Comments from Jonathan Rail: Greetings! The Young Upstart is starting yet ANOTHER story! No, none of my other stories are finished. Why am I starting this? Because when I started on this, my girlfriend wanted to collaborate on a story with me. We've broken up, but that doesn't mean we can't finish it. If you don't like it, make like a casino worker and DEAL WITH IT!

Comments from Andrea Robinson: Um...is this thing recording? Dang it! I might have known. I have a whole other series I should be finishing, but am I going to work on it? In your dreams, buster! Regardless...well, I'll shut up already, here's the story, live with it.

ALL THE LEGAL JUNK YOU DON'T REALLY WANT TO KNOW: Paramount, under the Viacom conglomerate, owns Star Trek as we see it on TV and read about it in Pocket books (or listen to it on Simon & Schuster audio, as the case may be). This story, and the ones that will eventually follow, are merely explorations of less-than-perfect people. We are heavily influenced by Star Traks, which was created by Alan Decker. No copyright infringement is intended.

Now, on with the story!

Captain Hamilton followed the circle he had imprinted on the floor of the bridge with his pacing. Lieutenant Bell, watching him from conn, blinked, then timidly spoke up. "Ah, sir? Would you mind telling me the benefit in pacing?" In less time than it takes a Soong-type android to calculate pi to the twentieth digit, Hamilton was leaning menacingly over Bell.

"I'll tell you the benefit in pacing, Lieutenant. It gives me something to do while waiting for our idiotic Operations Officer to get his lazy, no-good, irresponsible kiester up here! But I'll stop. Heaven forbid I should make anyone dizzy!" At that moment, the turbolift doors opened, admitting Lieutenant Jenkins on the bridge.

"Morning, Captain. Sorry I'm late, but I had a little... appointment with Doctor Wang." The bridge's intercom system came on. =/\=Sickbay to Hamilton. Don't believe what Jenkins is hinting. He slept in after staying up in the holodeck until after 0200 hours=/\= Jenkins scowled as he took his station. =/\=And I'll thank you to think of my people with a little more respect, Lieutenant. Wang out.=/\= The bridge crew snickered. "Hey, can't a guy have a little privacy?" complained Jenkins. "Of course you can, once you stop staying up for those Orion holodeck programs," replied Hamilton. "And in case you didn't know, it's a class-two offense to lie to your commanding officer. I might have had some respect for you if you'd just admitted to sleeping in." Hamilton cracked a smile, as Commander Chad Cohen tried to suppress a snicker. With Lieutenant Jenkins more than sufficiently chastised, Hamilton opened a comm line. "Hamilton to engineering."

=/\=Murray here,=/\= replied the chief engineer.

"Are engines ready for departure?"

=/\=Ah... not yet, sir. Things got pretty busy last night, and I haven't had time to get them ready, sir.=/\= Hamilton scowled as he checked a PADD.

"According to drydock logs, no one was in Engineering at any time last night."

=/\=That's about the size of it, sir,=/\= confessed Murray.

"I see. Are you too busy to engage emergency start procedures?"

=/\=No, sir. I'll have the engines online quicker than you can say "Antidisestablishmentarianism".=/\= Hamilton's frown deepened.

"Anti-what?" His PADD beeped as Murray's voice came over the comm lines.

=/\=Antidisestablishmentarianism, sir. I should be ready by the time you figure out how to say it. Murray out.=/\=

"Why couldn't she have chosen a simpler phrase, like 'Jack Robinson'?" muttered Hamilton. "Lieutenant Commander Murray has a history of putting things off, sir," volunteered Cohen. "If she follows the pattern I'm seeing on her Starfleet record, she hasn't even assembled her engineering staff, and is attempting to do so right now," he observed with Vulcan-like detatchment.

"Perfect. Just perfect. How did that woman ever manage to become Chief Engineer?!"

"Probably the same way they chose the chief of security for the Enterprise," suggested Bell. "Spencer Marcus has just been given that post." Jenkins spun around in his chair.

"Marcus? Isn't he the idiot who screwed around with the Academy computers in spring of '63?" Bell nodded. "I just don't understand."

"Well, security officers don't last long on the Enterprise," remarked Hamilton. "Maybe Starfleet wanted to kill him off without raising suspicion."

"You're still talking about that?" asked Jenkins. "I was talking about how he managed to get engaged to that one Bajoran hottie." Hamilton shook his head.

"I really don't want to know, Lieutenant." He tapped the comm panel on his console. "Bridge to Engineering. Murray, are you quite ready with the engines?"

=/\=Ready, sir. Thrusters, impulse, and warp engines ready whenever you are, sir.=/\=

"What about the quantum slipstream drive?"

=/\=Ah, well, funny you should mention that, sir. Let's just say that we're going to be using gateways for the next week or so.=/\= Hamilton sighed. He had only been in command for two days, and already he hated his senior staff.

"Get to work on it, Murray. Bridge out." He stood, facing the center viewer. "Lieutenant Bell, inform spacedock that we're requesting permission to depart, take us out at thrusters when they've given us permission, yadda, yadda, yadda." Bell's hands flew over his console.

"Ah, sir, one small problem. We missed our window of opportunity. The next chance to leave won't be for another week, and if we need to use Gateways, then it'll be at least another month." Hamilton smacked his forehead, dragging his hand down his face.

"Very, well, Lieutenant. Get us pencilled in for the first available departure time. I'm going to have a little chat with Commander Murray about our engines. Cohen, you have the conn." Captain Hamilton didn't hate his bridge crew. He just wanted to kill them all.

"Murray?" called Hamilton as he entered Engineering. "I need to talk to you, Commander." Murray backed out of a Jeffries tube, hitting her head when she tried to get up too soon.

"Ow! Sorry, Captain. Things are a little hectic down here."

"So I've noticed. Wouldn't it have been just a LITTLE easier to take care of this before we were scheduled to leave Spacedock? Our departure time just got pushed back by a month." Murray winced. "Sorry, sir. I just got a little distracted, and one thing lead to another, and before I knew it, it's time to leave! I'm really sorry about this, Captain." Hamilton sighed. "Commander, I would appreciate it if you put a little forethought into these things."

"I do, Captain, it's just that I get involved with stuff, and...." Hamilton shook his head.

"It's all right for now, Commander. Just keep it in mind. Understood, Commander?"

"Perfectly, sir," replied Murray, bobbing her head.

"Good. Then get to work. Hopefully, we'll be able to sneak in with another ship going to the Delta Quadrant. As you were," Hamilton added, leaving engineering. Quicker than a white rabbit leaping at the throats of King Arthur's knights, Murray was at the main console, getting the quantum slipstream drive ready.

Captain's Log, Stardate 566092.4
     The Enterprise saves the day again.  Upon hearing 
of our plight, Captain Jarok was willing to give up her scheduled passage time through the gateway so the 
Yorktown can go through and only be a week behind, 
instead of a full month.  I think she was gloating
about it.  Damn "finest ship in the fleet".  What are 
we, chopped liver?  Just once, I would like to see the 
Enterprise get into REAL trouble. Ahem. Excuse me.
     Despite a week-long setback, we are now in the 
Delta Quadrant, and are making up for lost time.  With 
that in mind, it is now my duty to recite the Starfleet 
Charter.

"Um, sir?" interrupted Commander Cohen. "That's not really a duty, sir. That's an option, reserved for the Enterprise."

"Chad, when I want your opinion, I'll give it to you, then beat it out of you. Understood?"

"Yes, Captain," mumbled Cohen.

Where was I? oh, yes...
Space: The final frontier.  These are the voyages of 
the starship Yorktown.  Her continuuing mission:
  --to explore strange, new worlds
  --to seek out new life, and new civilizations
  --to boldly go where no one has gone before.
Why do they put it like that, anyway?  I mean, if no-one's
been there before, then how are you supposed to find 
the life, and civilizations, that are out there.  Note 
for Federation PR workers: change to "Where no 
Federation member has gone before."  Also, I suggest 
that they take a course in basic Terran grammar.  
They're splitting their infinitives, it should be "To 
go boldly".  The whole charter is full of rich mistakes 
like that.  What am I talking about?  I don't remember.  
Computer, end log.

"Very inspirational, sir," observed Lieutenant Bell.

"Shut up before I bust you down to midshipman." Bell nodded, and wisely focused on the monotony of his station.

Captain's Log, Supplemental:
     While the Enterprise gets the thrill of 
establishing diplomatic relations, we get stuck with 
the mind-numbing boredom of charting stellar phenomena.
Why can't the Enterprise get stuck with a boring 
assignment for once?  Would it kill anyone if that ship 
did something routine?  Computer, end log.

"Either somebody tells me who the h*ll rigged this childish prank right outside my quarters, or everybody on the bridge will feel the wrath of my phaser!" Bell turned to Jenkins, who was miserably failing at suppressing his snickers.

"Ah, you wouldn't happen to know who she is, would you, Steve?" Jenkins nodded.

"Lieutenant Commander Darcien Selholeva, our chief of security. She's got a murderously low threshold of pain."

"Meaning...?"

"It means that I kill anyone who causes me pain!" snapped Darcien, bringing her phaser to bear on Bell.

"Oh. crud."

To be continued

To New Beginnings

Home, James!