Author: Enough of this--we got a fic to do! And I called for pizza!

Where we left off last . . .

Author: Someone do a summary!

Demeter: Why?

Author: So that everyone would remember where we left off!

Tugger: What's the point? It's not like anyone cares--

Author: Shut it cute stuff and get into those leather pants I thought up for ya!

Bomb: Hands off! He's mine!

Etcetera: Mine!

Author: Arrgggggghh! Someone just do it! You!

Pounce: Who me?

Author: Yes you!

Pounce: 'kay . . . Ummm, anyone remember what happened?

Mac: Just so that we can get this over with . . . *sighs* . . . The bad guys, played for once by some cat other than me, got away from our heroine and are plotting, which is what bad guys do . . .

So Tugger and Bomba were plotting--and grumbling . . .

"Of all the places to meet the Slayer!" Tugger was complaining back in their secret warehouse hideout.

"She's a pain in our collective rears, Tugger baby--we have to get rid of her."

"I know that, my luscious little pumpkin--but how?"

"Oh we'll think of something--if it cause widespread death and destruction, all the better!"

"I like the way you think, ducks," Tugger said before they had--

All: Another PG Kodak Moment!

"Oh! I had a nasty thought!" Bomba said suddenly.

Demeter: You always had nasty thoughts, Bomb . . .

Bomb: Not those kinds of nasty thoughts!

"What, cupcake?"

"I can feel someone familiar in this miserable one Galaxybucks town!"

"Hon, you're being annoyingly vague again . . ."

"It's someone we know!" Bomba sang. "Someone very close!"

"Jack the Ripper?"

"Mistoffelees!"

Misto: I'm evil?

Mac: For once . . .

Author: Not really evil . . . read the script.

Misto: It doesn't make any difference, does it?

And in true cliched TV style, Mistoffelees showed up even though there was no way he could have known the location of their secret hideout. . .

Misto: Aka the author didn't have any other ideas about how to drag me into this scene.

"Mistoffelees?" Bomba asked.

"Like anyone else could that short," Tugger muttered.

Misto: Excuse me for a moment . . . (goes out and some loud bangs can be heard)

Author: What was that all about?

Misto: (comes back in) Sorry--shall we continue?

"Okay, I'm gonna make this brief--you can't stay in this town, get out before anyone gets hurt."

"Misto!" Tugger cried. "Is that any way to greet your old comrades-in-causing-Armageddon?

"No, actually I should be running you two out of town with a butane torch but I'm feeling nice today."

"What's gotten into you, man?"

"I could tell you!" Bomba hissed. "He's gone soft on us!"

Munku: "Butane torch" . . . "gone soft" . . . someone explain to me why that doesn't seem to click right?

Misto: Must I do this?

Author: Yes.
Misto starts singing.

(Sung to "Yesterday")
"Yesterday, life was such an easy game to play,

Death and the destruction were the order of the day,

But now my soul has come home to stay, oh I don't believe in yesterday . . ."

Tugger and Bomba join in . . .

"Did we say something wrong cuz we long for yesterday-yay-yay-yay . . .

Yesterday, life was an endless rampage . . .

Killing, maiming and things far too graphic to say--oh we believe in yesterday . . . "

"As this song is danger of getting mushy, we have to stop and get to the real reason why I'm not the no-good, shoebox-wearing baddie of old," Misto said. "You won't believe this . . . apparently I got my soul back--hey, I never knew I lost it--because some gypsies cursed me . . ."

"You're right, that story's got holes you can drive a truck through," Tuuger said disbelievingly.

"And I think I can sense something else . . . Mmmmm-hmmm, Misto's in love! Misto's in love!" Bomba sang before she snarled. "Misto's in love with the little goody-two-pawed Slayer!"

"Misto! Say it ain't so!"

"Sorry but I'm afraid it is so," Misto said and vanished.

"Look at all the sparkly lights!"

"Bomba honey-pie, we don't have time for you to go loopy right now . . . We need to get rid of one pesky Slayer and Misto!"

"Why Tuggy-baby? He's fun to have around . . ."

"Only if you're on catnip and love magic tricks--wait! You're on catnip again, aren't you?"

Bomba giggled. "I've been a bad, bad girl!"

"That explains the crazier than normal look . . . I told you not to touch that stuff!"

Bomba whined, "But it makes everything all pretty and clear!"

Munku: This is another PG part that we can't really talk about because the PG rating doesn't cover it. Pity, because we all have *a lot* to say . . .

Bomba: Don't blame us, blame the author! Though this has to be one of the most challenging roles so far . . .

Misto: Don't expect the Academy to start calling anytime soon . . .

"So tell me how to solve our little problem, luv . . ."

"Ooooo, I know! The Slayer doesn't know! The Slayer doesn't know!"

And then they shared an evil look--

Tugger: Which was redundant as everyone knows we're playing the baddies . . .

--which did not bode well for our heroine.

Alonzo: Hey author--can we take a break now?

Author: It is kind of late--but the pizza we called isn't here yet . . . We're soldering on until the pizza comes!

All: Darn!

Author: Places! Get in place for the big revelation scene!

Not trusting Tugger and Bomba--with very good reason--Misto hurried back to Electra's place to check on her.

Demeter: Anyone find it kind of creepy if a guy spies on a girl in her room at night?

Munku: Don't go there, Demi . . .

He found her climbing out of her bedroom window to avoid being noticed by her mother--who was still clueless after so long.

"Electra!"

"Misto?"

"I came to check if you're alright--"

"I'm fine--I'm going on patrol now, you can come along if you want . . ."

"I'm forgiven?"

"You're forgiven."

Electra: And that was the only sane conversation in this whole story!

But most patrol sessions normally ended up with the both of them staring uncomfortably at each other because they had uncommonly strong feelings for each other. Lately that had progressed to something else . . .

Alonzo: How does she make that sound so *ominous*?

Cut to Misto and Electra--tangling whiskers in the park.

"Misto?"

"Hmmm?"

"Aren't we supposed to be patrolling?"

"Oh yeah . . ." And they walked a few yards down the pavement.

"Nope, no monsters here . . ."

"Okay . . ." And they started smooching again.

All: Misto and Electra--sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I--

Misto and Electra: Shaddap!

Jelly: Scandalous!

"Ooooh this is so sweet!" someone called out sarcastically.

"Bomba!" Misto blurted out as they turned to face the tall red queen. "What are you doing here?"

"You know her?" Electra asked suspiciously.

"He's one of us, sweetie," Bomba said, grinning evily. "We used to have the most fun rampaging around the countryside a few centuries back . . ."

"Electra--"

"Misto--you have a shoebox too!?!"

"Electra, let me explain--"

But Electra had stormed off, hurt and ready for another bout of angst . . . Walking along a dark and lonely road, Electra sings to herself.

(Sung to "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia)
"Nothing's fine--I'm torn!

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel!

I'm cold and I am pained,

Somehow singing this stupid little song!

Illusions always fade into something horribly real,

I'm wide-awake and I can see my prefect guy is gone!

Curse this wretched fate--my patience's worn!"

"Geez, this town's getting to me," she muttered to herself, not noticing Tugger and his hench-Pollicles (aka interchangeable extras in shoeboxes again) sneaking up on her.

"Hi Slayer--bye, Slayer!"

And his hench-Pollicles attacked . . .

Author: Ahem! And his hench-Pollicles attacked!

Plato and Ademetus: We don't know how to hench!

Author: Doesn't anyone know how? Tumble?

Tumblebrutus: I don't know how!

Author: I thought you had experience! Mac! Show them how to hench properly!

Mac: 'kay . . . to hench properly you have to follow orders blindly, have the intelligence of a chair, the fighting skills of a lame worm and the aim of a storm trooper--i.e.: can't hit the broad side of the barn from two yards away.

Munku: Why does Star Wars always get mentioned?

Author: Cuz it's cool! Now on with the show!

And that might have been the end of the line for the Slayer but her friends and her Watcher showed up just in the nick of time to beat off the Pollicles. Tugger managed to escape by the leather of his pants.

Misto: How come the bad guys get away so often?

Bomba: We could ask the same of the good guys!

Tugger: Hey, it'll be a sad day in the junkyard if I ever lost to a queen--

Author: Put it this way . . . some people out there would *not* be happy if I made it so that you had an accident with, oh, say a large pipe organ . . .

Bomb: His loyal fan club . . .

Tugger: My loyal fan club!

Munku: Hey, we have fans too!

Author: Yes I know--and we don't have time for all this!

Alonzo: Where's the pizza?

Author: Maybe the delivery guy got lost . . . I'll go off and have a look around . . .
Demeter: She just went out--do you think we could--

Author: Hey, who fried the pizza delivery guy's bike!?!

Misto: Ummm . . .

All: Misto!