Kel: (walks into the room humming and puts a few more Christmas ornaments on the tree before sitting down to type)

Vicky: Kel, about this next part of the fic...

Misto: You can't seriously be meaning to...

Kel: Oh yes I am!! School is out for Christmas and I intend to spend some quality fic time with you guys. Consider it my Christmas present to you all.

Misto: Bah humbug.

Kel: Your lack of enthusiasm isn't going to damper my holiday spirit, Misto. So you might as well give up and go get into costume.

At last check, Skimble was history....

Cats: At least that's the OFFICIAL story.

He died heroically saving the fic world from the disasterous unraveling of what was at that point passing for a plot. What are the chances of him staying dead with this author's Doyle Infatuation? Less than zero.

Demi: And you yell at us for giving away the plot? Sheesh.

Kel: As if the readers *didn't* catch onto the subtle hints I've been dropping all over the place.

Tugger: Subtle? Uh-huh. Sure. Whatever.

Left to battle the forces of darkness alone, Misto and Vicky go out in search of someone to save. Granted that without their vision guidebook Skimble, they're having about as much luck as a leech trying to suck blood from a stone---

Cass: And there's a mental image that I could have lived without...

--But they're coping. They search about the streets for awhile with, (a revelation!) no results. Dispairing over facing the now inevitable flunking in the P.I. biz and oh yeah, still mourning the fact that 1/3 of their groupie had gone to that big litter box in the sky, they flop down on a park bench to rest and recuperate and reflect upon their recent string of ROTTEN luck....

Jelly: R&R in this fic series can only mean one thing.... *gasp* NO!

(to the tune of "Noel")

Misto and Vicky:
No Pal... No Pal...

No Pal... No Pal...

Minus are we one third of our chorale.

No melody.... no tune

No tone.... OH WE-ELL!

Maybe now Kel

Will leave us alone-el.

Tanto: That sounded funky.

As they were about to jump into a second rousing verse, Misto was *magically* whisked away to that place where the all-knowing, all-seeing cats hang. Just as Misto began to get his bearings, two golden colored felines approached.

"Come a'fore us, Lowa Bein'!" the male one intoned in rather thick cockney.

"Great." Misto said flatly. "Not only do I loose my strange little 80's pop singing sidekick, but I get in trouble with the big guys to boot? That's no fair."

"Ya've caused much trouble in the world recently." the female all-knowing yadda yadda said.

"How?" Misto asked in confusion.

"Ya were murd'ren Chris'mas carols," the male spoke again.

"That was this author's fault!" Misto wined. "That's what you wanted me for? To complain about some old yuletide jibberish?"

"OH YEAH!" the female one reached for a stack of paper and read for a moment. "It has been forseen by the PTB---"

Cetera: PTB?

Kel: Powers that be.

Cetera: AH! Cuz my mind was going someplace icky.

"--that you will be visited by a certain Pum in the near future who will ask you for help." the gold cat finished and walked back to the entrance of the home of the all-knowing all-seeing cats once more.

"That's it?" Misto asked puzzled. "You guys are as vague on this vision stuff as Skimble was!"

"Who do you think gave him the info?" the gold cats said agitatedly and sent him away.

Rumple: Are me an' Mungo gonna become loike, re-occurin' guest folks?

Kel: If you want, then sure!

Rumple: No! Oi didn't mean tha' we *wan---

Mungo: Smooth move, Ex-Lax.

So Misto returned to the place where he had been seated just a moment before his trip into the world of the PTB.

"So what's up with our golden friends, huh?" Vicky asked, totally un-shocked by Misto's impromptu disappearance and reappearance.

"Something's going to happen, but they wouldn't tell me what." Misto said.

"That's nice and incredibly vague."

Across town, a nondescript Pum (aka-- Insert any extra's name here) is running for his life from a mysterious leather-clad figure. The Pum manages to inch into a side alley just as we hear the motor coming ever closer...... and closer....... and closer..... and closer....... and---

Bomb: Any time now, Kel!

Kel: ... and closer.... and closer.....

Jelly: What? Is this guy walking?

When the fearsome hunter *finally* shows up in visual range, we see that he has come chasing this creature in his brand spankin' new Pink Barbie Hotwheels Car. He comes to a screetching halt, (okay.. screetching may be too good a word... how about 'Jumps out and stands infront of the thing until it putters into his legs and stalls'?).

"Come back here you Pum scum!" the dark figure yelled down the road. "Don't make me come down there and run you down!"

"With what? Your pretty-'n-pink convertable?" the Pum yelled daringly back.

A cute little chase scene insues, which I will admit could get sorta dull, (aka-- Pum: "You'll never take me alive!" Hunter: "Start running or I'll mow you down!" Car:*splutter* *bang* *put-put*... on and on and on and on). So for your sanity sake, we'll just shift back to the action in the office where Vicky and Misto are doing basically the same thing they did at the park-- hangin' and waiting around once again for their imaginary clients to call.

"I miss Skimble." Vicky wined.

"You can say that again."

"I miss Skimble."

Cori: You have to have better jokes than that!

Kel: Well, 'Angel' is in re-runs now and there's nothing new to parody! Until then, I'll just keep reaching into the bin of old washed up comedy and bad jokes.

Tugger: Someone get on the phone to the network and have them air those new episodes or things could get really ugly here!!

On cue, the doorbell rings, (when did we get a doorbell?) and in walks a fresh plot device!

Tumble: I can't say I've ever been called that before....

It is the aforementioned chased-by-a-guy-in-a-pink-hotwheels-car Pum. He has come in seach of help.

"You've gotta help me! I'm being chased by a guy in a pink hotwheels car!" The Pum explained and then noticed they were totally un-shocked. "Although if you were just listening to the omnipotent author voice, you already knew that...."

Vicky and Misto nodded in unison.

"SO? Will you help?" the Pum said exasperated.

"Who?" Misto had been zoning.

"The Girlscouts of America!" the Pum said sarcastically.

"They need our help?" Vicky looked up.

"I was being sarcastic."

"Can I still be Vicky?"

Cats: Ugh...

"Listen to me. I haven't done anything wrong! I'm innocent in all of this." the Pum pleaded.

Tanti: Liar.

Kel: Will you please? I am trying to have a plot here.

Tanti: So-rry.

To proove he was normal, (wait.. no one's normal here. I guess to proove he just liked such things) the Pum even took the time to sing for them.

(to the tune of "Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer")

I'm...

Rudy the cockeyed Peke Cat!

With a rather large problem.

This hunter guy's comin' for me

I never did a thing to him!

All of the other Peke Cats

Are dead cuz he got them all too

I never knew till that time

He was an insane-o fool!

Vicky: Someone stop him... PLEASE!

Tugger: (shoves a pillow in Tumble's mouth) There.

Tumble: Mmmph-um.

They agree to help him since anyone willing to go through a song and dance number is trustable.

Bomb: I don't think that's a word.

Kel: Do I look like I'm caring?

Misto heads out like the big strapping hero guy that he is, to track down the Pum hunter. After awhile he tracks the hunter to their new friend Rudy's appartment. There's some spooky near-miss stuff, (aka-- Bats flying around causing Misto to scream like a woman.

Misto: (squealing) I DO NOT SCREAM LIKE A WOMAN! (pauses to hear himself) Never mind.

He eventually turns down a dark hallway and there are some obligatory B-Horror Movie sounds, (squeaking doors, rattling windows, howling wind...). He is just about to the end when he is jumped and pinned to the floor by...

"Alonzo?" Misto said as the light passed over his attacker's face. "You're the big scary hunter?"

"Misto... never thought I'd see you again. How smashing." Alonzo, the former Brit stuff shirt of Junkyard greeted the Pollicle.

Alonzo: Hey I saw this guy! He's a major wimp! He got beat up and tossed around by half the bad guys on the series.

Kel: Wesley was cool! And guess what? He's a regular on this show now, so get used to it!

Alonzo: Wha--? NO! PLEASE DON'T!!!

Kel: heh heh heh...

"I'm a rogue Pum hunter now," he said in a self-important tone.

"Since when?" Misto said, eyebrows raised.

"Since... since.. *cough and speeds up* I-was-kicked-off-the-watcher's-council."

Trying not to laugh, Misto said. "I can't imagine why."

"Hey! Sore spot still. Watch it!" Alonzo said defensively. "Let's just say someone drank the last of the Earl Grey and I got blamed for it!"

Misto looked 'shocked'. "Who would do such a horrible thing?"

Alonzo looked at him with annoyance. "Don't patronize me."

After this brief bit of catching up on old times, Misto and Alonzo headed back to his investigation offices to find Vicky missing.

"No! That Rudy must have been a no-goodski after all!" Alonzo deduced.

"Brilliant Sherlock. Now are you going to help me here or sit around and make 'startling' deductions?" Misto groaned and poked around in search of some clues.

Cut to a shot of the clock's hands doing that neat little spinny thing that they do when you---

Cetera: AHHHHH!!! It's Y2K!! The clocks! The clocks!

-- WANT TO SHOW TIME PASSING!

Cet: Oh. Do I have egg on my face now.

Dem: No.

Cet: That wasn't a question.

Dem: Sounded like one.

Cet: It's an expression.

Misto: An expression of what?

Kel: Alright.. I'M the one calling a break now. I have to go make some Christmas-ey stuff. You know, cookies.... pie... egg nog...

Tugger: Egg Nog! Oooh.. (sing-song voice) Kel's gettin' dru-unk! Kel's gettin' dru-unk!

Kel: You know you're only teasing because you want some. 'Sides, I'm underage and can't drink it anyhoo. I can only try the straight stuff. The adults have that bowl over there. (points) The carton from the local market is mine. No liquor, No rum...

Misto: No fun... *hiccup*

Kel: MISTO! Did you just?

Misto: (nods) The adults weren't paying much attention so I figured they wouldn't miss a cup... or two... or seven....

Kel: AURGH!

Misto: (lolling on the floor) *Hic* It was.. *Hic* gooo-oooo-oood! *HIC!* (hits the floor with a bang)

Kel: Now that our lead is boozed up, looks like we'll HAVE TO take a break.