Veroni: Are we all ready? Oh, Jem... how’s that eh-- butt cut coming along?

Jemi: Very funny. You should give up this fic writing and begin a full time career in comedy.

Pounce: (stifling a giggle) Actually Jem, that *was* sorta clever!

Jemi: Wait until you have to get on your knees to play a little kid!

Pounce: Well, lucky for me you and ‘Lec had all the kid parts...

Veroni: Well Pounce, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. There *is* another part--it’s for a little boy and it’s coming up right now and I don’t have anyone else who could do it---

Munku: Or who would to do it...

Veroni: (to Munku) I heard that! (back to Pounce) Anyway, to make a long story short, it turns out you’re going to be in this thing too, so thanks for agreeing, (rushes off).

Pounce: Agree? What? Hey! You come back---

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

----1832, the squalid, beggar-filled streets of Paris-----

SCENE 6

Nine years later we are in the damp and disease filled section of Paris... known as the slums.

Begging Cats:

Look down and see the beggars at your feet

Look down and show some mercy if you can!

Veroni: You’re on, Pounce!

Pounce: But I hardly know my part!

Veroni: (shoves a script in his hand) Use this! Now hurry it up!

Pounce: Hey! This says I have to be on my knees!

Jemi: Serves you right, Pounce!

The crowd parts and the young urchin Pouroche is seen among the filthy group.... He is holding a copy of the script in his paws as he drags himself to the front all the while on his knees.

Pounce: (barely holding a tune, not to mention the melody or the words)

‘Ow do you do?

My name’s Pouroche!

These are my---- people, ‘ere’s my patch!

Not much to look at not much.... er... nothin’ posh!

Nothing that you call up to scratch! (smiles at the cat connection, but in the process looses his place)

Mmmm... my....eh... Mmm... my high society

Here in the slums of Saint Michele!

I.... yi-yi!

Pounce: Let’s just say I finished that, alright?

The beggars cut back in.....

Begging Cats:

Look down and show some mercy if you can

Look down, look down upon your fellow man.

Revolutionary Students Mungolras and Mistarius show up in the crowd attempting to whip up support for their cause. Tugier has since lost his inn and has a street gang, and as they come out we see his daughter, Lectronine, (who is by now grown up and off her knees) rush over to Mistarius......

Misto:

Hey, Lectronine! What’s up today?

I haven’t seen you much about!

Lectra:

‘Ere ‘ya can always catch me in!

Misto:

Mind the police don’t catch you out!

Lectra: (has dropped the singing in favor of moving the plot faster by cutting to the chase--- much to this author’s dismay). Hey, books! Cool! (grabs one and holds it upside down--but still pretends that she’s reading)

Misto: (turns the book rightside up) This might help.

Lectra: Oh. Oops, well....

(picks up the singing again) Don’t judge a kitten on how she looks! I know a lot of things, I do!

While this exchange was going on, Tugier and his gang prepare to attack an approaching well-dressed Tom and his daughter, (and if you don’t know who the Tom and the daughter are.... you aren’t even trying to follow the plot!).

Bomb:

‘Ere’s the old boy. Stay on the job and watch out for the law!

Lec: (to Misto)

You’ll be in trouble here!

It’s not your concern!

You’ll be in the clear!

She pushes away Mistarius-- right into an oncoming Jemette (who is just in case you were wondering, an adult now too, and can get off her knees). The two stare at each other and Lectronine is stunned.

Jemi: Hey Pounce! This means you’re the only one left on your knees! (giggles gleefully).

Pounce: Aurgh!!

In the meantime, while we watched our love triangle develop right before our eyes, Tugier and his gang are working over Munkjean. Tugier rips open Munkjean’s shirt and sees a tattoo upon his chest.

Tugier:

10-10-321?

Before any cat can think of something witty to say about long-distance services again... Lectronine breaks in to save our sanity--

Lectra:

It’s the police! Disappear!

Run for it-- it’s Skimbert!

Skimble:

Another brawl in the square!

Another stink in the air!

Was there a witness to this?

Well, let him speak to Skimbert!

M’sieur, the streets are not safe,

But let these vermin beware,

We’ll see (breaks off singing)---- hey! Where’d that guy go?

As you can imagine, as soon as Munkjean recognized Skimbert he got out of there as fast as he could..... Some time later we see Mist-

Skimble: Hey! S’cuse me, but I have a really big number there! If I have to be the bad guy I at least want my song!

Veroni: Go on....

Skimble:

I will never rest!

‘Till then, this I swear!

This I swear by.....

THE STA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-ARS!!!!!!!!

Veroni: Feel better?

Skimble: Much.

Anyway, we see Mistarius in search of Jemette and when he finds Lectronine he begs her to help him. Even though she is in love with him, she reluctantly agrees.

SCENE 7

The revolutionary students are at their special place--- XYZ Café. Misto wanders in quite late as they discuss their plans. To sum up their beliefs in a nut-shell.... they feel that government has forgotten about the common cat and feel that upon the death of General Deutemark, (he’s ill, okay?) who is the only one left who cares anything for the common cat, there will be an uprising of all oppressed cats. But as I was saying-- Misto enters late.

Mungo:

Mistarius! Yer late!

Plato:

What’s wrong today? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost!

Alonzo: (in his best drunken voice)

Some wine and say what’s going on. (hiccups)

Veroni: Nice job with that fake drunkenness, Lonzo! Lonzo? Eh, Plato... what’s Lonzo doing?

Plato: (Sniffs the bottle) Looks like Alonzo here believes in method acting. This is the real thing!

Veroni: And let me guess---he’s passed out on the floor?

Plato: Yuppers.

Veroni: Well, just work around him for the time being---and GET RID OF THE WINE! I told you all to use fruit juice!

The students are goading Mistarius when suddenly Pouroche rushes in. He promptly trips and falls over the now-speed-bump known as Alonzo. Pouroche picks himself up and delivers the news....

Pounce: (still with the script) Hello? Listen to me! General Deutemark is red--- er... hold on, the lighting is really bad over here. (moves over to the lamp) DEAD! That’s what he is! General Deutemark is dead!

With this news, the students throw their revolution into full gear and race out into the streets, (with the exception of Alonzo, who has to be carried out by Admetus and Asparagus).

All:

Do you hear the Felines sing?

Singing the song of angry toms?

It is the music of a breed who will not be slaves again!

When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of the drums,

There is a life about to start....

WHE-E-N TOMORROW CO-O-O-MES!

During this patriotic demonstration Mistarius scoots away with Lectronine, who has found where Jemette lives.....

SCENE 8

We are at Munkjean’s garden in the Rue Plummet where Jemette is (what a coincidence!) thinking about the young tom she ran into, (literally) in the streets....

Jemi:

In my life

I’m no longer alone

Now the love of my life

is so near

Find me now, find me here!

A head pops up from over the wall that Jemette doesn’t notice...

Lectra: (who is acting a stool for Misto so that he can see over the wall) Ouch! Misto this is really doing a number on my spine!

Vicky: I know a good Chiropractor!

Misto:

In my life

She has burst like the music of angels'

The light of the sun!

And my life seems to stop as if something is over

And something has scarcely begun!

Lectronine, you’re the friend who has brought me here.

Thanks to you I-----yipes!

The two topple over and Jemette hears a sickening thud outside the garden. She rushes over to the gate and brings in Mistarius....

Jemi: Are you alright my love?

Misto: Yeah. Lectronine broke my fall.

(we hear moaning off stage)

Misto:

A heart full of light.

Jemi:

A night bright as day!

Misto:

And you must never go away.

Jemette! Jemette!

Jemi:

This is a chain we’ll never break.

Misto:

Do I dream?

Jemi:

I’m awake!

Lectronine: (who hobbles over to the fence and presses against it)

He was never mine to loose

Why regret what could not be?

These are words he’ll never say

Not to me

Not to me

NOT FOR ME!!!

(the song ends and nothing happens)

Lectra: Hello? I’m supposed to have someone to sing with here!

Veroni: Just a second... since we’re running out of background cats and Alonzo is out of commission, I had to have the ones who play the students change costumes to play the gang.

Admetus, Asparagus, Tumblebrutus and Plato: We’re here! We’re here!

Lectra:

Ahem....

NOT FOR ME!!!!

(Tumble slips in)

‘Parnasse! What are ya doin’ out here without any pants?

Tumble: I'll be right back... (turns about 7 shades of red)

Tumble: (zips up his fly)

This house, we’re gonna do it

Rich man, plenty of scratch!

The gang shows up and Lectronine panics. Mistarius will think she set him up... and that doesn’t help much in swooning the cat of your dreams. She screams to stop them and they rush off. Marius and Lectronine rush away so that they won’t be spotted....

Munku:

By the Everlasting Cat, Jemette!

I heard a cry in the dark!

I heard the shout of angry voices in the street!

(aside) Must be Skimbert!

He’s found my cover at last!

I’ve gotta get Jemette away before they return!

Now for the really famous number to end the first act.....

Tugger: Dare I even dream? The end is in sight?

Veroni: The end of the FIRST act, Tugger!

Tugger: Oh, darn it!

Veroni: Quit complaining and get in that trap door. Wait for your cue. You too, Bomby!

Munku:

One day more!

Another day another destiny!

This never ending road to calvary!

These men who seem to know my crime

Will surely come a second time...

One day more.

Misto:

I did not live until today...

How can I live when we are parted?

Misto/Jemi:

Tomorrow you’ll be worlds away!

And yet with you my world has farted.....

Veroni: STARTED! STARTED!

Misto/Jemi:

....started!

The two lovers part and Lectronine pulls Mistarius off the stage. Skimbert enters and pretends to join the rebel cause. Suddenly the students arrive and start their march for freedom. Tugier and his charming wife pop up through a trap door in the floor which is right in front of the marching crowd....

Bomb/Tugger:

Watch ‘em run amuck!

Catch ‘em as they fall!

Never know yer luck when there’s

a free-for-all!

Students:

One day to a new beginning!

Raise the flag of freedom high!

Every man will be a king!

Every man will be a king!

Our big expensive turntable starts spinning, with help from some stage cats who are turning a crank as hard as they can....

Tantomile: For the last time! We can’t afford automation!

There is lots of overlapping here, so we’ll give you snippets of what everyone is singing.

Misto:

My place is here!

I fight with you!

Munku:

ONE DAY MORE!!!!

Lectra:

One more day all on my own!

One more day with him not caring!

Skimble:

One more day to revolution!

We will nip it in the bud!

Tugger/Bomb:

Watch ‘em run amuck!

Catch ‘em as they fall!

Munku:

ONE DAY MORE!!!

All:

Tomorrow we’ll discover what The Everlasting Cat in the Heavyside Layer has in store!

One more dawn!

One more day!

ONE..... DAAAAY.... MOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!!!!!!!

During this last “One Day More” refrain, Tugger leaned backwards and Mungo felt it would be neat to swing his arm with the rifle in it forewords. The two collided and Mungo’s rifle went flying into the audience after it had made solid contact with Tugger’s skull.... This collision disrupted the beat and the cats in the background tripped, knocking over Tumblebrutus who was giving Pounce a piggy-back ride. Pounce fell backwards into Plato, who was swinging the flag around and before you know it there’s a mass of cats on the floor under the flag. To add to this chaos, the backstage cats learned a very important lesson in momentum.... once you’ve been spinning a said object, (such as a turntable) for a prolonged period of time, it will pick up steam and will soon become the hardest thing in the world to slow down. So... to make a long story short, the collapsed cats are now spinning out of control on the runaway turntable and Tantomile is spinning wildly on the crank, holding on for dear life.....

Veroni: I think now would be a good time for a break....

All Cats: AAAAYYYYIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tantomile: SOOOOMEONNNNNNE CAAAAAALLLLLL MYYYYYYY LAWWWWWYYYER!!!!!!!!!