Dreams
by: mg
who is this person that continues to convince me that I should wake up tomorrow? how is it that I am led to believe tomorrow can be better than today? is it because today was so shitty that there's no way tomorrow could be worse? i am so convinced that the dream world is better than the real. and why not? you can do whatever you want. whenever you want. however you want. in the real, you're restricted by morals and laws and parents and bosses and rules and conciousness in general. awareness of reality becomes a seatbelt, preventing you from moving about. what if the mechanism refuses to release the belt? then you're stuck in the seat. stuck in the car while it burns up. these are insomniacs. they don't get to sleep and move about as they please. people say I'm lazy because I sleep so much. i just tell them that in a way, i'm taking advantage of the time. instead of going to work and following orders and going to school and following the rules and doing what everyone else wants me to, I'm asleep doing whatever I want. just because it isn't real, that doesn't mean it's any less satisfying. when I think about it, perhaps dreams are a preview for heaven. maybe one of us has already dreamed about what heaven is really like. if you can do whatever you want in dreams, if you can have anyone you want, if you can have everything your way and feel as pleasant as you can comprehend, how can heaven be better?
it's because life has become so unbearable that my only relaxation comes through dreams in my sleep. it's the cold reality that forces me to be pessimisstic. it's the conciousness, the existence, the understanding that tomorrow will be no better than today, it's those things that make me so grateful I was given the gift of dreaming. if humans didn't sleep, if we didn't dream, then we would all be stuck in a merciless neverending loop devoid of happiness. it's that there's nothing left in my life left to be happy about. it's that the only new things that come in are eventual ways for me to fuck up. it's that dreaming is the only thing I have left where I don't have to face myself.
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©2001 mg
