Sunnydale hospital:
Some ward:
A room:
Xander is lying on a gurney/bed (or what passes as beds in hospitals). He has a big bandage around his head and one of his legs are elevated. Willow comes in the door. Followed by Buffy and Reilly they are all lovey dovey and are trying to act cute.
Willow hands Xander a bag: “I stopped by the comic book store and picked you up some stuff (why is there only one of everything in S.D including nightclubs even though there is a university?).
Xander: “Thanks.” (he try’s to act all ‘sick and fell pity for me’)
Buffy says nothing cause she is still grossed out by him.
Suddenly Reilly jumps up on the bed. Xander is in pain. But no one helps him.
Reilly: “ANNNND!! Look what I got !!!!”
He shows Xander his Pokémon trading cards.
Reilly: “Look theirs Bulbasor and Élans ,ohh and AND my favorite Allahuxam!!!” He had an ‘aren’t you jealous’ look on his face.
Xander thinks: What kinda freak is this guy?!? They put the likes of him in charge in the military!?!
Buffy and willow slowly back out of the room. Xander cant go any were cause he got his ass kicked.
Doyle: “Ok I’ll show you the cards you tell me what you see.”
Angel nods nervously
Doyle holds up a card: “Ok this one?”
Angel: “Bat?”
Zappppppppp
Doyle looks puzzled at Oz as Angel try’s to lift himself off the ground.
Oz: “Bat as in vampire bat and Buffy's the slayer.”
Doyle nods happily: “This one?”
Angel: “Ball?”
Zapppppp
Oz: “B for ball b for Buffy.”
Doyle: “Good one. Ok and this?”
Angel: “House?”
Zapppppppppppp
Oz: “Buffy lives in a house.”
Doyle: “Good one man!”
They don’t notice that angel is not getting up
Cordy is going through her mail
Cordy: “Bill, bill, bill, junk.
She throws them over her shoulder were phantom Dennis catches them
Cordy: Dennis did you spend $299 on a great composers c.d. collection …… your going to have to get a job and help pay for these…. Yeah I’ll need a second job two (just like Timmy can understand lassie Cordy can understand phantom Dennis even though he’s invisible and doesn’t talk).
Cordy looks trough newspapers.
*
Oz: “I’m really getting the hand of this prodding lark (cause oz uses word that normal people don’t use).” He swings it around like a baron stopping every few swirls to zap some thing.
Doyle: “Yeah we really could have used something like tha’ back home in Ireland on my Grans farm with my 14 brothers and 9 sisters (even though Doyle is an only child he is still Irish and this is how Irish people live), but electricity only came in the year before I swam over here. My brother Patrick tells me that the neighbors, the O’Learys got a TV. They’re the closest farm to us for 24 miles (45 miles on the way back). Some times he goes down there and watches the static it’s very exiting (there are no TV stations).”
Oz nods cause he knows that’s what Ireland is really like.
Angel comes out of the office his hair is all burned.
Oz zapps him just for the hell of it
Xander is in hospital reading an Archie comic. He thinks: It’s like my life is a comic book, Betty = Buffy or Willow. Veronica = Cordy or any other monster I dated but who to choose? Every thing in this is me except for the band, but still I have a new prospective on life.
(Comics = life with cool super powers)
Willow casually approaches Xander's bedside.
Willow: “Xander I have some bad news. It’s Amy.”
Xander looks concerned.
Willow: “It seems Amy made her way out of the Jerry Springer studio and into Jenny Jones’ cafeteria, well … I don’t know how to say this actually its quiet simple. She ate some rat poison. The doctors did all they could to help her but she was too far-gone. I’m sorry.”
With that she leaves
Xander: “Nooooooo say it ain’t so, my love, ahhhhh nooooooooo.”
Bats in some near by bell tower hear and fly away.
In L.A. Cordy and Dennis have found spiffy new jobs. Cordy works in a comic book store and P.D. is a courier for a delivery service.
Cordy is not paying attention when she hears a little voice.
Little voice: “Hey lady, you got any Pokémon trading cards?”
Cordy looks up. Doesn’t see any one so she goes back to doing her nails.
Little voice: “Hey lady!!”
She looks around and then down behind the other side of the counter, a little boy most likely called Timmy looks up at her
Cordy: “Poké-what cards?”
Timmy: “Pokémon it’s ONLY the best game EVER !!! It’s the greatest!! It’s a life changer . I was a big tellytubies fan but when I played this it turned my life in a hole other direction. I know speak proper words.”
Cordy seems impressed she hands the boy a pack and he gives her the money, which is way too much for 5 pieces of card and bubble gum.” “Cordy: “Wow this might just get Angel out of his funk.”
She pockets a starter pack
In some executive office phantom Dennis and retarded Bob are making forts out of the packages they were meant to deliver. Some guy in a suit walks in and starts to give out to P.D. not seeing retarded Bob cause he is in the fort.
Guy in suit: “Your fired Phantom Dennis!”
In the next week or so retarded bob becomes the junior manager of the left side of the building.
Doyle; oz and angel are over. P.D. hasn’t told any one about getting fired. Angel is talking to P.D. cause he wants to stay as far away from Oz and the cattle prod as possible.
Angel: “So Dennis how’s the new job going?” Angel doesn’t think P.D. can hold it down.
Angel: “I bet you don’t even have a job.”
He is interrupted by Cordelia who gives him the trading cards. He is very interested. Neither notices Dennis scribbles some thing down on a piece of paper.
P.D. : “I do so have a job and look I have to deliver this to you.”
Angel surprised at both the note and the fact that P.D. talked.
He reads the note:
Angel my sweet love,
I need your help. Danger is a foot. Our beautiful town of Sunnydale is in great peril you must come and help stop this big evil because I’m just a girlie girl.
Love always,
Buffy.
Angel: “Buffy’s in trouble. I know that hand writing any were and she so talks like that. Come my fellow demon types, you too Cordy, we are off to Sunnydale.
“She was the best of us. She was the sun and moon and known to worship them both. She was the greatest hero of this town and its most priceless jewel”
Xander finishes his eulogy. The only other person there is Reilly cause every one else is really grossed out. Reilly is using this time to sort out his Pokécards.
Xander sheds a tear as he waves goodbye and closes the lid.
Then in one foul swoop he flushes the toilet.
On To Page Three
Email The Author
