(Matt and Juliet walk back in ahead of the other cats, and Matt is ripping mad.)

JULIE: Matt, calm down.

MATT: That fat cat is going to get his one of these days!

JULIE: For Bustopher, it was a natural mistake...

MATT: Natural mistake, my tail! Just because I'm not eating my food so I could discuss Tugger's big scene in the second act doesn't give him grounds to steal and eat it! GRRR! (he hears a scratching sound) What the heck was that? (he turns and sees Pouncival scratching at the glass wall of the soundproof booth)

JULIE: Oh boy! I'd better let him out! (she does so)

POUNCE: Matt, Juliet, thank the Everlasting Cat YOU guys are here! Man, I don't know WHAT I did to make Veroni leave me in that booth like that! (Matt and Juliet roll their eyes when he says this) Did you guys at least get me a doggy bag?

MATT: I would have...BUT BUSTOPHER ATE WHAT EVERYONE ELSE DIDN'T!

POUNCE: Rats.

(The other cats file back in.)

MATT: OK guys, I'm going to leave you with Veroni to direct this next song, because she told me if she wouldn't let her, she'd...(runs his claw across his throat)

VICKY: She'd run her claw across her throat?

MATT: You know what I mean...(hollers at Veroni) GO NUTS!

VERONI: (rubs paws together) I love this part!!

CATS: Uh-oh.....

(The apostle cats are gathered around a table. You know, like in that painting. Okay, wait, not like in that painting---)

VERONI: POUNCE!! The Apostles did NOT wear a headset and bring their comic book collection to the table at the Last Supper.

BUSTOPHER: The last supper ever?? NOOOOO!!! (lumbers out to go stuff himself full of whatever food he can find)

VERONI: Oh boy.

APOSTLES: Look at all my trials and tribulations

Sinking in a gentle pool of wine

Don't disturb me now I can see the answers

Till this evening is this morning, life is fine

Always hoped that I'd be an apostle

Knew that I would make it if I tried

Then when we retire we can write the gospels

So they'll still talk all about us when we've died

MUNKU: (sings) The end---

POUNCE: AT LAST!

MUNKU: NOT THAT THE END!

POUNCE: But you said---

VERONI: Never mind, Pounce. Proceed Munku.

MUNKU: Gladly (back into character)

Is just a little harder when brought about by friends

For all you care, this wine could be my blood

For all you care, this bread could be my body

CATS: Ewwww! We finished Sweeney Todd already!

POUNCE: Not to mention we already ate enough at Veroni's impromptu banquet.

VERONI: GUYS! This is an EMOTIONAL scene you're interrupting here!

MUNKU: (hisses and skips ahead to the chase)

Pouncer will deny me in just a few hours!

Three times will deny me - and that's not all I see!

One of you here dining, one of my twelve chosen

Will leave to betray me

(Before Pounce can say something about playing Peter, Tugger jumps to his feet in a blind rage.... at least we THINK he's acting here.....)

TUGGER: (sings, although it sounds a little more like screaming) CUT THE DRAMATICS!!!! YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHO -

MUNKU: (getting a little caught in the moment himself) WHY DON'T YOU GO DO IT??!!!

TUGGER: YOU WANT ME TO DO IT!

MUNKU: HURRY! THEY'RE WAITING!

JENNY: Sheesh guys! My ears!

TUGGER: If you knew why I do it -

MUNKU: I don't CARE why you do it!!

POUNCE: (puts on a Nike baseball cap) Just do it!

VERONI: (grabs Pounce's hat and bops him on the head with it)

TUGGER: (leaves, singing as he storms out) Everytime I look at you, I don't understand

Why you let the things you did get so out of hand!

BOMB: Cats don't have hands.

VERONI: I'm not messing up a good rhyme to make this thing cat-centric! As it is when we do "Superstar" later it's going to be murder to try and fit in the lyrics "Everlasting Cat Superstar".

APOSTLES: (cut in) Look at all my trials and tribulations

Sinking in a gentle pool of wine

Don't disturb me now I can see the answers

Till this evening is this morning, life is fine

Always hoped that I'd be an apostle

Knew that I would make it if I tried

Then when we retire we can write the gospels

So they'll still talk all about us when we've died

MUNKU: (looks around as his twelve chosen leave him alone) Will no one stay awake with me?

Pouncer? Platohn? Admetames?

Will none of you wait with me?

Pouncer? Platohn? Admetames?

VERONI: Famous and extremely beloved song coming up... so that means?

CATS: No messing with Munku while he sings... we know, we know.

MUNKU: (in the garden of Gethsemane) I only want to say

If there is a way

Take this cup away from me for I don't want to taste it's poison

Feel it burn me, I have changed I'm not as sure

As when we started

Then I was inspired

Now I'm sad and tired

Listen, surely I've exceeded expectations

Tried for three years, seems like thirty

Could you ask as much from any other tom?

(Veroni slaps a paw over Pounce's mouth and he sighs, throwing his paws up in the air)

MUNKU: (gettin' teary) BUT IF I DIE

See the saga through and do the things you ask of me

Let them hate me, hit me, hurt me, nail me to their tree

I'd wanna know, I'd wanna know my GOD!

I'd wanna know, I'd wanna KNOW MY GOD!

I'd wanna see, I'd wanna see MY GOD!

I'd wanna see, I'd wanna SEE MY GOD!

Why I should die

Would I be more noticed than I ever was before?

POUNCE: (breaks free) Alright. NOT leaving that one alone---- Probably not.

VERONI: I think a certain kitty needs a repeat visit to the soundproof booth.

POUNCE: Nuh-uh!!! (runs across the room and barricades himself in the broom closet)

VERONI: Oooh. Even better. (takes out a set of keys and locks the broom closet door)

MUNKU: (tearing up, sings again) Would the things I've said and done matter any more?

I'd have to know, I'd have to know my LORD!

I'd have to know, I'd have to know MY LORD!

I'd have to see, I'd have to see my LORD!

I'd have to see, I'd have to see MY LORD!

If I die what would be my reward?

If I die what would be my reward?

I'd have to know, I'd have to know my LORD!

I'd have to know, I'd have to know MY LORD!

WHY SHOULD I DIE???

TUMBLE: To cut this REALLY long song short?

VERONI: HUSH!

MUNKU: Can you show me now that I would not be killed in vain?

Show me just a little of your omnipresent brain

Show me there's a reason for you wanting me to die!

(A single spotlight directly over Munku's head glows to life, casting a shadow over part of Munku's face...)

CATS: Ooooooh. Dramatic....

MUNKU: You're FAR TOO KEEN on where and how and not so hot on why!

(reflects for a moment)

Alright. I'll die.

Just watch me die

SEE HOW I DIE!

SEE HOW I DIE!

(Music stops with a dramatic pause)

Then I was inspired

Now I'm sad and tired

After all, I've tried for three years.... seems like ninety

Why then am I scared to finish what I started?

What YOU started-- I didn't start it!

GOD THY WILL IS HARD!

BUT YOU HOLD EVERY CARD!

I will drink your cup of poison, nail me to your cross and break me

Bleed me, beat me, KILL ME! Take me now, before I change my mind

NOW....

BEFORE I CHANGE MYYYYYY MI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-IND!

(The other cats applaud wildly.)

MUNKU: Thank you very much! Now I'd like to sing one of my favorite songs, taught to me by a fellow diva...

Meeeeeeeemoryyyyy, all aloooooone in the moooooonliiiiight...

JULIE: OK, Munkustrap, now you're just pushing it. Only ONE CAT can sing that song and that's...

OTHER CATS: We know, we know.

MATT: May we continue here?

(So anyway, Judas gets the soldiers to take Munkus away, and awaken the disciples who have no idea what the heck is going on...)

TUGGER: There he is! They're all asleep--the fools!

MUNKU: Judas--must you betray me with a kiss?

BOMB: I'm not touchin' that one.

POUNCE: (who got Carbucketty to let him out of the broom closet while Munkustrap was going on his diva tirade, and is now back on stage) What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening?

POUNCE and APOSTLES: What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening

Hang on Lord we're gonna fight for you

MUNKU: Put away your sword

Don't you know that it's all over?

TUMBLE: IT IS?! THANK THE EVERLASTING CAT!

ALONZO: Not the parody, doofus. (swipes at Tumblebrutus, but Tumblebrutus got out of the way before Alonzo could connect with him)

MUNKU: (hisses at Alonzo and Tumblebrutus, and continues) Why are you obsessed with fighting?

MAC: Well, do you really want to know? I guess it all goes back to when I was the runt of the litter... my mom always liked the other kittens best...

MUNGO: Er, Boss, Oi daon't think 'e meant why are you PERSONALLY obsessed with foightin'.

MUNKU: (who is now getting very mad at all the cats making side comments) STICK TO FISHING FROM NOW ON!

JULIE: Easy on the ears, Munkustrap, they're the only ones I have!

(So Munkus is led past a crowd of angry cats...)

OTHER CATS: Tell me Munkus how you feel tonight

Do you plan to put up a fight?

Do you feel that you've had the breaks?

What do you feel were youre big mistakes?

Do you think that you may retire?

Did you think you would get much higher?

POUNCE: Getting HIGHER? I thought that wasn't until we did "Hair".

OTHER CATS: (continuing) How do you view your coming trial?

ALONZO: *gulp* Munkustrap, you'd better get Johnnie Cochran on the phone.

OTHER CATS: Have your toms proved at all worthwhile?

Come with us to see Rumphas

You'll just love the High Priest's house

You'll just love seeing Rumphas

You'll just die in the High Priest's house...

(This goes on for a few more lines...so they get to Rumphas's house, and he speaks...)

RUMPUS: Munkus you must realize the serious charges facing you

JULIE: Yeah, imitating a diva.

RUMPUS: (continues) You say you're the Son of the Everlasting Cat in all your handouts...well is it true?

TUGGER: I don't know about HIM, but I know I'm the Everlasting Cat's gift to queens!

JENNY: Oh, PLEASE.

MUNKU: That's what you say--you say that I am

SKIMBLE: There you have it gentletoms...what more evidence do we need?

Judas, thank you for the victim, stay a while and you'll see it bleed!

(Elsewhere, Pouncer is confronted at a Biblical "rest stop", so to speak, by a maid as he and Mary Magdemlene pass through...)

DEM: Rats. I thought I just had to sing "I Don't Know How To Love Him" and then I could bail out.

VICKY: I think I've seen you somewhere...I remember

You were with that tom they took away

I recognize your face

POUNCE: You've got the wrong tom, young queen, I don't know him

And I wasn't where he was tonight--never near the place

MATT: Psst! I need some extras for this scene...Plato, Gus...GET OUT THERE! GOGOGOGOGO!

PLATO: I hate when he throws us into scenes at the last minute!

GUS: (whose hearing aid is working again, if only for a small while) I welcome the challenge, Plato. There are no small parts, only small actors!

MISTO: Leave me out of this!

(Plato and Gus run on stage and read these next lines from cue cards)

PLATO: That's, er, strange, for I am sure I saw you with him

You were right by his side and yet you denied...

POUNCE: I tell you I was never ever with him

GUS: (overacting) BUT I SAW YOU TOO! IT LOOKED JUST LIKE YOU!!!!

TANTI: Easy on the ears, Gus!

GUS: Britney Spears drives a bus?

TANTI: Someone check the battery on his hearing aid!

POUNCE: I don't know him!

DEM: Pouncer, don't you know what you have said

You've gone and cut him dead

OTHER CATS: YOU KILLED MUNKUSTRAP! YOU BAS--

DEM: I meant in the play! Sheesh, why do you all take everything so literally?!

POUNCE: I had to do it, don't you see?

Or else they'd go for me...

DEM: It's what he told us you would do

I wonder how he knew...

MATT: Probably because unlike some of you, Munkustrap READ THE SCRIPT!

(Meanwhile, Munkus has been brought to Pontius Macavilate, who, in a song that we'll skip...)

MAC: THANK THE EVERLASTING CAT!

(...sends him to King Deuterod.)

VERONI: But that will have to wait until I take a regularly scheduled HTML break. These things get too long and Angelfire does the wacky on me.

BOMB: Ooooo. "Does the wacky"... just had dirty thoughts...

TUGGER: You and me both, babes.

VERONI: Hey lovebirds... GET A CAGE!!