The days after what happened at Astrid and Alyssa's aunt's house were pretty bad. Paul tried to talk to me several times, but I just ignored him, and left, not wanting to be near him because I was afraid that I would kiss him instead. John was too protecting, always keeping an eye on me when Paul was around and trying not to leave us alone in the room, what for me was a relief.

I tried to sort out in my head what the hell whas happening with me, and my feelings. It was just too weird, I mean, what he did, the way he looked at me, as meaning the kiss completely overwhelmed me. I tried to convince myself that it was just another of his jokes and that I didn't care, but absolutely failed, I'd liked it too much for not caring, and that was making me guilty. I wasn't supposed to like it coming from him, and was afraid of it and afraid of what was happening to me at the moment. I've always looked at his birds at the clubs and the little bitches he was with and laughed at them for letting him charm them, and that was exactly what he was doing with me, just with that kiss, his touch and that serious look he had.

One night after the show I was sitting on the floor of the bedroom I shared with the guys, thinking about it, when Alyssa entered.

"Hey," She said, sitting on the floor beside me and lighting up a ciggie.

"Hi..." I sounded really tired, and I was, tired of Hamburg, tired of Paul, tired of John, well... tired of all the bullshit that was around me, "I didn't hear you enter" And I grabbed her ciggarette and took a drag.

"Hey! Since when are you smoking?" She seemed really surprised.

"Since now" I said with a sad chuckle.

"Why are you like this, huh?"

"Like what?" I answered, seeming to be miles away from here...

"Like this!" She said, pointing at me.

I sighed and took another drag of her ciggie, "I just wanna go home..."

What a big lie! I was a mess because of Paul and his goddamned little kiss.

"C'mon, you can't lie to me!" She exclaimed, "Tell me the truth!"

"That's the truth"

"Let me tell you something, my friend. You are this way because of Paul!"

"Bullshit! Paul's an asshole!" I said with an angry tone.

"No! You're the asshole for not recognizing it!" She was so right!

"And what do you want me to say!?"

"That you're dying for him to kiss you again! You like Paul!"

"That's such a lie!" Well... what I said was a lie!

"C'mon, think I'm stupid??"

"No, you're not but it's not true, Lys..." I sounded like hell!

She put an arm around my shoulder and patted my back.

"You can trust me... tell me what's wrong."

"Ok, then... this is the problem," I said, deciding I gotta tell somebody what I was feeling, and Lys was a good person to talk to, "It's not that I liked Paul or his kiss... it's that it impressed me too much! I mean, all his life he's been teasing me and now... *sigh* he looked so serious, I dunno.. he startled me"

"Yeah... you should've seen your face..."

"What was wrong with my face?"

"There was nothing wrong with your face... it showed real shock"

"Well, I was shocked! You know... I... well, I saw him all wet and dripping... he was so damn gorgeous that, I mean, It wasn't Paul I was looking at! not the Paul I knew, anyway"

"And which Paul was it then?"

"I never looked at him as a guy, I looked at him as an idiot that was always teasing me and bothering me, but... this time... his touch, his kiss, made him so different"

"You saw Paul, the man, not Paul the fucking prick, right?"

"Exactly, and it surprised me 'cause I've never thought of him in that way before."

"Maybe that's what he wanted, to show you he can be a man too"

"But I didn't want to know!"

"I know, but maybe it was time for you to know it"

"Why do you say so?"

"Well... he might be interested in you, that's why he wanted to let you know"

I looked at her and said nothing. She talked again.

"Maybe he's been seeing you as the woman you are and, well, wanted to tell you that he's not just a prick that wants to tease you, but a man that wants to fuck you!" And she laughed loudly.

I just chuckled and said:

"Or maybe he thinks I'm gonna fall for with his McCartney Charms as all the girls around here, no?"

"And that's exactly what you're doing..." Alyssa wasn't the world's most intelligent person, but had that intuition that seemed to sort out everything.

"Yeah, but I won't show it to him," I said, smiling to her a sarcastic smile, trying to show myself as a strong person, when I felt as a wreck.

"I have my doubts... it's already pretty clear to everybody"

"What!?" Oh no, my God!

"Yeah, hon... the way you ignore him, the way you look at him shows us that you have it for him... I mean, we know the way you looked at him before and it was soooo different"

"Why?"

"Because you hated him before! And it seems that that little kiss melted your heart, luv."

"Dammit..."

We were both silent for a moment and I talked again:

"Damned kiss, damned Paul and damned heart!"

Before I could end the phrase, the door opened and Paul entered with a giggling girl. My God... this couldn't be happening. Paul, who heard my statement, turned to look at us, with the girl holding his hand. My heart jumped. He was such a bastard bringing a girl up here! I'm sure he did it on purpose.

"What?" He said astonished.

"Oh, could you please go to another place? we're talking here!" Alyssa told him, pointing at the door.

"Well... no," he answered.

"Paul, please," she pleaded, "you don't need to be here for... for that."

He looked at me and I lowered my sight at the instant, and then felt like an idiot for that. A moment passed and he finally said:

"Can you leave us alone, please?"

I looked up, he was talking to the girl.

"What!?" The girl said surprised, "you promised me--"

"We'll do it in another time, go."

She looked at him with her eyes full of rage and left the room banging the door.

"We wanted you to leave, not her" I said in a low and week tone.

He didn't say anything and sat on his bed, glancing at us.

"So, now, can you explain to me what you've just said?" He said to me.

"Wait," Alyssa said, "Before you start with your little fights, I'll follow the girl's steps and get the hell outta here"

I looked up with pleading eyes that begged her to stay, but didn't say anything. She stood up and headed to the door.

"Good luck, you two." And she went out, closing the door after her.

We were alone.

There was an awkard silence after Alyssa left, and I didn't know what to say, what to do. I was too nervous for that. My mind was racing, and my heart was jumping with doubts, nervousness and an overwhelming need to have him kissing and holding me again. After some seconds, he spoke up, making me look at him again.

"Now... can you explain to me what you were saying?"

"Why do I have to explain it to you?" I said, trying to sound like his precence wasn't disturbing me at all.

"Cause I heard the words kiss, heart and damned mixed with my name in a same sentence and it's quite worrying," he assured.

"And since when does it matter to you what I think or say?" Again my aggressiveness was trying to hide my weakness.

"It's always mattered to me what you say or think about me... I care about what anybody says about me, you know," he answered, his voice completely tranquil.

"Well, I don't think I have to tell you, anyway," I said, standing up and heading to the door.

He stood up too and grabbed my arm to stop me from leaving.

"Stay, Prue... I think we need to talk about what happened the other day." He stated, looking at my eyes, giving me chills.

I looked at his eyes and seeing his serious glance I nodded, sat back on the floor and he sat beside me, in the place Alyssa left.

After some seconds of an unconfortable silence I had the need to ask him something.

"Why did you do it?" I blurted awkwardly.

He looked up at me with a surprised look in his eyes, "Huh!?"

"Yeah, why did you kiss me the other day?"

He kept his eyes nailed in mine for a second but then lowered his sight and sighed.

"I dunno..." he explained, putting his eyes again on mine, "I just... it was an impulse I had that I don't understand either..."

I didn't say anything, I just looked him back. He looked so damn good and was so damn close... his face was just a few inches away, and his glance was very intense, so intense that I had an impulse myself. I approached my face and situated my lips on his for a light and inocent kiss that developed fire all through me. He seemed surprised because he stood still all the kiss. I suddenly realized what I was doing and put my face away, blushing furiously. He opened his eyes meeting my surprised glance with a surprised glance too. I couldn't believe what I had done! I'd kissed him! My God, what the hell was I thinking about? Was I nuts, or what?

"I'm sorry," I stuttered, and stood up as fast as I could to go away from him.

But I couldn't reech my purpose because before I could even get to the door, he grabbed my arm, brought me to him, and was kissing me again. His strong arms embracing me. His hand on the small of my back, pushing me tightly against him. My amazement was completely disolved by the heat and I wraped my arms around his neck, kissing him back. He moved his hand up to my hair, caressing it, and moving it away from my neck so he could kiss me there. I sighed and guided my hand to his hair, sliding mi fingers through it, loving its softness. He brought his hand to my neck, and his face back to mine to kiss me again, more demanding this time, parting my lips with his tonge and making of this a french kiss. I didn't resist, I just let the feeling do all the job. I kissed him back, tasting his mouth and feeling him tasting mine. His hands went down to my waist, stayed there a second and moved to my hips, pushing me hard against him, making me feel the hard evidence that he was enjoying it as much as I was. I moaned in his mouth and kissed him harder, just as he was doing to me. I needed air desperately and left his mouth, moving to kiss his cheek, his chin, his neck, making him sigh as my hands slid under his T-shirt and caressed his soft bare back. He brought my mouth again to his and we met in a breathtaking kiss that showed how excited both of us were. This was getting out of control.

A little thought that was around my mind didn't let me enjoy completely the moment. What was I doing? Was I surrending so easily to him like all the other girls? What made me think that he thought in me as something more than another bird? But this was... this was unbelievable. A lot of guys had kissed me and caressed me like he was doing but it never felt so right and so wrong at the same time. Right because I was enjoying it a lot and he was so gorgeous and sexy. Wrong because of who he was and how he behaved with girls, he mainly used them. And there was another fact beside all those: as John, he had a girlfriend back in Liverpool. Dot was a kind of friend of mine and I shoudn't be doing this to her. Anyway, my thoughts hadn't got strenght enough to stop me.

We kept kissing, with more and more passion and continued touching each other. He moved his hand up to one of my breasts, squeezed gently and rubbed my hard nipple with his thumb, making me sigh with pleasure. He continued doing it as I kissed my way to his neck, then nibbled his earlobe and licked a path around his ear. He moaned and took charge, kissing my mouth again, giving me a feverish, deep kiss that sent shivers to my whole body. He slid his hands over my sides and reached to the end of my T-shirt, pulling it off over my head and kissing me again. His hands roamed over my waist, my breasts and looked impaciently for my bra's hook to unhook it. When he did and started to caress my bare back, a sound of laughter from the corridor stopped us. They were the guys and were coming here!

"The guys!" I whispered, grabbed my T-shirt and went to the bathroom.

"Dammit!" he muttered as the bedroom door opened and they entered just as I closed the bathroom's one.

I hooked my bra, put on my T-shirt again and sat on the floor to listen to their conversation.

"What are you doing standing there?" Pete asked to Paul surprised.

"Eh..." he said, still a bit shocked about the previous moment, "nothing..."

"Oh, man, that's pretty strange..."

After that, George started to laugh and said, "Hey, Paul! where you thinking about Prue or something?"

"What!?" Paul asked, amazed.

"Yeah, man!" George answered, still laughing, "look at you! you have such a hard on!" And with that, he laughed louder.

"Fuck off, George!" Paul answered, clearly annoyed, "it's not your fucking problem."

"Ok, ok," George said laughingly, "I was just asking."

"Are you coming with us, then?" Pete asked.

"Yes, I'm going in a minute... wait for me, I'll change my clothes and I'll be there"

"Ok..." Pete said, "George, did you grab the strings fer John?"

"Yeah, I 'ave 'em"

"Great, let's go, then" And I heard the sound of the door closing again.

I closed my eyes and sighed with relief, slidding my hands through my hair, my elbows on my knees. It'd been so close, they nearly find us! It would have been so embarrassing... I didn't want to even think about it. I was standing up when I heard Paul knocking on the door.

"Prue?" He said and I opened the door.

"Nearly, huh?" I said, going outta the bathroom and sitting on my bed.

"Yeah, it was close..." he sighed and went to sit beside me.

"Ok... so it was a night full of impulses, I think..."

"Yeah," he chuckled, "too many impulses."

I looked at him, but lowered my sight instantly at his intense glance. I stood still for a moment and began to play with my nails. After a few seconds of that, I stopped as I felt the back of his fingers brushing my cheek. I looked up at him again.

"I think I should be going," he said, lowering his hand.

"Ok..." I nodded.

He sighed and stood up. I watched him as he grabbed a new T-shirt, took the other off, put the new one on and a wave of heat passed through me. When he finished changing clothes, he tidied his hair a little and looked at me again. We looked at each other for a second and he came to me, kissed me softly on my lips again and said:

"We'll find the time to be together," another kiss, "I need to, and we'll find it."

And then he kissed me again, deeply this time, holding my face in his hands as he took my soul out with his kiss. When it ended, he went to the door and was out of the room before I could say anything, leaving me more confused and aroused than I already was.

continued