Munku: *sighs heavilly* Another Veroni obsession turns parody... I seriously fear for her mental stability at this point.

Veroni: What's that?

Pounce: Related to sanity.

Veroni: Ah! Well that ceased to exist LONG before now.

Misto: And I'm the baddie? Wait.... You never let me play the bad guy.

Veroni: Untrue! You played Angelus in Mooky's 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' parody.

Misto: Yeah, but I turned into a good guy again. It's refreshing to play someone who we know will burn in the warm place for all eternity.

Tugger: Cleansing to the palate?

Misto: After all the sugary-coated goodie two-shoes I've played? Duh, yes!

Veroni: Hush up! The overture's started!

The curtain rises on a meadow, (okay, a cardboard set with a schlocky paint job, but live with it, 'k?). A fierce battle rages until our hero, King Munkurthor runs his sword through the leader of the attackers, causing the remaining ones standing to turn tail and flee.

"Hail to the King! Hail to the King!" Munkurthor's loyal subjects shouted and raced out after him.

After a moment, three nondescript toms appear and stare out at the audience. They are faking that a great carriage has pulled up and the princess within has fled into the woods, (aka-- Staring straight ahead into space).

Misto: More than slightly Titanic Parody-esque, eh?

They race off to find the princess and the stage is once again vacant until a youthful tom dashes out and hangs from the limb of a tree, footloose and fancy free. As he bums around...

Munku: My bum is on the limb... My bum is on the limb...

Veroni: Will you please keep it together?

His mentor and druid buddy Deuterlin arrives to scold the young king for his behavior and running off from his duty to marry a young queen so that the kingdom will remain unified, (doesn't rate high in the Zaggut's Guide of reasons for marriage, I know, but that's the way they did things back then so we're going to have to deal with it!).

"Your highness..."

Quaxo: A term which takes on a double meaning when one is up in a tree..

"Your majesty," Deuterlin tried again to subdue hecklers. "You are the king! You cannot be swinging from limb to limb like some barbarian when there are many more pressing matters at hand, such as the fact that I will be ascending to the Heavyside Layer to be locked away for all eternity with a very beautiful feline nymph known as Vickue..."

"EH! You've been threatening that for ages!" Munkurthur scoffed and hung upside down from the limb.

Munku: The King is a young guy barely past puberty? Gee, no wonder the kingdom went belly-up.

Veroni: For your information, Arthur was a fine ruler who was betrayed by a forbidden love and an unfaithful wife.

Jenny: Sure! Blame the girl!

Lec: It *was* her fault.

Jenny: Don't help.

"What will your people think of you?" Deuterlin tried once more before throwing in the towel and heading off stage.

(the backstage cats throw towels at Old D as he exits and Veroni just shakes her head and makes a grab for the asprin)

In response to his mentor's chastisement, he sings to the audience about why he is out in the forrest instead of off doing his kingly stuff...

Munku:

I know what my people are thinking tonight

As home to the Junkyard they wander.

Everyone's smiling in secret delight as they stare at the tire and ponder.

Whenever the wind blows this way,

You can almost hear everyone say---

"I wonder what the King is doing tonight?

What merriment is the king pursuing tonight?

The Jellicle moon is shining bright..

Jellicle cats come out--

Veroni: Something tells me you KNOW that's the wrong song!

Munku: Can't blame a cat for trying to spice up a song a bit.

Veroni: I'd appreciate it bland and spice-less if you don't mind.

Munku: Party poop.

(continues)

How goes the final hour as he sees the bridal bower?

Is he anywhere near something like prepared?

Well I'll tell you what the King is doing tonight!

He's scared!

He's scared!

You mean that a tom who faced a Pollicle,

Slashed him to bits 'til he called uncle

Goes to be wed in terror and distress?

Tugger: Guess it's better than that dress.

Cats: ?????

Tugger: Dis (this) dress as opposed to dat (that) dress?

Veroni: I got it and left it and now--- I'm MOVING ON!

Munkurthur finishes just as our other main character arrives. Jenaviere has fled from her marriage to an awful tyrant of a King, (now who could THAT be?). She kneels in prayer.

Jenny:

St. Genevive!

St. Genevive!

It's Jenaviere! Remember me?

You know how faithful and devout I am

You must admit I've always been a lamb.

(backstage cats start to bleat and Jenny glares at them)

But Genevive!

St. Genevive!

I won't obey you anymore!

You've gone a bit too far!

I won't be bid and bargained for like beads at a Bazar.

Jem: I don't know about Bazar, but I know this thing is turning BIZARRE fast.

Veroni: Did I ask for any side commentary, huh?

Figuring that she's not going to get through her prayer without more interruptions, Jenaviere cuts to the chase.

(sings)

Where are the simple joys of Jelliclehood?

Where are all those adoring, daring Toms?

Where's that guy pining soul for me?

Misto: Uh, Jen? What are you doing with the pine tree?

Lec: I don't hear any soul music!

Veroni: Okay, okay, I know... double pun and not a very good one, so let's just keep this up and we'll drive away all our readers, right guys?

Tugger: One can dream, V.

Anyhoo, she finishes singing and is about to go merrilly on her way when the prop tree that Munkurthur was hiding behind gives way at long last and before you can say 'Union Pay' he is sprawled about on the floor. She screams and prepares to leave, but he introduces himself (leaving out the part about being the King as that would tend to make her want to take off his head).

"I'm.. uh, Wart."

Dem: What the--?

Veroni: Okay, okay, I'll explain. Sheesh! Don't you guys ever read your Arthurian legend?

(Cats look at her as if she is insane)

Veroni: Guess not. Um.. wart was the nickname Merlin gave to Arthur.

Munku: Ah good. Cuz I was gettin' worried about my character's mental health.

"That's a peculiar name-- but I'm not in the mood to carry this scene much more than the next song and speeding away, so cutting to the chase now--- You wanna run away with me to some place that's REALLY far away?" Jenaviere said and started tugging her new friend off stage. Just as they are about to make a clean getaway though, the three clueless toms from earlier arrive and address 'Wart' as the king--- effectivly blowing the whistle on the whole operation.

Cori: Way to go you guys.

Tumble, Plato, Admetus: Sorry 'bout that there.

She feels kinda betrayed, (well, wouldn't you?) and tries to run away. Thinking quickly though, Munkurthur wins her over with a good old fashioned song.

Munku:

A law was made a distant moon ago here

July and August cannot be too hot!

And there's a legal limit to the snow here

In Catsalot.

The winter is forbidden to December

And exit's mark the second on the dot

By order, Summer lingers through September

In Catsalot.

Cet: If she is believing all of this, girls back then were more gullable than I thought.

Jen: Watch it, missy!

Munku:

Catsalot!

Catsalot!

I know it gives a person pause.

Lec: Already got those.

Veroni: PAUSE! Not paws--- never mind. Let's just cut to the next scene, huh?

The two are smitten with each other now, (don't ask me why, but lets just say they are for the sake of this thing moving at something resembling a pace). As they run off, Deuterlin appears again and is thrilled that his young charge has found love. He doesn't have much time to think about it though, for Vickue appears to take him away just then..

Vic:

Far from day, far from night

Out of time, out of sight

In between, Earth and Sea

We shall fly.

Follow me...

Dry the rain, warm the snow

Where the winds never go

Follow me...

Follow me...

Follow me...

"I think I told Munkurthur everything. Hang a second..." pulls out a list labeled THINGS TO TELL THE KING BEFORE VANISHING FOR ALL ETERNITY and quickly sees something he convieniently missed, (well, otherwise we wouldn't have much of a story now would we?).

"I have to find Munkurthur and tell him about Tugsalot and Jenavere! Be right back!" he called to the mystical nymph.

"Oh no you don't!" Vickue grabbed him by his large robe and dragged him off into the Heavyside Layer. As they leave, we hear some squabbling linked with mairital bliss.. "What is it with you men and your excuses anyway, huh?"

"Excuses?"

"YEAH! You won't even pull the horse over to the road to ask for directions! It's just-- plunge on through the moat, charge the castle and make a big spectacle of yourself!"

"But pumpkin! I just had to do one more thing!"

"Don't pumpkin me! You are coming and we are NOT TRACKING MUD ONTO THE CARPETS AGAIN, ARE WE NOW???!!!!"

Jelly: Wow. Victoria plays an even better wench of a wife than me in 'Furball on the Roof'.

Vic: Really? Thank you Jelly!!

Misto: Not something to be proud of, Vic.

Jelly and Vic: HEY!

In favor of keeping up the aforementioned pace, we'll skip ahead to the entrance of our next vital character. During the skip over, Munkurthur and his new wife have decided to make a grand union between all the kingdoms and to bring them all together on a *gasp* Round Table. Representitives are on there way, and that's where our next character enters to a grand fanfare.......(LONG silence) A GRAND fanfare!

(Victoria grabs her kazoo from 'Furball on the Roof' and plays a traditional fanfare... you know, DA DA-DA-DA!!)

Tugger:

A knight of the table round should be invincible!

Succeed where a less fantastic Tom would fail!

Climb a wall no one else can climb!

Cleave a Pollicle in record time!

Walk around in a coat of heavy iron mail.

Lec: He walks around with postage due?

Veroni: Not that kind of mail, you-- Someone explain it to her so that Tugger can keep going here!

Tugger:

But where in the world is there in the world

A Tom so untouched and pure?

C'est Moi!

Lec: Great! Let's lump French in here too and really confuse the heck out of the kittens!

Veroni: Rough translation--- Tis I, (or in layman's terms: It's me!)

Tugger:

C'est Moi!

C'est Moi!

I blush to disclose,

I'm far too noble to lie!

That Tom in whom these qualities bloom

C'est Moi!

C'est Moi!

Tis I!

I've never strayed from all I believe

I'm blessed with an iron will!

Had I been made the parter of Eve,

We'd be in Eden still!

Dem: O-kee. I'm blowing the whistle on this thing RIGHT NOW!

Veroni: Why? Don't think it fits Tugger?

Dem: NO! It fits him TOO well! I'm just warning you that overmasaging that cat's ego can proove to be---

Tugger: Clear the way! Here comes his greatness! One side! His Royal Tugger-ness desires a break.

Dem:--- trouble.

Veroni: Tugger! SNAP OUT OF IT!

Tugger: You dare to speak to the most incredible tom in such a fashion? Piffle!

(prances off to the snack bar singing)

C'est Moi!

C'est Moi!

I'm forced to admit

'Tis I' I humble reply.

That mortal who these marvels can do...

C'est Moi!

C'est Moi!

TIS I!!!!

Veroni: Good Lord, what have I done?