Tugger: (hanging out on the steps) Cool New Years party.

Cori: Yeah, Kel. A board game and ginger ale. You're really partying like it's 1999.

Kel: Sarcasm accomplished is nothing, Cor. 'Sides which, Dick Clark can be a fun way to pass the time.

Munku: Yeah, and when the world explodes, it'll be fun not watching he who is the world's oldest teenager.

Kel: Anyways, I figured with this free three or so hours before midnight we could do something constructive like parody stuff.

Plato: 'Constructive' my--

Kel: Yes?

Plato: Never mind.

Last check, Alonzo had joined the LA bunch in the absence of Skimble, Vicky had been kidnapped by a Pum guy named Rudy because of a side-plot we have yet to touch base on, and Misto and Alonzo were searching for clues as to why she was kidnapped. As Misto searched the place diligently for any clues, Alonzo was busy self-fladulating himself for letting this happen.

Munku: Kel, I hate to be picky, but knowing what 'this' is could help us out immensely here.

Kel: Oh... well when Skimble kissed Vicky right before he died, he gave her his ability to see the future and all manner of bad stuff.

Misto: Would have been nice if this had been maybe, you know... MENTIONED IN ANY WAY BEFORE NOW!

Kel: I am sensing negative emotions on the last day of the millenium. Very bad.

Misto: I am not being negative! I am positive that you should have mentioned this before now!

"In case you were wondering, this is me searching for a clue. Feel free to join in at any time." Misto said rather put off by his string of rotten luck as of late.

"I'm a fraud. I am scum. I let my former love get kidnapped by a badly dressed Pum-guy." Alonzo was verbally assaulting himself, (duh) while Misto leaned over to unfold a crumpled sheet of paper. "I am the scum that scum laughs at! I am the ridiculed scum's scum. I am--"

"An ugly, gray blobby thing." Misto said as he stared at the paper.

"--An ugly, gray, blobby.. Huh?" Alonzo looked up. "Thanks for helping a guy feel better."

"No. Vicky drew this thing from her last vision-- WHICH NO ONE MENTIONED EITHER!" Misto stared at the author for a moment and continued. "I recognise it since I have that aforementioned knowledge of this kind of mystical voodoo stuff."

"Handy skill." Alonzo piped up. He then thought for a moment and replied. "You know, I was hunting a pum once who looked pretty beat up. He was missing his tail and he said before death by extreme tail loss-- 'J'kloop *sucking sound* foo'.

"J'kloop *gaging sound* foo?"

"No. J'kloop *sucking sound* foo."

Lec: This is the most intelligent conversation I've ever heard.

In classic plot-twist fashion though, neither of our voo-doo experts knew what this thing meant in common English. Misto decided to go surf the net for some info while Alonzo went back to kicking himself for being such a lousy hunter guy.

Cetera: Wow, Lonz. I didn't know you were that flexible!

Jelly: Kicking oneself in the buttocks takes great flexibility. Bravo!

Tugger: (not amused) Yeah, you're quite the ladies' tom now Lonzo.

Mac: Quite the hit at parties.

Kel: FIGUREATIVELY??!!!! Sheesh. First the pine tree suff, now--

Quick cut to a dark room where Vicky is tied up along with any number of weird and rare artifacts. Our friend Rudy turns out to be a rather sick fellow who likes to strip paranormal guys of their special powers and sell them for insane fees. She sits up and hears Rudy coming in to take stock on his collection. With an inventory clipboard in hand, he breaks into a grand chorus line dance number with the stock guys.

(to the tune of "Supercalifragilisticexpiallydocious"-- what? You thought I could spell it? Dream on..)

Tumble:

Because I was a geeky guy when I was just a lad,

My mother gave me anything that I ever wished I had

But then one day I learned a trade that saved my social life!

We auction off some body parts for overcharg-ed fees! WHEE!

Tumble & Other Background Cats:

We have...

Horns and spleens and hearts and organs all ripe for the picking!

Some funky incandescent fluids make you feel like puking

If people all bid high enough we'll roll 'round in the money!

Thanks to a collection of these really icky thinggys!

Lec: And the amazing part? If you sing all those words fast enough, you don't have to worry about if they rhyme or not.

Kel: That was the basic plan.

Vicky, nearly driven crazy by the singing and subsequent kickline, is about to break down when they haul her off to the auction block. Meanwhile, back at Misto's appartment he and Alonzo are having a less than productive session of researching obscure pum phrases.

Cori: The diplomatic way of saying they haven't found diddly, huh?

Kel: Yes, and in a more PG-rated dialect thank you very much!

"Roughly translated, J'kloop *sucking sound* foo means 'Caller Sale'." Alonzo poked his head out from the pages of his Pum translation dictionary.

"Caller Sale. Great.. that helps us oh so much." Misto groaned and continued his internet search.

After some more thinking and otherwise wracking his brain, Alonzo convieniently remembers so that we can keep this thing moving along at something resembling a pace. "Oh course! It means 'auction'!"

Tugger: Very convienient indeed.

Kel: Don't question dumb luck.

Lec: And a carefully laid plot device.

Kel: Exactly.

They also happen upon the way-cool factoid that the 'ugly gray blobby thing' in Vicky's dream is a distinguishing feature at one of the premiere hotels that (surprise! surprise!) also happens to be hosting a auction that weekend.

Meanwhile across town, the bidding begins on Vicky's eyes, (who knew the eyes of a seer were worth more than the whole lot of Princess Di's stuff, 'eh?).

"1,000... do I hear 2,000? 3,000!" Rudy takes the bids from behind his way-cool podium thinggy while Vicky struggles to free herself.

"C'mon! Is that the best you can do? These eyes are flawless! And that's not even considering cateracts!" Vicky mocked the bidders in an effort to 'buy' herself some time.

(Cats groan at the icky pun)

Cori: Uh, did I miss something about the 'despiratly trying to free herself' part of this?

Just as the bids are skyrocketing, a representitive from the law firm Cheat 'Em & Howe (remember those guys?) bids over everyone else to buy Vicky and her eyes, which she wants extracted.

"Hey! Ow. I'm sorta gonna need those things!"

"Eh, you won't! Don't worry about it. Now hold still."

Just then, Misto and Alonzo come racing into the room to rescue Vicky. Well, actually Misto comes leaping into the room, Alonzo sorta slides in and slams into the wall.

Misto: Stealthy.

Alonzo: Just shut up and help me onto me feet again, 'k?

They have some fun smacking and dodging and rolling around, (boys! tsk.) until Alonzo *somehow* manages to free Vicky. Just as Rudy is about to dust our main character, Vicky stabs the guy in the back with a blowhorn and he melts into the floorboards.

"I'm melting... melting!" Rudy screamed. "Oh what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you would destroy my beaut---"

Misto: Wrong show, moron.

Tugger: Yeah. Just die already!

He melts away into nothingness and in celebration, they sing a happy carefree song...

(to the tune of "Ding-Dong, The Witch is Dead" from The Wizard of Oz)

All:

Ding-dong the pum is dead!

Which old pum?

The melted pum!

Ding-dong that icky guy is dead!

He's gone where the network execs live and grow...

Below, below yo-ho!

Soon he'll be in another show!

So don't feel bad

Cuz next year at premier time,

Queens:

You'll see him high!

Tom:

See him low!

All:

That's right!

Next year he'll be in a brand-new show!

Tugger: The sad part is that all that is the case on network TV nowadays.

Kel: Ah, the recycling of Hollywood wanna-be's. How comfortingly predictable.

Misto: So can we go ring in the New Year now? It's almost midnight.

Kel: Hang on. Just one more little detail to wrap up....

After singing and dusting the big baddy, the three return to Misto's appartment.

"Well, I'll be off now." Alonzo said and headed for the door.

"Where are you heading?" Vicky asked, even though she could really care less, but thought she's be nice about the whole thing.

"Rogue Pum Hunters rarely ever know where they're going."

"Wow. You're so brave. Oh, I meant to ask-- What's a rogue pum?"

Cet: They're gonna drop the ball REAL soon now, guys!!!!

Vicky: Great! Let's go see it!

Kel: HOLD IT! WE'RE FINISHING THIS THING NOW!!!!

Cats: But the ball---

Kel: We still have five minutes! C'mon!

Alonzo heads for the door and looks back expectantly.

"So off I go.." *heads for the door and comes back in once more.* "No rest for the wicked fighters."

"Okay! Take care!"

Alonzo heads for the door and does the above several more times before Misto finally gives in. "You wanna stay for awhile?"

"Well, I couldn't impo-- Alright!" Alonzo comes in and makes himself comfortable on the couch and setting us up for a new 'Misto' eppie next time.

Kel: ...2 ....1.. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Misto: WHAT??? We missed it??

Kel: Oh, yeah. I went in to watch it and left you guys here. Ever so sorry.

Three Cats: *whimper*

Kel: You know, they say that whatever you're doing when the clock strikes midnight on New Year's is what you are destined to do all year long.

Cats: But we were parody--- NOOOOOO!!!!!!

Kel: Look at it this way-- You'll be with the one you love all year long. ME!

Cats: (run for the living room in panic) AHHHHHHH!!!

Kel: hee hee!