(When we last left off, Horace Bustogelder was going to go to New York to march in a big parade, and unknown to him, his two clerks, Cornelius Munkl and Barnaby Tugger, were going too, so they can see the big city. Now we go to Grizzy counselling our young couple in love, Mistambrose and Etcengarde...)

GRIZ: Now the first thing to do is make you financially independent. I know! I'll find you a job. Can you dance?

MISTO: CAN I DANCE?! I only do that dance that no one else in the junkyard is able to do without injuring themselves!

MATT: Misto...ever tried reading a good book? Like the script to this show, maybe? Your character is supposed to be a crummy dancer!

MISTO: Oh all right...(back in character) I'm an artist, Mrs. Levi! I paint!

GRIZ: (handing out a card) Well then, my card!

MISTO: (reading the card) Mrs. Grizzy Levi, Painters Taught How To Dance.

VICKY: Although Misto doesn't need the lessons, much like myself! (lifts her leg so that it's parallel to her body)

GRIZ: Now I'm going to give you a note to Skimbolph Reisenweber, the head waiter at the Harmonia Gardens Restaurant on Fourteenth Street and have you both entered in the polka contest tonight! The prize is a week's engagement and a solid brass water dish. Believe me, lots of marriages have started on less.

MISTO: I'm sorry, Mrs. Levi, but no fiancee of mine is going to set foot in a...in a pleasure palace!

TUGGER: Translation--he's sick of doing elaborate dance numbers in these parodies just because he's the best male dancer out of all of us.

(Etcengarde screams)

MISTO: Etcetera, don't stand so close to me next time you do that!

GUS: ACK! I know! Since I got this hearing aid, I got an earful of that one!

TUGGER: (sings) Don't stand so...don't stand so...don't stand so close to me...

MATT: TUGGER! Can it with the 80's music references and let's get on with the show!

GRIZ: And what's wrong with pleasure, Mr. Kemper? My late husband, Gussaim Levi, believed in hard work, oh yes, but not without a few good times in between! Why, every Saturday night, from the first day we were married, down those red stairs at the Harmonia Gardens, we came and danced the night away! It's been ten years since I've been back but I can hear that music still!

LEC: Does that mean Griz has lost her marbles again? Hearing music in her head?

JULIE: NO, she's in character! GRIZ IS NOT INSANE!

GRIZ: Thanks, honey!

GUS: I'm hearing music too...did they play Ozzy Osbourne at the Harmonia Gardens?

MISTO: Nope. Sounds like that hearing aid of yours is picking up radio signals.

MATT: GUYS?! It's called "getting on with the parody so I can write the next one"! Look into it!

MUNKU: "NEXT ONE"?! Eep.

MISTO: (back in character) It's all very well to hear music, Mrs. Levi, but working there...

(Etcengarde shrieks again)

GUS: Volume down, please!

CET: Sorry 'bout that.

GRIZ: It's the only way to show Horace Bustogelder that we mean business! Now you go to the Harmonia Gardens this afternoon and say that Mrs. Levi sent you and incidentally tell Skimbolph that Grizzy's coming back and I want a table for two and a chicken for eight o'clock tonight!

MAC: (grabbing Munkustrap by the scruff of his neck) I got your chicken right here!

MUNKU: I AM NOT A CHICKEN!

MAC: Oh puh-lease! Getting Alonzo to fight for you? You WUSS!

MUNKU: I'll show you how much of a wuss I am... (the two start going at it until the Rumpus Cat grabbed Macavity and Old Deuteronomy held back Munkustrap)

MAC: This ISN'T over!

MUNKU: You'll get yours. (slides back into the open startrap)

(We go back to Barnaby and Cornelius's part of the set. Barnaby is looking down the startrap.)

TUGGER: The bottom row looks all right, Cornelius. Now hold the candle under the ones on top! Not too close, they're swelled up like they're ready to bust!

(there is a loud explosion)

DEM: MACAVITY!

MAC: I didn't do THAT! That explosion was in the script!

TUGGER: (still in character) Holy cabooses! Cornelius, I can smell it up here!

MUNKU: (slides out of the startrap, blowing a candle out) Let's get dressed, Barnaby, we're going to New York!

(three more explosions are heard, Barnaby shuts the startrap, and Cornelius sings)

MUNKU: Out there, there's a world outside of Yonkers

Way out there beyound this hick town, Barnaby

There's a slick town, Barnaby, out there

Full of shine and full of sparkle

Close your eyes and see it glisten, Barnaby

Listen, Barnaby...

(five more explosions are heard, Cornelius opens the startrap a bit, and smoke comes out.)

GUS: Holy cow, we're getting bombed!

JELLY: Relax, Gus, it's just the special effects.

MISTO: (wiping his brow after making said explosions) Thank me later.

MATT: Great. Just great. Gus's hearing is perfect, but now he thinks he's living through the battle of Iwo Jima!

MUNKU: MAY I FINISH MY SONG, PLEASE?!

(gets back into character and sings)

Put on your Sunday clothes, there's lots of world out there

Get out the Brilliantine and dime cigars

We're gonna find adventure in the evening air

Queens in white, in a perfumed night

Where the lights are bright as the stars

Put on your Sunday clothes, we're gonna ride through town

In one of those new horse-drawn open cars...

POUNCE: For back then, that is...

MUNKU AND TUGGER: We'll see the shows

At Delmonico's

And we'll close the town in a whirl

And we won't come home until we've kissed a girl!

JULIE: I'm having a very hard time believing these words coming out of the Tugger's mouth!

(they go up to a platform and put their suits and hats. The lights then go up on Grizzy as she helps get Etcengarde into her outfit and teaches Mistambrose how to dance...all simultaneously.)

GRIZ: Put on your Sunday clothes when you feel down and out

Strut down the street and have your picture took

Dressed like a dream your spirits seem to turn about

GRIZ AND MISTO: That Sunday shine

Is a certain sign

That you feel as fine as you look

(Etcengarde screams yet again)

GRIZ AND MISTO: Beneath your parasol the world is all a smile

That makes you feel brand new down to your claws

GRIZ, MISTO, MUNKU AND TUGGER: Get out your feathers

Your patent leathers

Your beads and buckles and bows

For there's no blue Monday in your Sunday clothes!

(The set opens, and it's gone from the feed store to the Yonkers Railroad Station.)

MISTO: It's always do this, do that, zap the set open, bring Old Deuteronomy back...

MAC: You should be thanking me for keeping you employed!

MUNKU: (running across on the runway like a living cyclone) Come on, Barnaby! We're going to New York! Elevated trains, Barnaby! The lights of Broadway!

TUGGER: Holy cabooses!

MUNKU: The stuffed whale at Barnum's Museum!

TUGGER: Wow!

MUNKU: Come on!

(The other cats all enter two by two in their 1890's Sunday best, grumbling all the while...)

ALL: Put on your Sunday clothes when you feel down and out

Strut down the street and have your picture took

MATT: I'm not FEELING it! SMILE! SMILE!

ALL: Dressed like a dream your spirits seem to turn about

That Sunday shine is a certain sign

That you feel as fine as you look,

Beneath your parasol the world is all a smile

That makes you feel brand new down to your claws

MATT: More energy! MORE!

ALL: Get out your feathers, your patent leathers

Your beads and buckles and bows

For there's no blue Monday in your Sunday clothes!

Beneath your bowler brim the world's a simple song

A lovely lilt that makes you tilt your nose

MATT: Come on, kitties! Do this like you mean it! Alonzo, you're out of step!

ALL: Get out your slickers, your flannel knickers, your red suspenders and hose

For there's no blue Monday in your Sunday clothes!

(Grizzy and Etcengarde ride in on a cart pushed by Mistambrose)

GRIZ: Etcengarde, stop snivelling, don't cry on the valises! We haven't missed the train, thank the Everlasting Cat!

(Mistambrose does a flying leap)

POUNCE: And I want to do a flying leap...OUT OF HERE!

GRIZ: (still in character) Lovely, you're improving. Now get all eleven pieces. We're seven minutes late.

(Asparagus Jr. runs offstage for a brief second, blows into a wooden train whistle, then runs back on.)

GRIZ: ALL ABOARD!

ALL: ALL ABOARD! ALL ABOARD! ALL ABOARD! ALL ABOARD!

(A cardboard train comes on the set, pushed by several of Cassandra's relatives)

SKIMBLE: It had to be that way. If we built the junk train again, we wouldn't have enough cats for this number.

MISTO: Lucky us. *rolls his eyes*

ALL: Put on your Sunday clothes, there's lots of world out there

Put on your silk cravat and patent shoes

We're gonna find adventure in the evening air

To town we'll trot to a smokey spot

Where the queens are hot as a fuse!

Put on your silk high hat and at the turned up cuff

We'll wear a hand made grey suede buttoned glove

We'll join the Astors at Tony Pastor's

And this I'm positive of

That we won't come home

That we won't come home

No we won't come home until we fall in LOVE!

(everyone collapses)

VERONI: (sneaks in and makes the HTML change, shutting the lights off)

GUS: (from the stage) I get my hearing back just in time to go blind. WONDERFUL.