(The cats are all relaxing in the junkyard.)

TUMBLEBRUTUS: Ah, what a great day!

POUNCIVAL: You said it, buddy! Just to sit here and relax and...

(Matt enters with his crew)

MATT: ...do more parodies?

POUNCE: Yeah. Do more parodies...WHAT?!

MATT: You heard me. Besides, I've been putting this one off for too long.

(The other cats start to come around.)

MISTOFFOLEES: And what torturous selection are you putting us through this time?

MATT: Shock Treatment!

TUGGER: That's it, I'm outta here, I'm NOT getting shock therapy!

MATT: Relax, Tugger, that's just the name of the show.

CASSANDRA: I haven't even HEARD of this one.

MATT: That's because it went directly to movies. "Shock Treatment" is the sequel to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show".

TUGGER: So in other words, you want me to prance around in a gold Speedo again?

MATT: Nope, this is about Brad and Janet's adventures AFTER Rocky.

MISTO: But what about that large set for this parody we had to get rid of? Remember Macavity's lawsuit?

MATT: Well, I assumed you could zap us a new one.

MISTO: No problem. (does so)

BANDERSNATCH: One OTHER problem. Macavity was going to play Farley Flavors in this one. Who's going to do it now?

MATT: Well, I was just going to get to that. Munkustrap, a word please?

MUNKUSTRAP: OH NO. I'm not doing TWO parts! I'm already reprising the role of Brad in this one.

MATT: Please. Remember the deal we made with Vinnie?

MUNKU: Oh, all right.

SKIMBLESHANKS: At least now he'll know what I had to go through in "Jellicle & Hide"!

MUNKU: Are you SURE about this?

MATT: Munkustrap, think about what you're saying! You're an award-winner! Playing two parts shouldn't be a challenge! Besides, Bandersnatch can only take so much of Vinnie without strangling him.

MUNKU: That's as may be, but still... (Macavity walks in with Knuckles, Nunzio, Big Vito, Vinnie, and Monalisa in tow)...wait a minute, what's HE doing here?

VINNIE: Just seeing if Matt stuck to our deal.

MACAVITY: Plus, I want to see Munkustrap crash and burn playing a baddie.

MUNKU: It's nice to have so much support.

MAC: Besides, I figured I'd get paid SOMETHING by making an appearance in this parody. Vinnie really took me to the cleaners.

NUNZIO: Yeah, we had to pawn off five years of stolen merchandise!

KNUCKLES: There go our memories of the first half of the Reagan years.

BIG VITO: And it still wasn't enough! So Don Macavity had to make appearances for all the catnip and kitty toy product companies.

MAC: I'll NEVER be able to get away with ANYTHING now. THANKS, VINNIE!

(Vinnie innocently whistles and looks in the other direction)

SADIE: Can we do this already? Tuggsy-wuggsy has a cool song in this one and I want to hear him sing it!

BOMBALURINA: TUGGSY-WUGGSY?! Come back here...

MATT: AURGH...ACTION!

(We open with a tom with a head of long, black hair and a business suit with his back turned to the crowd. He is smoking a cigar. This is Munkley Flavors, the head of a fast food chain. A narrator describes the basic plot of the parody.)

ASPARAGUS JR.: Once upon a time

In a town not far from yours

There lived a real fast tom.

His life was fast. His friends were fast.

Even his food was fast.

BUSTOPHER: Fast food? ICK!

ASPARAGUS JR.: But he was still not satisfied.

POUNCE: Neither am I...until this parody ends!

BANDERSNATCH: Pouncival...do I have to tape your mouth shut again?

POUNCE: Eep.

ASPARAGUS JR: He wanted to share his fast philosophy with someone else--

A beautiful girl.

Trouble was, she was in the paws of another tom.

POUNCE: That's it? That's the narration?

MATT: Yup.

OLD DEUTERONOMY: Wait. You needed a narrator and picked Asparagus Jr. instead of me?

MATT: Well, that's more or less what happened.

OLD D: But why?

MATT: Well, you already have a substantial part in this one, and besides, Asparagus Jr. made it short and sweet, which keeps the rest of these goof-offs awake.

TUMBLE: Hey! We're not goof-offs!

MISTO: We just don't like to do much.

POUNCE: At least not for directors, anyway.

(We see a sign reading "CATTON, HOME OF HAPPINESS", which leads into a set with the word CATTON made up of big neon letters. This city of Catton is actually a giant TV studio. Various cats are getting ready for a production in the big CATTON sign, and a floor manager--also played by Asparagus Jr.--opens up a door near a sign saying "Welcome to CTV" and lets audience members in. Among the crowd are our heroes, Brad and Demnet Munkus.)

MAC: I think I'm gonna like this one.

MUNKU: Macavity, you are SO dead. You owe me for this.

POUNCE: Hey, he's stealing my line!

MUNKU: (quickly getting into character) What are we gonna do, Demnet?

DEMETER: It's all right, Brad, everything's gonna be alright.

SADIE: Hmm. How come Demeter didn't get to be Janet in "Rocky Tugger"?

MATT: For one thing, they switched actresses for Janet in the two movies. And besides, Jellylorum didn't want to be in this when she found out it was the sequel to "Rocky Tugger"...

JELLYLORUM: Dang straight!

MATT: ...and Bomb already has another part...so Demeter's playing this part.

(So anyway, the song begins...and there are various cats inside the CATTON sign. Leading off is Jemeely Pritt, who does a documentary series.)

JEMIMA: You'll find happy hearts and smiling faces

And tolerance for the ethnic races--in Catton.

MISTO: Smiling faces? GET REAL! More like frowning because we wish we were anywhere but here!

BUSTOPHER: (inside the neon 'A', trimming a rosebush) You'll find a rambling rose

And a picket fence

JENNYANYDOTS: (inside the 'C', operating a sewing machine) Tenderness and innocence

In Catton

TUMBLE: (dressed as a police cat, inside the first 'T', which looks like a police station with a jail cell door) You'll find conference rooms

And a childrens playground (locks cell door)

Catton is a real OK town (walks to the other 'T', which has a US flag and Ralph Hapskimble inside it)

SKIMBLE: What? I play dorky Ralph again?!

TUMBLE: (continuing) Civic pride and civic duty

And Catton girls are (wolf whistles to the best of his ability) full of beauty...

(Three cheerleaders--Victoria, Etcetera, and Electra--run to the front and do a cheer)

VICKY, CET, & LEC: You may call us the goodie goodie two shoes

We're here to cheer you with the good news

That C-A-T-T-O-N gets T-E-N

That's ten out of ten!

BANDERSNATCH: Why did you cast those three as the ditzy cheerleaders?

MATT: Because it's not too much of a stretch for them.

CET: HEY!

VICKY: We're not ditzy! (doesn't realize she said this while jumping up in the air, and lands in a split. Plato pulls her back up.)

(Back on stage, Ralph Hapskimble tries in vain to finish the song)

SKIMBLE: If you're looking for a life of leisure...

(His mistress, Bombacy Struthers comes on and joins him)

BOMB: You're gonna get a whole lot to please ya

SKIMBLE: Again and again

BOMB: And again and again

SKIMBLE & BOMB: And again!

TUGGER: Well, Bomb got a whole lot to please her last night! Again and again and again!

BOMB: ME-OW!

MATT: OH, JUST GET A ROOM!

ALL: (sing) Catton, Catton, you've got no pretention

You're where the heart is, you're OK!

Catton, Catton, I'd just like to mention

You're the home of youth

You're America's truth,

You're Catton, Catton USA!

JENNY: Yeah, the home of youth and America's truth in 1953!

TUGGER: I WISH it was 1953! Women would be in the kitchen and I'd be the only cat with this haircut!

JENNY: GET BACK HERE YOU...

MATT: JUST SING, JENNY!

JENNY: Sorry...

(sings)

This is the Mecca of America

BUSTOPHER: The Bethlehem of the West

JENNY: This is the birthplace of the virtuous

BUSTOPHER: The home of happiness

POUNCE: More like the home of insanity!

BANDERSNATCH: POUNCE!

MATT: Thanks, Bandersnatch, I was getting tired of yelling that.

BOMB: Leisure wise, we're sure you will adapt.

SKIMBLE: Enjoy your stay. Have a happy holiday.

VICKY, CET & LEC: And we'll all put Catton, Catton on the map

ALL: Catton, Catton, you've got no pretension

You're where the heart is, you're OK!

Catton, Catton, I'd just like to mention

You're the home of youth

You're America's truth

You're Catton, Catton USA!

Catton, Catton, you've got no pretension

You're where the heart is, you're OK!

Catton, Catton, I'd just like to mention

You're the acceptable face

Of the human race

You're Catton, Catton USA!!!

(We now go to Cassie Hapskimble and her guest, Judge Deutiver Wright, on the set of the show "Catton Dossier".)

CASS: Well, how about that? Wasn't that terrific?

POUNCE: Not really.

CASS: (hisses at Pounce and gets back into character) And now for, well, certainly my favorite part of the show and I sincerely hope yours at home, our regular in depth discussion with Judge Deutiver Wright, Catton's leading social scientist. Judge Wright?

OLD D: Mmhmm?

CASS: Did you enjoy our anthem?

OLD D: In a way.

POUNCE: Translation--he'd rather be untangling his fur.

BANDERSNATCH: Why you... (starts chasing after Pouncival)

CASS: I detect a note of reticence. Are you perhaps one of those amongst us who feel that emotive forms of presentations are overly manipulative?

POUNCE: (while trying to outrun Bandersnatch) I...*huff*...don't know about...*puff*...HIM, but...*huff*...I am! *PFFT!*

OLD D: Well, Cassie, there are many ways that the spider may catch the fly. There are monetary inducements.

MAC: Much like the one Vinnie charged me!

(While Deutiver's interview continues, Jemeely starts talking to Brad and Demnet in the crowd.)

JEM: Hi Brad, hi Demnet.

OLD D: Extortion

JEM: Come for the Marriage Maze?

OLD D: Seduction

JEM: I'm exhausted working on this documentary for Munkley's new show.

OLD D: Blackmail

JEM: Munkley Flavors, our new sponsor. Whew!

OLD D: Prejudice

JEM: I tell you, Demnet, that tom's as close as we'll come to a successful tom in this town.

OLD D: ...and lies.

CASS: Thank you, Judge Deutiver Wright. And now for a commercial break.