over a year now. Fourteen months, I believe."
"That long, huh?" To Tom that seemed about right. He had first become aware of The Doctor's secret a little over a year ago, after Seven had gone on her first 'date' with Lieutenant Chapman. He must have created this program soon after.
"The Doctor and I have become very close over the past year. I consider him to be my soulmate." Annika smiled dreamily. "He's so talented and incredibly handsome. The Doctor is just perfect, don't you think?"
B'Elanna had been looking at the hologram with a disgusted look on her face. Now she waited until the look-alike had finished speaking and then said quickly, "I've heard enough of this. Computer, end program." The interior of the holodeck morphed into a dull grey.
Tom turned around to face Harry and B'Elanna. "Well, I guess now we know why The Doctor spends so much time with this program. Who wouldn't want to be told how great you are by a beautiful woman? What an ego-booster!"
Harry grinned. "Tell me about it!"
B'Elanna was feeling annoyed. "I knew it would be something like this," she pointed out. "When The Doctor made himself a family on the holodeck, they were sugar-sweet also. No family is like that. He just can't seem to get anyone right. Seven is not like this at all. She would certainly never say any of those things about him."
"You're missing the point, B'Elanna." Harry cleared his throat. "The holodeck is all about creating situations that would never happen in real life. Fantasies. And besides, who are you to say that Seven could never fall for The Doctor? He's a really nice guy."
B'Elanna rolled her eyes. "No one's saying he's not. It's just that Seven of Nine doesn't know the first thing about love. I'm sure she's very good friends with The Doctor, but I'd be willing to bet that nothing more will come of it. Besides, he's a hologram and she's a young woman. I'm sure if she was going to go after someone it would be a man more her age; one of flesh and blood."
Harry looked upset. "That's unfair and you know it, B'Elanna. The Doctor and Seven have just as much of a chance at a reationship as you and Tom had."
B'Elanna looked over at Tom. "You may have a point, but I still think he's setting himself up for a major rejection."
At this point Paris cut in. "Think what you want, B'Elanna, but it's anyone's guess what will happen. Don't you have a shift starting soon? It's almost 1800 hours."
"Oh my goodness! Thanks for reminding me. I was so intent on unraveling your little mystery here that I lost all track of time."
"Well, it would have been worth it even if you were late. Thanks a lot." Tom put his hand on her shoulder.
B'Elanna looked up at him for a moment and then said, "No problem. But I'd better go." She turned to leave.
"See you later!" Harry called after her. When the doors had closed, he turned back to Tom. "You know, I think I'll go now too. If I can catch Chakotay before his shift, maybe he'll have time for a game of poker first. Care to join us?"
Tom didn't even pause to think about it. "Nope. I have a few more questions for our friend here. And then I have to replicate some more practical jokes for tomorrow. I want to make up some new schematics for trick tricorders. Busy night!"
"Suit yourself." Harry walked out through the doors. "Bye!"
Tom waved goodbye to his friend and then turned back around. "Restart the last program but keep it on paused mode," Tom said aloud to the computer.
There was a sequence of beeps and immediately the holodeck returned to its former setting. In the soft ambient lighting, Annika Hansen looked beautiful.
Tom paced back and forth in front of her for a few seconds, and suddenly an idea came to him. There might be a way he could help The Doctor gain some confidence about approaching Seven of Nine with his feelings. The Doc would be able to get a better idea of how she would react in real life if this simulation of her were more accurate. As she was now, Annika was much too open and friendly. The real Seven was more reserved and self-conscious.
Tom felt that if he made a few changes, he could get this hologram's personality pretty close to Seven's. Their appearances also differed greatly, but he would not tinker with Annika's looks. That way, when The Doctor next activated his program, he would not not notice obvious changes until he spoke to her. Then he could get an honest reaction. Maybe if she reciprocated his feelings for her, it might even encourage The Doctor to confront Seven of Nine in real life.
Tom felt very confident that with a little bit of interference on his part, The Doctor would be well on his way toward finally revealing to Seven that he cared about her. "Computer, open parameters for changes to the Annika Hansen hologram," he ordered, and the computer beeped again in response.
After an additional half-hour, Paris finally felt that his work was done. Annika would now act more like her human counterpart; the real Seven of Nine. Whether or not that was an improvement was certainly arguable, but that was irrelevant. The important thing was that it was an accurate representation.
Tom completed his last alteration to Annika's personality subroutines and then ordered the computer to restart the program.
Just as he had suspected, the program was close to perfect. Paris spoke to the hologram for a few moments to test her out. She now acted exactly like Seven of Nine. Tom felt a shiver run down his spine. It felt kind of creepy to run a holodeck program using holograms of people you knew or worked with. Most of his programs consisted of classic 20th century cars or monsters and bad guys to fight. The last time Tom had run a program like this was about three years ago, when he had inadvertantly stumbled in on B'Elanna running a program about a Maquis uprising that contained holograms of the entire crew. He even took a turn at playing, but felt strange when he encountered a hologram of himself.
Tom shut off the program once he felt satisfied with the results. He instructed the computer to reset it to its status before it was activated by B'Elanna but to integrate the new personality subroutines. Then he left.
*****
"...someone to watch... over meee..." The Doctor sang softly to himself as he made his way down the corridor toward the turbolift. The old Earth tune reminded him of one of the most memorable days of his life; his first date with Seven of Nine. Actually, it wasn't really a date, at least not according to Seven, but to him it was close enough. They had danced to "Someone To Watch Over Me" on the holodeck, holding each other very close.
The Doctor sighed as he remembered how romantic it had been. The experience had even encouraged him to confront Seven with his feelings for her. He went and created a holodeck program to practice on, but before he was able to hear the hologram's response, he had been interrupted by the real Seven of Nine. He realized then, as they spoke, that she did not have the same feelings for him. He would have been be a fool to tell her. Seven seemed only to think of him as a friend and mentor, but nothing more.
Since that day, The Doctor had tried to keep his feelings to himself. Tom Paris knew he loved Seven, of course, but he was the only one. The Doctor had kept his holodeck program active but unused, using encription codes to protect its security. He had not meant to run it ever again, but one lonely day he went to seek solace in the holodeck. The Doctor found himself running the forbidden program. Even the hologram did not care for him in the way that he longed for, so he made a few changes. He renamed the Seven hologram Annika, and she was made to look and act slightly different.
Day after day The Doctor returned to the holodeck to adjust his program, bringing it closer to perfection every time. This had been going on for a little over thirteen months. He and Annika had developed a warm relationship during that time. The Doctor visited with her almost every day, and in return she treated him with a level of warmth and kindness he had never experienced before, not even with Denara Pel. Denara had been his first love and always would be, but circumstance had pushed them apart and he had moved on.
The Doctor enjoyed the time he spent with Annika, but he could never get over the feeling that something was missing. His program was just that; a program. It would never take the place of reality. Seven of Nine was still far out of reach. This thought made him feel very depressed.
The Doctor stepped into the turbolift. A young blonde ensign whom he recognized as Ensign Claire Jenkins was already inside. He gave her a small smile and then said aloud, "Deck Six."
Jenkins smiled back. "Hello, Doctor! How are you this afternoon?" She was as cheerful as ever, and somehow this only served to darken The Doctor's mood.
"Fine," he mumbled, more to himself than her.
"I'm on my way to the mess hall for a snack, if you'd care to join me," Jenkins offered.
"I don't eat, remember; I'm just a hologram," The Doctor replied sharply.
"I know that, silly!" she laughed. "I just thought you might want some company."
"I'm not going to the mess hall," the hologram replied, softening his tone. "I'm just on my way to the holodeck."
"Gonna fire up the old opera program?"
The Doctor felt embarrassed. "Uh, yeah. As a matter of fact, I am."
The ensign smiled. "I hear you're very talented! I'm quite the opera buff myself. We'll have to try a duet sometime."
'The only woman I enjoy singing with is Seven,' The Doctor thought to himself, but he didn't want to hurt Claire's feelings, so he merely smiled. "Yes, sometime."
At Deck Two, the turbolift doors slid open almost silently. "Well, here's where I get off," Ensign Jenkins pointed out. She inadvertantly brushed against The Doctor as she exited. "Oh, sorry; small turbolift," she explained, and then stepped out.
"That's alright," he said.
"Goodbye, Doctor." Jenkins gave one last smile and then walked off down the hallway.
The turbolift resumed its course. Soon The Doctor was standing outside the doors to Holodeck Two. He hesitated; he was nervous. Yesterday, Harry had scared him into thinking that Lieutenant Torres had run his Annika program. Even after Kim assured him that she hadn't, he was so shaken that he couldn't bring himself to activate it. Instead, he used up his holodeck time placing encryption codes on each of his programs. None of the others were as controversial, of course, but The Doctor didn't like to have his privacy invaded. It was hard enough not having his own quarters.
The holodeck doors opened in response to the sequence of commands The Doctor voiced. He composed himself as much as he could and then stepped inside.
Annika was standing in one corner of the room, near the grand piano. As he looked on, she turned around to smile at him. "Hello, Doctor." His heart melted at the sound of her voice. Even if this hologram was no substitute for the real Seven, she still had the capability of reducing him to mush.
"Hello, Annika." He began to walk toward her. "How are you today, my love?" The Doctor stood in front of the Seven look-alike and opened his arms to envelop her in a hug.
A confused look spread across Annika's face as he leaned toward her. "Explain yourself," she demanded.
The Doctor was taken aback. "What's wrong, Annika?" he asked, concerned.
"You attempted to make a romantic advancement toward me. I do not understand your intentions." She seemed puzzled, and even a bit disturbed.
The Doctor was rendered speechless. "Um, you'll have to excuse me," he muttered, and then headed for the doors.
The Doctor let out a loud sigh as soon as he was safe outside the holodeck. 'This has to have been Tom's doing,' he thought to himself bitterly. The Doctor was now sure of one thing: the program had to be deleted before it was discovered by more people, including Seven herself. There was no point in retaining this useless fantasy anyway. Seven would never come to care for him as more than a friend and colleague. If Tom's interference had done one thing, it had made him realize that more than ever.
"Computer, delete program, authorization Omega-Six-Four-Eight," The Doctor said aloud. He closed his eyes as he heard the inevitable beeps. He wished he would have been able to give Annika a proper explanation or at least a good-bye, but he couldn't bear to face her again.
The more The Doctor thought about Tom's actions, the more angry he got. What did he think he was doing? The Doctor had half a mind to go straight to the captain to complain, but he realized that she would be curious as to the content of the program, and he did not want to have to explain himself to her.
The hologram ran his hand across his forehead. He had to think. He spun around and walked back toward the turbolift, then realized he didn't know where he was going to go. The Doctor didn't have a place he could go just to be by himself. Before now, his place of refuge had been the holodeck, but that was the last place he wanted to be right now. The mess hall was out of the question. He finally decided that Sickbay would be the best choice. Perhaps it would be a slow day.
The Doctor arrived at Sickbay and told the officer in charge that he was relieved of duty. Luckily there were no patients, so he walked into his office and took a seat behind the desk.
Many thoughts were running through The Doctor's mind, but one stood out above all - he was in love with Seven of Nine, and it was tearing him apart.
END OF PART THREE
