MISTO: Me? Not dance? Pfft!

(The sound of a stunt plane roars from the darkness during the overture and as the lights come up, we see Stunt Pilot Munk Kelly laying facedown on the floor. He slowly gets to his feet, a raffle ticket in paw. The ticket is good for----)

POUNCE: A trip to the looney bin?

VERONI: (hisses)

TUMBLE: (behind his paw) Nah, that would be for Veroni.

(AHEM.. The ticket is good for three weeks. As he speaks, the music takes on a haunting sway.)

MUNKU: (staring upwards) Alright. I understand. I have three weeks. THREE WEEKS!! (runs off)

(Dancers in white scamper across the stage, sprinkling sand on the floor, transforming the scene to the beach at Atlantic City, 1933. One-time celebrity Vicita Racine appears, waiting for her marathon dance partner. She is preparing to enter the grand dance marathon... one of MANY she has participated in. Needless to say, she is getting slightly sick of them.)

TUGGER: (speaking into a trashcan to sound like he's on the radio) LUUUUUKE I AAAAMMMM YOUR FAAATHER.....

VERONI: SAY IT RIGHT!!!

TUGGER: All marathon dancers sign up now at the Steel Paw! Sign up now!

MUNKU: (appears next to Victoria) Excuse me, Miss. Do you have a partner yet?

VICKY: Do I? Oh, you should see who I'm dancing with!

MUNKU: Oh, I thought you would. Afterall, you're Lindy's Lovebird!

VICKY: You remember?

TUGGER: Last call for those without partners to register! Last call!

MUNKU: Well, I have to go. I don't have a partner yet!

VICKY: Good luck, flytom! You'll never know who's waiting for you.

TUGGER: With as good-looking as I am, you think MUNKUSTRAP is fly? I'm hurt!

VERONI: NOT the slang definition! He actually flies a plane.

TUGGER: Oh. Well, in that case.... no big.

(As the mysterious stranger heads off, Vicita muses about this one last marathon. She's determined to go home after this.)

VICKY: Twelve Ocean Drive, right by the shore

Not many rooms, it only has four.

But for now....

(sighs) Another marathon.

Another dead on my feet.

Another time-clock to beat.

Bruise on my shin, despirate to win.

Just like it's always been!

JEMI: Sounds like the end of most every Jellicle Ball....

VICKY: (hisses and continues) Twelve Ocean Drive, right by the shore

Is the palace I've been longing for

One last marathon!

ONE LAST MARATHON!

Just one MOOOOOORE!!

Here I go again

I can hear the merry-go-round

And though I never cared much for the sound

I'm willing to ride!

There's the ferris wheel

A miracle, that circle of steel

It's funny how nervous it's making me feel---

POUNCE: Nervous wasn't exactly the word that came to my mind....

TUMBLE: More like nausious.

(The scene shifts to the entrance of the Steel Paw)

VICKY: (grabs up her suitcase) But now must be now

And then must be then.

I've struck out before

And I couldn't forget if I tried!

But I'm up to bat again,

Tossing my hat again

HERE I GO AGAIN!

WILLING TO RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!!!! (runs off as the dance floor set rolls into place)

VERONI: Lexie, cue the dance couples! (long pause) LEXIIIEEE!!

LEXIE: Sorry, sorry! They're on their yaw!

VERONI: (shakes her head) Way, Lexie. Way.

LEXIE: Way what?

CASSANDRA, JEMI, EXOTICA: (singing, in matching dresses on a podium) Life's a party!

Why don't you come to the Steel Paw?

No one's ever gloomy or glum at the Steel Paw!

(spoken) Ladies and Gentlemen, your marathon dance host, Mick Tuggleton!

TUGGER: (pops on with a big fake grin plastered on his face) LIVE!! From the glorius Marine Ballroom on the world famous Steel Paw! It's the 1933 Atlantic City Dance Marathon! Coming to you tonight and every night on the W.F.P.G. You know, folks, I've run marathons from Catalina to Kalamazoo and never have I seen a dance floor filled with more confindent couples! Each couple certain that they can outlast the others and claim that pot of gold worth $2,000! In just a few moments, this glorious marathon will get underway! And suddenly, everyone's earthly cares and woes will vanish into ether as our boys and girls do what the smart set does to pass the time...

CATS: (snoring)

TUGGER: (panting) Old D should have had this part.

VERONI: We needed an attractive MC---

OLD D: HEY!!

VERONI: -- that could also play a convincing lowlife scum.

OLD D: Oh. Whew. Well, that would fit Tugger to a T.

TUGGER: (growls) I refuse to go on now!

VERONI: You'll sing or else.

TUGGER: Or else WHAT?

MUNKU: I'll tell Jenny what you said about Queens while we were in the dressing room.

TUGGER: (sings in earnest) When you feel the world is sitting on your shoulders,

DANCE!

When your troubles feel as big as ten ton boulders,

DANCE!

Dance your blues off,

Tap bad news off,

Shag your shoes off--- (bursts into laughter) You DO know the Brittish meaning for that word, don't you? (continues laughing)

VERONI: Gutter brain.

TUGGER: (shrugs and continues singing, a laugh quaking in his voice)

And worries waltz away!

When you feel an anger deep inside that smolders,

TUGGER & GIRLS: DANCE! DANCE!

Dance, Mister!

Dance, Sister!

Come on! Everybody dance!

TUGGER: (grabs the mike and wades into the crowd of dancers) That's right boys! Give it some SASS!

ADMETUS: (dancing a steamy little number with Etcetera) Hey!! Take a look at this!! Brand new step!

GUS: (storms over) All right, separate. You can Bunny Hug, but you can't Grizzly Bear.

ADMETUS: But this is how we get a sponsor!

GUS: This is how we get shut down!

(Mick introduces our other important characters--- Misty Adel and his partner, Demra Foster---- brother and sister team Tantette and Cuddy Becker)

ALL: WHEN YOU FEEL THE WORLD IS SITTING ON YOUR SHOULDERS---

VICKY: (bumps into Munkustrap) Oh! It's you again!

MUNKU: Still waiting for your partner?

VICKY: Yes, but I'm sure he'll be here any minute. But thanks for asking!

TUGGER: (coughs) Re-jected.

MUNKU: Laugh it up, Tugger! You're just jealous that I got a good part and you got stuck with whatever Old Deuteronomy didn't want!

TUGGER: (growls)

MUNKU: (hisses)

VERONI: Alright, boys. Enough Testosterone for one musical.

ALL: (dancing at a hot, frenzied pitch) WHEN YOU FEEL AN ANGER DEEP INSIDE THAT SMOLDERS

DANCE! DANCE!

DANCE, MISTER!

DANCE, SISTER!

COME ON......

EVERYBODY DANCE!

EVERYBODY DANCE!

(Vicita is forced to take on Munk as her partner when her prearranged one doesn't show up. They start dancing together, well, more like her dragging him around the floor since he has two left paws---)

MUNKU: I resent that! I can dance!

MAC: What was this about Munkustrap and two left paws? I like this show already.

MUNKU: And where exactly have YOU been?

MAC: Somewhere.

MUNKU: You shouldn't have come.

MAC: Is that a thread, tabby?

VERONI: (rushes in) Macavity! Whew! I'm so glad to see you! (grabs him by the mane and drags him off) I have a part I need someone to fill for me....

MUNKU: (grinning, watches them leave) Not a threat. Just a general disclaimer.

(sings) Second chance. Whoever gets to have a second chance?

Whoever gets another turn at bat? Tell me that.

VICKY: Okay, playtime is over. We're here to win. Now, follow me and make a box.

MUNKU: (trips on his tail) A box?

VICKY: (shaking her head) This is called a box step. Look up! But keep making the box! (he trips and lands on his butt) Oh, this is going to be worse than I thought...

MAC: (from the wardrobe room) Actually, it's pretty darn funny. Do keep going! This is better than torturing someone with the iron maiden!

VERONI: (cringes) SO didn't need to hear that.

MUNKU: (sings) One more try. Whoever gets to get another try?

Whoever gets to sing the big reprise?

Tell me, please.

VICKY: Remember to BREATHE.

(They circle by different couples, Vicita trying to make sure he doesn't crash into anyone)

MUNKU: (sings) Once you're down, you're down they say.

Once you're out, you're out to stay.

No one tells you you can get right up

And you can start all over

With a second chance!

Whever life has gone from bad to worse

You've got to run your movie in reverse.

Re-rehearse.

Soon that curse will disperse,

But first you've got to GEEEEEET... (steps on her paw)

VICKY: MRRRRRROOOOWWWWRRR!!!!!

MUNKU: (shrugs) A second chaaaance!!!

VERONI: Break time!

VICKY: You're tellin' me.

VERONI: Huh?

VICKY: He stepped on my PAW!!

VERONI: Munkustrap... you were supposed to MIME that.

MUNKU: (shrugs) Oooops.

VICKY: Yeah, "ooops" my achin' paw!

POUNCE: Literally.

VICKY: Beat it. Last thing I need is your lame sense of humor.

POUNCE: I wouldn't be calling someone ELSE lame, Vicky. That paw looks pretty bad.

TUMBLE: Definately a case where you're the kettle calling the pot stinky.

VERONI: Black.

TUMBLE: (shrugs) You've buttered your bread, Vicky! Now sleep in it!

VERONI: Eat it.

TUMBLE: You can't EAT a bed, Veroni. Even I know that!

VERONI: Why do I bother? Someone tell me why I bother!! (whimpers and bangs her head on the keyboard)