Munku: I knew it wouldn’t be too long before Veroni got her paws on us to do this show.

Skimble: Well, I guess we should be flattered. It’s run for 12 years!

Jemima: Uh, better put on happy faces you guys... here she comes!

Veroni: (humming with Les Miz T-shirt, the Complete Symphonic Recording and holding souvenir program from Les Miserables) Hi! Guess what? I just saw Les Miserables!

Lectra: We couldn’t tell.

Veroni: (pulls off headset) What was that ‘Lec?

Lectra: Oh, nothing important....

Veroni: I have a whole bunch of ideas! Let’s go!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

----Prologue: 1815 Toolong----

SCENE 1

We see a row of chained cats march out, led by constables and Police Chief Skavert...

Skimble: Why am I the bad guy?

Veroni: Everyone’s been complaining lately, so I’ve switched a few roles so that we get a fresh spin on things.

Skimble: Yippee.

Convict 10-10-321, Munkjean is given a yellow ticket-of-leave and kicked out into the cold cruel world. He is treated as a criminal by the world and can’t even find a place to rest the night. Finally he is given shelter by the Bishop Plato of Dinky, who let’s him stay the night...

Munku:

He let me eat my fill, I had the lion’s share.

The silver in my hand cost twice what I had earned.

And when the house was still, I got up in the night...

Took the silver... took my flight!!!!

Munku: Is this whole show sung?

Veroni: Yep. That makes it even better!

Munku: It does?.... I mean, “It does!!”

Munku is caught by the constables and brought back to the Bishop Plato.... He lies to save Munkjean from a life in chains and gives his two silver candlesticks to boot.

Plato: (to Munkjean)

You forgot I gave these also.

Would you leave the best behind?

So messieurs, you may release him,

For this cat has spoken true.....

Munkjean goes on his way, but has been softened by the kindness of the Bishop and resolves to start his life over again by breaking his parole and running away...

Munku:

Jean Munkjean is nothing now!

ANOTHER STORY MUST BEGIN-NN--NNN!

Jemi: Nice vibrato!

----1823, Montrial-fur-Mer----

SCENE 2

It is eight years later, and we see the poor of the town gathered outside a factory....

Poor:

You’ve got to pay your way

At the end of the day!

We are now inside the factory and we see a poor struggling woman named Fantilorum, I’ll give you two guesses as to who that is and one of ‘em doesn’t count...). She drops a letter that is quickly snatched up by a Factory Kitty.

Victoria: And what have we here, little innocent sister?

C’mon Fantilorum! Let’s have all the news....(reads the letter)

“Dear Fani you must send us more money. Jemette needs a doctor, there’s no time to loose!”

Trying to reach the letter, the two get into a brawl and are pulled apart by the Factory Owner, (who is Munkjean-- just in case you’re not a Miz fan... although I can’t think of any reason why you would read this fic if you weren’t!). The foreman dismisses her because she has an illegitimate child....

Other Cats: BUT HE HAS ANOTHER MOTIVE!!

Veroni: Thank-you, but I was getting to that!

But he also lets her go because she has refused his advances on her time and again. Desperate, Fantilorum--

Jelly: (as if you didn’t know it was her!)

I dreamed a dream in time gone by!

When hope was high and life worth living.

I dreamed that love would never die!

I dreamed that the Everlasting Cat would be forgiving!

Lectra: How much longer are you going to let her keep going?

Veroni: Well, typically someone has something witty or otherwise to say by about the third line.....

Tugger: Hey! Whaddya mean, “or otherwise”?

Veroni: Moving right along....

Jelly: Now life has killed the dream I dreamed......

SCENE 3

The next exchange could blow even a PG rating to bits, so for the sake of you younger kitties out there, we’ll just say that Fanti gets sick.

Cetera: And all you Miz experts out there know that she really gets ill when she has se--

Tanti: (claps paw over Cet’s mouth) Shhh! You’ve already ruined a ‘G’ rating during Ragtime!

Veroni: I owe you one, Tanti.

Tanti: I’ll remember you said that, Veroni...

Suddenly a runaway cart comes barreling down the street and a young tom is trapped underneath......

Cori: HELP!!!

Munku: Is there anyone here who will rescue the man? Who will help to shoulder the weight of the ca--

Munku: Uh, Cori. You’re supposed to be struggling in extreme agony! Not scratching at a flea!

Cori: (drops hand back down from his ear and begins writhing in agony and screaming) Ohhhh! OHHHH!

The onlookers watch in wonder as the Mayor shoves the cart off the tom who is still screaming....

Veroni: (emits a somewhat louder than normal whisper) Pssst... Cori it’s off you, now! You can stop the screaming.

Cori: (still yelling) I WOULD IF HE WEREN’T STANDING ON MY PAW!!!!!

Munku: (quickly moves) Sorry, buddy.

Cori: (holding his paw limply) Don’t buddy me! I’m calling my lawyer.

Veroni: Someone tend to Coricopat! Give him whatever he wants, but don’t let him leave *or* call his lawyer!

Vicky: Got it boss!

Veroni: Boss? She must be up to something.....

Skimble:

Can this be true? I don’t believe what I see.

A cat your age to be as strong as you are...?

A memory stirs--

Griz: MEMORY! All alone in the moonlight!

Veroni: Not *that* memory, Griz!

Skimble:

You make me think of a cat from years ago....

A cat who broke his parole... He disappeared!

To cut short a long singing section... Skimbert reveals that he has arrested the real Munkjean and tells the Mayor that he was wrong to accuse him... Munkjean cannot bear to see another cat go to trial in his place so he reveals that he is the real Munkjean...

Munku:

Who am I?

10-10-321!!!!

He runs out of the courtroom to find Fantilorum.....

SCENE 4

We are now at the hospital where Fantilorum is dreaming feverishly about her little girl Jemette.

Jelly:

Come to me,

Jemette, the light is fading.

Don’t you see the evening star appearing?

Come to me and rest against my shoulder.

How fast the minutes fly away and every minute colder.....

Munkjean arrives and promises to take care of Fantilorum’s little kitten for her. She dies happily and in strolls Skimbert to break up the sentimental moment and arrest Munkjean.

Munku:

Believe of me what you will

There is a duty that I’ve sworn to do.

You know nothing of my life!

Skimble:

Cats like me can never change!

Cats like you can never change!

No. 10-10-321!

Misto: Alright this 10-10-321 joke has gone a bit far don’t you think?

Jenny: (finishing off the advertisement)... then dial 1 and the number as usual for discounts on long distance phone services!

Veroni: This commercial break is over! Can we *please* get back to the story?

The two get into a fight and Munkjean knocks out Skimbert and runs out to find Jemette.

SCENE 5

We are now at the inn in Montfermeil where Little Jemette is working as a skivvy for the Tugiers. She dreams about a castle in the clouds....

Jemi: You’ve forgotten a small detail, Veroni. Little Cosette is a little girl. I can’t play both the little girl and the grown up version!

Veroni: Ooops! Ahhh.... Alright, no need to panic! You can play the little version on your knees.

Jemi: Excuse me? This’ll look really corny!

Veroni: And Cats in dirty tattered costumes from Les Miz isn’t?

Jemi: Well what am I supposed to do when she’s kneeling?

Veroni: Sit and cross your legs.

Jemi: (on her knees)

There is a Castle on a Cloud

I like to go there in my sleep.

Aren’t any floors for m--

Bomb: JEMETTE!!!

Jemi: Oh no it’s her! It’s Madame!

Bomb: (enters) Now look who’s here!

The little Madame herself

Pretending once again she’s been so awfully good!

Lectronine! Come out here! Lectronine you look very well in that little blue hat!

Lectra: Does this mean I’m gonna have to get on my knees like Jemi?

Veroni: (nods)

Lectronine runs out to her mommy and soon the ‘Master of the House’ appears.

Misto: Now there’s a song cue!

Tugger: You’re messing up my big moment! (clears throat)

Master of the House! Keeper of the zoo!

Ready to relive ‘em of a sou or two!

Chorus:

Master of the House!

Quick ‘ta catch ‘yer eye!

Never was a passer-by to pass him by!

At the end of this lovely little interlude, Munkjean walks in with Little Jemette who was sent out to get water at the well. He motions for her to kneel and warm herself by the fire.

Jemi: You couldn't resist could you? I knew that I couldn’t get through this scene without having to sit at least once!

Munku:

I found her wandering in the wood, this little kitten.

I found her trembling in the shadows.

While Munkjean bargains for Jemette’s release into his custody, she shuffles about hauling logs to the fire all the while still sitting on her hindquarters with her legs crossed.

Munku:

Here’s your price! Fifteen hundred for your sacrifice!

Jemette yelps, not because she is relieved to be leaving, but she has managed to pick up a splinter in her rear end..... Scooping her up, Munkjean carries her out into the dark.

Jemi: Tweezers anyone?

Jelly: Come here Jemima. I’ll take care of that.

Veroni: I guess this would be a good time for a quick break? Hello?

(the Cats have all scattered at the mention of the word ‘break’)

Veroni: Oh well. I guess I have time to plan out the next part......

(the only answer is a yelp from the corner)

Jelly: I think I almost got it now.

Jemi: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Jelly: Yep. That was it.