Author: Here we are again, with another exciting--

Misto: --as if--

Author: --episode of Electra the Pollicle Slayer.

Munkustrap: Thank you for stating the obvious. Now can we get these angsty bits over with?

Where we left Misto/Mistoffelees . . .

"Hmmm, so soul Boy's no more?" Tugger asked.

"Gone like last year's fashion," Misto declared and spun around in a lot of sparkles and lights. "It's good to be me again!"

"Ohh, pretty . . ."

"Don't do that, Misto--you know how that distracts her."

Misto leapt down and started singing:

You know I'm bad, I'm bad--you know it!

(Sung to Bad by Michael Jackson)

"Like the moonwalk?"

Author: You're enjoying this . . .

Misto: Am not!

Tugger: Are too--I can see the signs. (does the breathy Vader voice) Give in to the Dark Side, Misto!

Bomba: 'kay, the weekly SW reference has been done--now can we move on?

Author: We have to cut short the song and dance--this is getting too long.

"Yeah, yeah, smooth moves, Misto . . ."

"We're going to destroy the world as we know it--want to join us?" Bomba asked him.

"Sounds like fun--what do we do?"

"Simple . . . the Sludge's suppose to do it."

"Glop," went the Sludge.

"Hmmm . . . well it's not doing any thing much except sitting there--and going "glop" occasionally," Mistoffelees said sarcastically.

"It's *suppose* to grow bigger. We've got to feed it--"

"And water it and exercise it daily? It came with an instructions manual too?"

Misto: Oooo, just look at me go--I was never one for one-liners . . .

"Look, if you have a problem with the plan, can think up of another one?" Tugger asked even more sarcastically.

Tugger: Hey, I don't seem to like you in this fic, Misto . . .

Misto: Such a shame . . .

"No problems . . . and I can think of a way to feed it quickly and inexpensively. But first, I have to see to some other things . . .

"It's the Slayer--you want to hurt her," Bomba giggled insanely.

"Gotcha--you know me so well . . ."

Electra: I have a bad feeling about this . . .

Author: Clear the deck everyone--angst coming this way!

After the you-know-what-that-we-can'-talk-about-because-of-the-PG-rating, Electra went looking for Misto. After searching of the tiny town of Junkyard--which didn't take very long--she went back to his pad and found him there again.

"Misto--quit doing the disappearing act!" she exclaimed. "There are sometimes when a girl appreciates a phonecall--"

"Sorry, sweetie--I didn't want to stick around," Misto said, looking uncommonly good in leather pants.

"It meant nothing to you?"

"Could be honey--listen, I got to go, catch ya later . . ."

Electra was hurt, confused and puzzled by Misto's behavior. But he wasn't really Misto.

Misto: I wasn't?

Author: Lost your soul, remember? You're a demon now.

Misto: Oh well, at least I have the right name for it . . .

He had lost his soul and was one mean kitty. Electra wanted to confide to someone about it--but she couldn't go to her mom because her mom was still clueless about her Slayer activities. Her friends were too busy chasing each other and sorting out their feelings for each other. Pouncival was going out with Vicky in secret and Jemima had found a musician called Plato.

Jemima: I have a love life now?

Author: Yeah--

Jemima: With *Plato*?

Author: The strong quiet type--

Jemima: You're insane . . .

Author: And proud!

Munkustrap was also busy--he was learning from the computer teacher about how to surf the Net to find websites about boxes with Sludges that could bring about the end of the world as they knew it. And he was growing incredibly attracted to Miss Demi Calendar the computer teacher.

"Ah, Electra, you're finally here," the Librarian said when the Slayer came to the Library--aka Slayer headquarters.

"We were thinking about finding Pollicles--" Pounce joked. "You normally would find us just in time."

"If they are going to bring about the--"

"--end of the world yadda yadda--we *know* that. So what do we do?" Pounce asked.

"Stop them, duh," Vicky said from where she was doing her nails.

"Miss Calendar and I were surfing the Internet and we found a spell that might just work." Munkustrap handed them a list. "Now just go get all the ingredients so that we can start."

"Hey, we're errand kitties now?" Pounce asked indignantly. "What happened to Slayerette pride?"

"Well you *volunteered* to be Slayerettes," Munkustrap said calmly. "And we never had Slayerette pride. I think you need a parade for that."

"Phooey."

Bomba: Boy, that was a lame excuse for a plot-filler . . .

Author: I had too--just like how I'm going to do this next scene . . .

When they were out searching for ingredients, the Slayerettes saw the Pollicles coming out to play for the night.

"Isn't that Misto with them?" Jemima asked.

"Uh-oh, looks like Dead Boy's showing his true colors. We'd better tell Munkustrap now."

So back to the library they went to tell Watcher and Slayer about their former friend. And everyone looked at Electra for an explanation.

"Erm . . . he was acting kinda weird . . ."

But just then Miss Demi came in. "Ah-ha, I knew you guys were up to something . . . Looks like a spell--is witchcraft legal on campus?"

All: Busted . . .

"I know who you are--I mean, who else looks for websites on boxes that could bring about the end of the world as we know it."

"But--" Munkustrap began.

"I know you're a Watcher and she's a Slayer," Miss Demi continued, "cuz I'm a techno-pagan--"

Demi: Techno-pagan?

Author: Witchcraft and computers . . .

Demi: They mix? Ick, this is getting more and more ridiculous by the minute . . .

"And we've heard of you guys--fighting to save the world from evil--"

"Thank you--and good night Miss Techno-Pagan," Electra said firmly. "We have enough problems on our hands--"

"Hey, she knows--I mean, those who *know* either become Slayerettes or wind up dead," Pounce pointed out.

"Correct and by an amazing coincidence, I was just researching gypsy curses . . ."

All: Now that is a *coincidence*!

"very much like the one that your Pollicle friend had put on him. According to this text, the curse could be removed and the soul removed if he attains a state of perfect happiness . . ."

"And how did that happen?" Munkustrap asked suddenly.

"We . . ."

"You . . .? Oh no, you didn't!" the Librarian exclaimed.

"Er, we did . . ."

Alonzo: Y'know I'm wondering how long the author can keep this up while maintaining the PG rating . . .

Munku: Don't ask! It's bad enough having to go through all this torture!

"Confound it! Now we have more to worry about other than the end of the world as we know it!"

"'Kay, point taken. Now save the world first--yell at me later, please," Electra said grumpily.

Meanwhile, the villains were taking the Sludge out to be fed.

"So what's the great plan, Misto?"

"Mall food."

"Mall food?"

"Filling, easy to catch and there's a lot of it hanging around--we could get a snack ourselves."

"Great, let's take the ones at Galaxydollars--I feel like caffeine,"

"It's bad for health Tugger."

"Like when did you start caring?" Tugger asked, despite the fact that the whole argument was flawed because technically they weren't even alive.

Misto: In the fic, that is . . .

Author: They know that--now get on with it!

"Let's just feed the disgusting thing first . . ." And so the Pollicles raided the only Mall in town to feed the Sludge with all the kitties they could get hold of.

"Chaos is good," Mistoffelees said when the screaming started. "We should do this more often . . ."

"But the world as we know it is going to end," Tugger pointed out. Suddenly it didn't seem to be that great an idea anymore.

Tugger: Kinda late for a villain to have second thoughts yeah?

But the Pollicles' fun was terminated with one snappy line.

"Playtime is over." It was Electra and the Slayerettes, come to the Mall on the sensible deduction that it was the right place for Pollicles to attack. Using the spell cooked by up the Librarian and the techno-pagan (a mystical mix of Preparation-H, garlic and anti-freeze), they loaded up their super-soakers and battled the Sludge until it was no more.

"Okay, plan B--we make like bananas and split," Mistoffelees said and the Pollicles hi-tailed it out of there.

"Good triumphs again!" Pounce said. "It's good to be good--"

"Er, not really--Misto doesn't have a soul," Jemima said. "And I think Lecky might be rather sensitive to that right now . . ."

"Darn right she is," Electra snapped. "Now everyone's happy happy happy except me . . ."

And our heroine walked off into the sunset to sing a song.

Electra: Must I?

Author: Yes--I'll give you a cat-nip mouse if you're a good girl and just get it over with without whining for once.

Electra: I feel like I'm selling myself too cheaply . . . Mac got six boxes the last time . . .

Author: O-kay, who told her that?

Mac: (looks innocent)

I was afraid

I was petrified

Thinking I could never live without you by my side

And I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong

But I grew strong . . .

I really wanted my life to get along

I should have changed all the locks--

Even though that don't work with Pollicles

--if I had known that you'd be back to bother me

Now go--walk out the door

Just turn around now

Cuz you're not welcome anymore

Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with your lies?

Did you think I'd crumble?

Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Oh no . . .

Not I

I will survive (I will survive)

As long as I train hard enough I know I'll stay alive

I will survive

(I Will Survive by Dino/Fekaris/Fredrick/J. Perren)

Author: Beautiful!

Electra: You're just saying that . . .

Author: No, really . . .

Munku: Enough with the touchy-feely moment. We want our catnip break!