by Veronikitty
Kel: Veroni, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to. I REALLY didn't! I'm sorry!
Veroni: Oh we are WAY past sorry.
Munku: Whatcha gonna do to her?
Veroni: Why would you care?
Misto: We wanna watch!
Kel: She's conjured up the perfect punishment--- She's putting me in this thing too.
Cats: (look shocked) HORRORS!
Jemi: She should have just cut your head off.
Veroni: Nah. She's sorta family and mom would have been kinda ticked off.
Kel: You think?!
When we left off, Mistpont had been promoted to Vice President in charge of Advertising and Lecmary had been made his secretary. Just when we think everything is alright in romance world though, she decides to feel ignored again and plans to resign.
Cet: Nonsense! You've been threatening that all week!
Lec: This time, it's official. I left a letter of resignation on his desk. Wait till he reads it.
Jem: (nose in the script) Or doesn't.
Veroni: JEM! You're giving away the plot YET again.
Jem: (looks up innocently) Oh. I didn't know that was outloud.
Veroni: You're a terrible liar, y'know?
(Cet throws her paws up in the air and skips the rest of the dialogue in favor of the song)
Cet:
How often does it happen
That a secretary's boss
Wants to marry 'er?
Kittens: Hallelujah!
Cet:
How often does the dream come true
Without a sign of conflict
Or barrier?
Kittens: Hallelujah!
Cet:
Why treat the tom like he was a typhoid carrier?
How often can you fly
From this land of carbon paper
To the land of flower'd chintz?
Kittens: Hallelujah!
Cet:
How often does a Cinderella
Get a crack at the prince?
Kittens: Cinderella and the prince!
(There's a lot more song here that we'll skip in favor of moving the plot line ever onward)
Lec: ALRIGHT! I'll give him one last chance.
Kittens: Hallelujah!
Dem: Thank the Everlasting Cat that's over. I was getting bored singing the same thing over and
over and over and over....
Kel: Uh, Dem?
Dem: I mean, who writes this stuff? All we have to do is sing one stupid little---
Kel: DEM!
Dem: What?
Kel: That's the song that V has her solo stuff in.
Bomb: So you may want to stuff it.
Dem: Ah, good point. Wouldn't want to tick off our precious director.
Veroni: IT'S A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT!
(The scene changes and we are in Finch's new office. He's reading his book again about how to succeed in buisness...)
Old D: So you are now a vice president. You have climbed the ladder rung by painful rung until you have almost reached the top. You have done beautifully--- unless you're vice president in charge of advertising.
Cats: DUN-DUN-DUN!
Veroni: Guys? Old D's narrations are long enough WITHOUT the side commentary.
Cats: (still in unision) Good point. Sorry.
Old D: (continues, agitated now) In that case, you are in terrible trouble. There is only one thing that can save you now. You must get a brilliant idea. The quickest way to get ideas is to develop them. That is, you must examine the undeveloped, worthless notions of others and add to them that extra something that makes the idea your own. An undeveloped notion may come from the least likely source. Be alert. You never know who will bring it to you.
(the cats are all snoring backstage)
Old D: Alright smarties! I'M DONE!
Pounce: Morning all!
Old D: So funny I almost laughed. Operative word--- ALMOST.
(Almost on cue, Bud Skrump enters the room with a new 'idea' for the vice president to have a look-see at.)
Skimble: Hey Misty!
Misto: Um, Hello Bud.
Skimble: I suppose you're wondering why I'm here.
Misto: Frankly, yes.
Skimble: Misty, I want the two of us to be friends. You know, smokum peacepipe. You never liked me.
Misto: Oh, Bud...
Skimble: Don't deny it! It's true, and I don't blame you. I've been a no-good, back-biting fink.
Misto: Oh, Bud, that's a bit strong.
Skimble: Well, how would you put it?
Misto: I guess your way's best.
Skimble: Is the whole point of you including this to insult me?
Veroni: Some of the best lines are insulting Bud Frump.
Skimble: (flatly) Lucky me.
(Anyway, to make a long story short, Bud has decided that he will 'give' Misty his idea for a TV giveaway show. The whole story though, is that Bud had already pitched that idea to his uncle BJ and he had been turned down flat. Bud hopes to get Misty fired and then HE will be free to climd the ladder without Finch's interfereance. As he leaves, Lecmary enters to give Finch her letter of resignation. He has payed minimal attention to her over the past few days however and is barely listening when she hands him her letter.)
Lec: I was hurt, humiliated, ignored, upset!
Misto: Who did that to you?
Lec: YOU!
Misto: Me? It couldn't have been me! I haven't said ten words to you all week. True?
Lec: True.
Misto: Good. Now listen Ms. Pilkington...
Lec: Can't you call me Lecmary?
Misto: No, and I want you to call me Mr. Finch until you are Mrs. Finch.
Lec: (skeptically) Am I REALLY going to be Mrs. Finch?
Misto: Oh, come on! I thought that was all settled.
Lec: I thought maybe you'd forgotten.
Misto: Well, I haven't.
Queens: Awwww....
Toms: Sentimenal moment = big time gagging!
(ANYhoo... Mistpont decides that he'll go ahead with the TV show idea, unaware that Bud has set him up. He decides that the original idea lacks a certain something though, and tries to figure out what he could do to spice it up a bit.)
Misto: What would you say if we were to give away 100,000 dollars? 200,000?
Lec: I don't care if you give away the entire company! I love you.
Misto: Say that again.
Lec: I love you!
Misto: No. Before that.
Jenny: Tsk! MALES!
Lec: I said I don't care if you give away the entire company.
Misto: THAT'S IT! (Lec topples over at the sudden outburst) Sorry! (helps her up). Anyway, we could give away shares of stock in the company! No one can resist that these days! I have to go see Mr. Biggley! (runs out and Lec sits there, abandoned once more)
Lec: (sighs and sings a reprise)
Oh to be loved
By a man with a goal
To watch as he climbs with a purpose in life
And purity of soul
Oh, to be there in the corner of his mind
Darling absent mind.
Such heaven!
Wearing the wifely uniform
While he goes onward and upward
Happy to keep his dinner warm
Til' he comes wearilly home from DO-O-O-O-O-OWN TO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OWN!
Jenny: (picks up the tune)
When all girls were reduced
To be little more
Than the dumb blondes the men just wa-a-anted to use
Oh in the time before women
Earned their rights..
Darling precious rights---
Veroni: Jenny? CAN IT!
Oh in a time
(Next scene now. BJ and Bomby are in his office discussing her decision to resign from "World Wide Wickets". She is fed up with being a secretary that no one wants to use-- too much temptation for the lucky exec, I s'pose. Anyway, she explains that her friend out in California can get her a job demonstrating skin creams.)
Bomb: It's a very fine skin cream called Dermoblast. Do you know what it's made from?
Bustopher: Please, don't tell me.
Bomb: It's made from sharkbelly jelly.
Bustopher: I was afraid of that.
Tugger: But no one can wear sharkbelly jelly like my Bombs!
Bomb: ME-OW!
Veroni: Flirt later... ACT NOW!
(To cut to the singing stuff, BJ begs Bomby to stay and he promises he will find her a suitable position for her.)
Bustopher: (starts singing)
Where will I find a treasure
Like the love from a heart of gold?
Ever trusting and sweet and awaiting my pleasure;
Rain or shine
Hot or cold
Wealth far beyond all measure
Maybe soon in my hands I'll hold
Ah, but where will I find that one treasure of treasures?
The love from a heart of gold.
(Bomb gets swept up in the moment and sings the same thing.... until she hits the last few lines)
Bomb:
Ah, but where will I find that one treasure of...
(sucks in wind and hits a HIGH C) tr-EA-EA-EA-EASURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Veroni: Ack! The sonic boom has nothing on her!
Misto: What did you say?
Veroni: The sonic boom... BOOM!
Misto: Hooked on Phonics Room?
Gus: Now you're sounding like me.
Misto: Don't get cute.
Both: (try to sing again)
The love..
From a heart...
Of gold...
(Anyway, hitting the warp acceleration button now. We will bring you the cliffnotes and fastforeward to the good stuff...)
Cori: Aka-- Vicky's kazoo solo.
Tugger: I personally, can't wait.
Vicky: Great... The Tug's even teasing me about this stuff now!
(Anyway, we zip ahead now to a few hours later. Finch enters the executive washroom to prepare for his big TV show presentation. All the other executives there are anxious to see him fail, but he is completely oblivious to their stares. Instead, he decides to give himself a little peptalk before the meeting in one of the show's classic numbers.)
Veroni: Get Vicky ready with that kazoo!
Vicky: But I don't wanna!
Veroni: You will, or I'll--- *runs finger across her throat*
Vicky: You'll run your finger across your throat?
Veroni: Never mind. Just get ready.
Toms: (singing menacingly) Gotta stop that Tom!
I've gotta stop that Tom cold
Or he'll stop me!
Big deal, big rocket
Thinks he has the world in his pocket
Gotta stop, gotta stop, gotta stop that Tom
That Tom...
Misto: (looks at himself in the mirror and starts singing to his reflection)
Now there you are
Yes, there's that face!
That face that somehow I trust
It may embarrass you to hear me say it
But say it I must, SAY IT I MUST!
You have the cool, clear eyes of a seeker of wisdom and truth
Yet there's that upturned chin, and the grin of impetuous youth
OH I BELIEVE IN YOU!
I believe in you!
Tugger: And they say *I* have ego problems!
(We'll skipping ahead to the final refrain so that this thing doesn't get TOO long--- and Tugger spoiled the mood anyway so why not?)
Toms: Gotta stop that Tom! Gotta stop that Tom!
(Victoria starts playing the kazoo as the toms keep singing)
Or he'll stop me!
Big wheel, big bever
Boiling hot with front-office fever
Gotta stop, gotta stop, gotta stop that Tom!
Misto: Oh I believe in you!
Toms: Don't let him be such a hero!
Misto: I believe in you!
Toms: Stop that Tom! Gotta stop him!
Misto: YOU!
Toms: Stop that Tom! Gotta stop him!
Misto: YOU!
Toms: Stop that Tom! Gotta stop that TO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OM!
Tugger: On that note... can we vamooski?
Veroni: I guess a short break couldn't hurt.
Vicky: (gasping for air)
Veroni: Oh, good job by the way, Vic.
Vicky: How did I let myself get roped into the kazoo thing again? HOW?
(Veroni leaves and all the cats gather around and start singing)
Cats: Gotta stop this show!
We've gotta stop this show cold
Or it'll kill us!
Big deal, big socket
Gonna take this show here and sock it!
Veroni: (sticks her head back in) Coming?
Cats: (in unison) Be right there.
(continue humming "I Believe in You" as they walk out the door)
The musical, "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying" is the property of some really cool writers Frank
Loesser and Abe Burrows. I'm not claiming to have any connection to this great show and I haven't made any money off
of it.
This fic is © Veronikitty
