Tugger: Couldn't mess with the title of this one, huh?

Veroni: Unfortunatly, no.

Misto: Now we're into the historial musicals? Sheesh!

Veroni: Well, I think it should be a breath of fresh air for us. The ending is semi-happy and uplifting.

Cori: Unheard of in over half the parodies you have done.....

Veroni: My point exactly, so go put on those costumes I gave you guys.

Skimble: I still don't understand why you wouldn't let us see these things ahead of--- AAAIEEEE!!! (unzips the bag to reveal stockings, bloomers, ya know, the full 1770's getup...). I can't wear this! I'll look like a girl!

Munku: Apparently you haven't seen the girls yet.

Alonzo: Brrr... do I want to?

Munku: With those hoop skirts I think getting them to fit through the door will be a miracle.

Veroni: C'mon! You're spoiling all my fun!

(The curtain rises on Catadelphia, PA: 1776. A few weeks before the historic signing of the Declaration of Independance.)

Gus: AH! So that's why these are turn-of-the-century garments!

Veroni: What page are you on Gus? Cuz we already got there.

(We are inside Indepawndance Hall where the continental congress has gathered to vote on the current situation with their oppressors, (and oh, by the by-- Mother Country) England. As they debate, a very stern and hotheaded congressman takes center stage to address the audience. He is Mistohn Adams from Massachusetts, famed throughout the congress as the most outspoken and disliked delegate. His voice has been said to pierce through---)

Misto: I get the point. They hate me. Can we move on please? These stockings are making my legs itch.

Misto: I have come to the conclusion that one useless cat is called a disgrace. That two are called a lawfirm, and that three or more become a congress! And by the Everlasting Cat I have had it with this congress! For 10 years King Deuteronomy and his Parliament have gulled, cullied and dithled this Junkyard with their illegal taxes. Litter tax... catnip tax and even scratching post taxes! And still, this congress refuses to grant any of my proposals on independance, or even so much as the courtesy of open debate! By the Everlasting Cat! What in the Heavyside are they waiting for?

Plato: You to shut up, maybe?

Congress Toms: (sing) Sit down Mistohn!

Sit down Mistohn!

By the Everlasting Cat, Mistohn! SIT DOWN!

Sit down Mistohn!

Sit down Mistohn!

For Everlasting Cat sake, Mistohn! SIT DOWN!

Plato: Someone oughta open up a window!

Toms again: NO! NO! NO!

Too many fleas...

Too many fleas...

And it's hot as he--

(You get the idea that things aren't going too well? Wanna register that as understatement of the year? Fed up, Adams retreats for some fresh air in the out-of-doors. To clear his mind, he decides it would be fun to plead with the Everlasting Cat for some help.)

Misto: (sings to the sky) You see, we Piddle, Twiddle and Resolve!

Not one dang thing do we solve!

Piddle, Twiddle and Resolve

Nothing's ever solved

In foul, fetted, fuming, foggy, filthy...

Catadelphia!

(In the middle of his fuming spree, he conjurs up his wife in his mind for some comfort and solace.)

Jenny: I thought there weren't any queens in this thing!

Veroni: I said 'many' not any... read the contract through again.

Jenny: Why's it have to be me?

Veroni: You're good at acting like an annoying wife.

Cori: Who's acting?

Jenny: Eheh.. Eheh...

Jenny: Mistohn! Mistohn! Is that you carrying on? MISTOHN!

Misto: Oh Abby! I have such a desire to knock heads together!

Tugger: And we thought the wining and brooding was reserved for him as Angel in that other parody...

Misto: I heard that!

(To make a long marrital dispute short and sweet, (and just think-- this is only going on in his mind and through a few letters! brrr..) he agrees to send her pins, which they have run short of in the war nowadays, in exchange for her lady's sewing circle to make saltpeter.)

Cori: My name is not Peter.

Veroni: No no! "Saltpeter", Not "Salt, Peter".

Jemi: That really didn't help the confused kitten over here!

Veroni: Saltpeter is a key ingredient in gunpowder. Sheesh! First Arthurian legend and now historical weaponry. Is there anything you guys DO know a lot about?

Lec: I know that cheese gets all runny and separates into clumpy things if you leave it out in the sun--

Cet: And that you shouldn't eat shushi from a vending machine--

Vicky: Oh! And hot dogs aren't made of real dog--

Veroni: ENOUGH!

(Back in actual time now, Adams and his congressional ally, Mr. Bustopher Franklin--)

Bustopher: Why me?

Veroni: You have the perfect name for it and those glasses.

Bustopher: They told me to get contacts, but no, I didn't listen...

(Franklin suggests that someone more popular, and frankly, less of an annoyance should be the one to enter the proposal for independance...)

Bustopher: Mistohn, why don't you give it up? Your obnoxious and disliked....

Misto: I'm not proposing Mistohn Adams! I'm proposing Independance!

Bustopher: Aparently they can't help connecting the two. Look, why don't you let someone else try?

Misto: Never! (after a long moment) Well, who'd you have in mind?

Bustopher: Oh, no one.

(Just then, a tom rides in atop his horse--- He is Mr. Tuggard Henry Lee of the great colony of Virginia.)

Tugger: YEE-HAW!!

Pounce: No one my foot...

Tugger: HELLO MISTOHNNY!

Misto: Oh joy... HIM.

Bustopher: Now, Tuggard. Mistohnny and I are in a bit of a spot. We want to get this proposal of independance through congress, but since Mistohnny here is----

Tugger: --- Obnoxious and disliked, you want to get somebody else to propose!!! And I know that this is supposed to drag out for a few more minutes, but I'm cutting to the chase here. Little Tom's room becons! I'LL DO IT!

Veroni: Aurgh!

Tugger: (sings, ala Gaston and Lancelot) My name is Tuggard Henry Lee,

Virginia is my home!

My name is Tuggard Henry Lee

Virginia is my hooooooome!

And may my horses turn to glue

If I can't deliver onto you

A resolution on INDEPENDANC-EY!

For I am FFV

Tumble: It's good he's open about such things.

Veroni: Wha--?

Pounce: Never mind. The guys and I were just having a discussion earlier about---

Veroni: Forget I asked. This may be a cause of major regret later when his ego is taking another famous trip, but please continue Tugger!

Tugger: (picks up somewhere in the song) You see, it's here a Lee,

There a Lee

EVERYWHERE A LEE, A LEE!

Bustopher: Social--

Tugger: Lee!

Bustopher: Political--

Tugger: Lee!

Bustopher: Finantial--

Tugger: Lee!

Bustopher: Natural--

Tugger: Lee!

Bustopher: Internal--

Tugger: Lee!

Bustopher: External--

Tugger: Lee!

Bustopher: Fraternal--

Tugger: Lee!

Bustopher: ETERNAL--

Tugger: LEE!!

Quaxo: Help--

Pounce: ME!

Asparagus Jr: Real--

Pounce: LEE!

Veroni: Stop it or I may have to cause some pain--

Pounce: Lee?

Veroni: NO! Great... and I thought the TUGGER was going to be the problem in this song....

(Anyhow, Tuggard races off to get his colony to agree to propose Independance. Meanwhile, the next day arrives, and the congress is just about to convene....)

Tumble: (walks in, obviously uncomfortable in his 1770's clothing) Uhm... I'm Dr. Tumbleman Hall of Georgia.

Pounce: Howdy! I'm Poundrew McNair, congressional custodian!

Tumble: (long silence) I was told congress convenes at 10:00.

Pounce: Oh, they'll start wandering any minute now---- and not much has changed in today's political structure, huh?

Veroni: I would yell at him for breaking character, but he has a good point.

(Soon, deligates begin filtering in bit by bit and we learn about their characters, so as much as I would like to cut this long section of dialogue, it's kinda vital to the storyline, so we'll trudge on through it.)

Pounce: (continues) --- with old grapened guts leading the pack.

Tumble: WHO?

Gus: (staggers in, yelling) MCNAIR!!! MORE RUM!!!

Pounce: (points at Gus) Grapened guts.

Alonzo: Wow, V. I'm impressed. You really got Gus into charac---- He's REALLY wasted, isn't he?

Veroni: As much as I prayed he'd be able to pull it off without imploying method acting, I guess it was a last resort.

Tugger: Oh yea! Gus can join us at the AA group meetings now, which we were forced to attend thanks to all these parodies where we get drunk.

(There are more introductions, leading nicely into the entrance of our next character.)

Gus: Tell me, Mr. Hall, where do you stand on the question of Independance?

Alonzo: (walks in, in an even MORE frilly outfit than the first few) With South Carolina---- I look like a pansy!

Tugger: OH SUCK IT UP! We've ALL had to do the frilly costume thing!

Gus: AH! Eddie! Mr. Hall, this is Mr. Edward Alonzridge of South Carolina.

(More introductions, leading to the entrance of our next characters.... There is an outburst in the hallway, and three toms enter. They comprise the Deleware delegation.)

Alonzo: AH! Enter Deleware-- Triod Juncda Uno. (Three joined as one)

Mungo: Spoiek plain, 'Lonzridge! Ya knaow Oi can't follow a word o'yer darn French!

Alonzo: It's Latin, Colonel Mungokean. A tribute to the peace and harmony of the Deleware delegation!

Mungo: Wot are ya sayin' man?! Ya knaow perfectly well dat neitha Victa nor Oi can stan' da sight o' this LOUSE! (points at Asparagus)

Asparagus: HEY!

(As this conversation carries on, a quiet and contemplative tom walks in and takes his seat in the group. He is Mr. Munkus Jefferson from Virginia.)

(A horse and carriage pull up outside and out steps the Pennsylvania delegation, minus Bustopher Franklin. The first out is Mr. Mac Dickenson, followed by his ever loyal shadow-- Mr. Jamaxo Wilson. In case you were curious, since Mac is playing the guy, you can rest easy that his character is the troublemaker of the group..)

Mac: If you favor independance he is! If you favored staying tied to the mother country, he's a saint!

Veroni: Oh put a sock in it.

Pounce: Gladly. (shoves a sock in Mac's mouth and runs in the other direction)

(NEXT in is our good ol' buddy, Bustopher Franklin. He arrives being carried by a few servants.... played here by queens since our supply of toms is needed for the main characters..... since he has the gout in his one leg and it causes him trouble from time to time.)

Misto: (waiting inside impatiently) Franklin, where were you?

Bustopher: Softly, Mistohn. Your voice is hurting my foot.

Misto: I'll give Tuggard one more day, Franklin, and then *I* propose.

(President Rumpohn Hancock calls the Congress to order, and the congressional secretary reads the minutes)

Plato: Second Continental congress meeting 7 June, 1776 in the city of Philadelphia.... the 380th meeting.

Pounce: OOOOO!! I get to say it!

Veroni: THEN SAY IT ALREADY!

Pounce: Sa-weet Jesus!

Plato: (clears his throat and continues) The honorable Rumpohn Hancock presiding.

Rumpus: (picks up his flyswatter and lands a direct hit on the desktop) Thank you Mr. Platompson. Mr. McNair, the stores of wines and other drinking spirits are hereby closed to the colony of Rhode Island for a period of three days time...

Gus: RUMPOHNNY! You can't do that!

Rumpus: Sit down, Mr. Guspkins. You've abused the privilage.

(They proceed to read the roll call, and everyone is there, except for the entire New Jersey deligation.)

Rumpus: I am concerned over the continual absence of 1/13th of our congress. Where is New Jersey?

Mac: Somewhere between New York and Pennsylvania.

Cats: Ooooh. Lousy joke.

(There's some more babbling, but thank the lord, just then the Courier comes racing in, bringing important information from General George Washington.)

George: But I'm playing the COURIER.

Veroni: Not you, George!

Bomb: And we have used that joke WAY too many times.

Veroni: Yes. And I'd gladly debate that further with you, but too bad we have to take a break now.

Bustopher: But what's the letter say?

Veroni: I'm just going to have to hold you in suspense.

Misto: If suspense is anything like those chains you held me in for "Jostoff.."---

Veroni: Suspense isn't an actual... oh, never mind!