Thunder boomed, snapping Sara out of her thoughts. The wind had picked up, she noticed, and it ruffled her now short blonde hair. One hand slid over the back of her head, almost as if seeking the missing length. A wry smile quirked her lips. So many changes wrought since she and Jim had first shared this swing. He was part of the reason her hair was now so short…and the reason it was blonde. She snorted, not that she’d ever tell him that. His ego was bigger than Montana. Besides that, she wanted him to see her for herself, not just the memory of a dream. She was herself, and she wanted him to love her for her, not just for her hair color or the color of her eyes. She snorted. At least he wouldn’t be mistaking her for his soul-mate anytime soon.

Thunder rumbled again, even more ominously close. She took a deep breath, could smell the rain in the air. Soon. The storm was closer. Soon, it would ravage. Soon. She should go inside before the storm hit. Go inside where she’d be warm and dry…safe.

The swing gently rocked back and forth. Not yet. She couldn’t go in just yet. The melodrama, the X-File, that was her life to this point, had to finish it’s playing out in her mind. Her thoughts rolled back to that night.

They sat on the swing. Dani was inside with Richard, who had recently come home. Partly to give Richard and Dani a chance to be alone, and partly to be alone themselves, Sara and Jim had retreated once more to the swing. Richard had joined them on the back porch for a few moments before going back inside.

Sara was in Jim’s arms. All her senses were alive, tuned to this man…this moment. His mouth was on hers, and she learned the taste of him. Their hands explored, and she learned the feel of him. One hand fell to his lap. He was hard. She stroked him through his jeans.

A flash of triumph surged through her as he groaned into her mouth. She stroked him harder, and he climbed off the swing. Before she could protest, he knelt in front of her. A memory flashed in the back of her mind as his hands gripped her thighs, but she ignored it. Her hands fluttered over his shoulders, his chest, as he kissed her again, harder than before, more urgently. His hand claimed one of hers, tucking it into his jeans. Her fingers curled around his arousal. His groan filled her ears as she slowly stroked him. Her groan echoed his as their kiss deepened for a moment, then he pulled back. “Let’s go to your room,” he suggested, breathing harshly.

No! her resurrected conscience shrieked in protest. You can’t! You don’t know anything about him. He’s married, honey. He’s got another girlfriend, probably a whole string of them. He’ll use you, then walk away. It’s only physical for him, no matter what he says. Men will say anything to catch a little tail, you know that. You don’t mean anything to him. It’s only physical.

It’s only physical for me, too, she argued, her hand still stroking him. She leaned against him, her senses swimming. His scent filled her nostrils. His mouth was on her neck, tasting. She shuddered.

She heard a sound in her head vaguely reminiscent of a disbelieving snort. You’re already in love with him, fool! Just don’t give in!

Was she in love with him? She wondered. They had only just met. She didn’t know anything about him, not really. Only what he’d told her, and what Dani had told her. She couldn’t be in love with him. She just wanted him…wanted to feel him inside her. Her hand curled once more around his erection, stroking just a little harder. He arched into her hand. She pulled back, found herself drowning in his hazel eyes. She didn’t speak, couldn’t speak, but she didn’t have to. Her shining eyes must have given her away. Still, she nodded, once. Confirmation.

His triumphant smile brought color to her cheeks. He kissed her quickly, branding her in that moment. He pulled her hand from his jeans, and stood, taking her hands and pulling her up from the swing into his arms. He kissed her again, then strode quickly to the sliding glass door.

Everything seemed to move at warp speed from that point on. Dani had to open the door, since she and Richard had locked it before getting ready for bed. Sara heard Jim mention to Dani that they were going to her room. She wanted to kick him as heat flooded her face. I don’t always do this, Dani, she wanted to protest as they quickly left the room. Really, I don’t.

Her conscience did protest, loudly, as Sara followed Jim to her room. This is totally insane! You know nothing about this man, and yet you’re going to give your body to him? What’s wrong with this picture? When he leaves, and he will, you’ll go to sleep, and you’ll dream about happily ever after. Then you’ll wake up and you’ll realize that happily ever after only exists in dreams. It’s not real, Sara. It’s only physical for him. Stop now before you totally surrender!

But it was too late. It had been too late the moment she’d followed Alyson onto the porch, and seen him sitting on the swing. This moment had to happen, would happen. As Valentine Michael Smith would say, it was time to grok in fullness, and grow closer.

Sara watched Jim tossing pillows on the floor, making a bed for them. Dani hugged her. “I’m so happy for you,” she beamed, then left, shutting the door behind her…leaving the two of them alone.

Sara hesitated, unsure even as her body swayed toward him. She stepped past him, turning down the lamp so they were in darkness. She couldn’t bare her body before him. It had taken her about a month before Lanzo had seen her naked. She’d just met Jim, there was no way he would see all of her tonight. Plus, there were still so many insecurities within her. She didn’t know what the dawn would bring, if anything besides sexual fulfillment….and she didn’t want to know. She wanted only this moment, lose herself in this one moment with this man who might be her future. This man who seemed to see into her soul.

This man who had taken off his shirt, and carelessly tossed it aside. Sara swallowed hard. Even in the dim light coming in her bedroom window, she could see that she had been right and the hair didn’t cover his chest. There was a dark trail of it leading down to the waistband of his pants, and she wanted to explore. Still, fair was fair. She pulled off her shirt, tossing it by way of his. Her bra was next, and also subjected to the same treatment.

They were in each others arms…bare chest to bare chest. Her nipples lost in his chest hair. She shuddered at the erotic friction as his mouth melded with hers. He pulled back long enough to pull off his remaining clothes, and Sara did the same, climbing into their makeshift bed with him. He pulled the sheet and blanket up over them. Cocooned in their little nest, Sara closed her eyes as she felt him rise above her, climbing between her legs, as his mouth mated with hers. This moment was meant to be, she knew, eyes flashing open as the long, hard length of him filled her. Their eyes locked and held as he moved within her. Deep inside her, she felt something shift. It could have been her body adjusting to the size of him, or it could have been her lungs fighting for air as she panted. It could have been, but something inside her warned her that more was taking place than a merging of bodies. She shied away from the thought, losing herself in his touch.

The first splatter of rain pulled Sara from her thoughts. She took a deep breath, shaking off the physical effects the memory of that night brought her. She cursed softly, rising to stand in the archway.

The rain started slowly, she observed. A gentle shower. Then the deluge came. A curtain of water fell before her eyes, and with each twist of the wind, enveloped her in it. She was soaked in moments, but didn’t care. The wind howled, rising and falling. Lightning flashed somewhere in the distance, followed by a thunderous bellow. She spread her arms, gripping either side of the archway, spreading her feet for balance. In that primal moment, she was the storm. All her pent-up fury revealed in the pouring rain. “Damn him!” she raged, the wind whipping about her. Raindrops coursed down her face, mingling with the tears she hadn’t noticed yet. “Damn him,” she cursed more softly, shoulders slumping. Her eyes closed, and she leaned against the right side of the archway. “Damn him.” She slid to the ground, her back against the archway. Sobs shook her as she buried her face in her hands. “Jim, oh Jim,” she sobbed, breath hitching as she wrapped her arms around herself. Memories flitted through her mind…

Sunlight streamed into the room, and she’d watched him sleep. Such boyish innocence. All that was good and sweet and kind revealed in the dawn’s soft, golden glow. He slept, and she snuggled against him, still ignoring that voice that told her she loved him. She couldn’t love him. She barely knew him.

He came over again the following night, and once more they talked, laughed…made love. She was on top, looking down into his eyes. That was in itself something very different for her. Usually, her eyes were closed. Her eyes were the window to her soul, and no man had ever bothered looking in. Jim looked, eyes fastened on her face as she rode him. “I love you,” he said, and she froze. Her heart stopped beating. Air fled her lungs in a rush, and her dark eyes widened. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. She forced her body to move, finish the downward plunge even as she laid across his chest. Her eyes shut, tears pooling. He loves me? He loves me? His words wouldn’t stop playing through her mind. Something inside her shattered even as she climaxed. Everything she was would be revealed in her eyes, so she kept her face buried against his shoulder. Insane, she thought, then forgot to think as her body took control. Later…deal with what he said later. Not now…now just let your body talk for you.

After a hell of a wonderful conversation, Sara and Jim lay quietly in the dark room. Jim was half asleep, resting on his left side, and she snuggled up against his back. She pulled the covers back. “What’s wrong?” he asked, propping himself up as she snatched something from the bookcase.

“Nothing,” she said, handing him the smooth blue stone. A fox was etched into the blue lace agate. His confusion was a tangible thing, so she explained, “It’s a blue lace agate, for healing.” She lay back down, her body at his back. She ran a hand over his stomach, his chest. She could almost hear him ask, so why give it to me? She swallowed hard. “Thanks to you, I don’t need it anymore.” He settled back down, snuggling back against her. Silence reigned in the darkness. When she thought he was asleep, she admitted softly, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he replied just as softly, his hand covering hers where it rested over his heart.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Dani demanded, pulling Sara up. Sara let herself be dragged into the house. “Are you trying to catch pneumonia? What were you doing out there, sitting in the rain?”

Once inside the house, Dani turned Sara to face her, then froze. Tears were still cascading down her face. “I still love him, Dani. Why can’t I stop loving him?”

Dani pulled Sara into her arms, hugging her as she cried. “It’ll be okay…I know it hurts, but…”

Sara tore herself away. “God, it hurts so much.” Her eyes were hollow pools of pain as she looked at Dani. “How could he do this to me? To us? How?” She swallowed hard. “He…we…I thought…” She shook her head. She ran her hands through her short strawberry blonde hair. “Dani, you just don’t know how it was between us.”

The rough edge of pain in Sara’s voice had Dani leading the younger woman over to the couch. “Then tell me about it.”

Where to start, Sara asked herself. Maybe the day they drove to Williamsburg together, and as he’d driven she’d taken him in her mouth, tasting him. Then they’d gone to Fort Cherokee, and talked about going to Powwows together. Or maybe the day she’d gone over his house and he’d shown her his room, with all his alien encounter books, and she’d watched the space shuttle lift-off he’d had on tape. He had sat behind the desk, watching her watch the tape. Bits and pieces of those days flashed through her mind. No, not then. She decided to fast forward a little to the day at the beach…

They had left mid-morning. Sara was dying for a cup of coffee, but decided she could live without one as they sped down the highway. Conversation was light. Every once in a while, Jim would mention something about what they were going to do in the future…hinting at a long life together. Sara shushed him, not wanting to let herself believe that forever would be possible. It couldn’t be…could it?

They picked up submarine sandwiches at this deli he couldn’t stop talking about. Sara wasn’t hungry. Something kept niggling at the back of her mind, a vague sense of uneasiness, but she pushed it away. It was probably guilt that she was out with a married man.

A married man who promised her forever with one look of his hazel eyes.

Their next stop was the Edgar Cayce Center. They walked into the gift shop, and Sara stopped, dark eyes wide. She brushed a long dark strand of hair away from her face. Metaphysical books lined the shelves, along with crystals, stones, and Tarot Cards. She wandered down the aisles, making a mental wish list of books she’d love to have in her collection. Jim watched her, even joined her in perusing several books, but mostly he watched her with that soft smile on his face.

A tour was due to begin soon, so all those interested were asked to go to the Egyptian room. Sara followed Jim to the room, limping as her hip lurched painfully. Something was wrong, she knew, very wrong. The uneasiness washed over her again, and she trembled, fighting to keep her balance. She sat for a moment, but her eyes avidly wandered the walls. The panels at the back of the room were too far away to read, so she carefully rose. “You sure…”

“I’m fine,” she said, brushing away his hands as she wobbled where she stood. Her hip must have popped out. She’d be fine in a moment. She crossed to the back of the room, studying the panels. Once she’d completed them all, she went back to her seat, sinking down gratefully. Her world suddenly tilted dangerously, and one hand went to her head. What the hell was wrong?

“Are you really okay?” he asked.

“I’ll be fine,” she muttered, rubbing her forehead. She would be fine. Maybe it was because she hadn’t eaten yet…yes, that had to be it. Never mind that she’d gone without eating before and this had never happened.

A woman came in, introduced herself as the guide, and proceeded to tell them about Edgar Cayce…the man…the legend. After her introductory spiel, they then moved out into the foyer. Another wave of dizziness swamped Sara, so painfully fast that everything actually went dark for a moment before she leaned on Jim and caught herself. She was tired, near exhausted suddenly. She nearly swayed on her feet. “I think we’d better leave,” she said softly to Jim.

“You sure?”

She nodded, trembling now. He must have felt it because concern filled his hazel eyes. “Please?”

”Let’s go,” he said, his arm around her waist as he led her outside.

Once in the sunlight, she breathed deep. They carefully avoided the woman attempting to meditate nearby and headed straight for the car. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, once they were seated. “It just hit me all at once, and…” she shook her head, at a loss for words. Her mouth was dry so she took a long pull from the drink Jim had bought at the deli.

“It’s okay. We can come back some other time.” He grinned, setting the car in motion. “Probably some energy stealer draining your psychic energy.”

Sara nodded, too tired to argue. The early summer heat felt wonderful. She closed her eyes, leaning back against the seat.

Sara pushed the incident from her mind as Jim parked in the parking garage of the hotel at the beach where he had his time-share. He retrieved his wallet that he’d left behind on a previous trip, and also received a parking pass for his car. Since he owned the time-share, Jim, and his guests when he brought them, had access to the pools and hot-tub.

Sara listened to Jim talk to the concierge, then turned away, her eyes drawn across the street…past the boardwalk. The ocean spread out before her, blue waves rippling and sparkling in the late morning sun. Hard to believe it was already June. Spring had disappeared, and now summer was here.

Jim laid a hand on her shoulder. “Let’s go,” he said, heading for the door.

Yes, summer was here, and it had brought with it a new love for her. She smiled, walking through the door he held open for her. Maybe, finally, things would start going right in her life for a change.

They crossed the street, Sara taking a moment to stroke the pair of bronze turtles they passed. The turtle was one of her totems, one of her guardian spirits. Jim was smiling as he looked at her. “What?” she asked, rejoining him and following him over to a nearby curb.

“Nothing,” he said, still smiling. He sat in the grass, and Sara sat beside him.

As he pulled out the sandwiches, Sara felt something tickling her leg. She looked down and found a ladybug…then another…then another. There were ladybugs everywhere. She giggled as one crawled up her leg. “I think we found a nest,” she chuckled, brushing the bug away.

“Want to sit somewhere else? They’re benches down on the boardwalk.”

She shook her head, taking her sandwich from him. “No, this is fine.” She unwrapped the sandwich, and reached for her drink. A ladybug climbed onto the paper, making a bee-line for the sub. Chuckling, Sara picked it up. “What a little carnivore we are…no roast beef for you.” She blew gently and the ladybug flew away. She caught Jim watching her. “What?” she asked.

He grinned. “Nothing…I just…you.”

She picked up her sandwich. “Me?” she asked, taking a bite. She glanced at him as she chewed. He was grinning.

He nodded. “You.” He didn’t say more, just took a bite of his sandwich.

They ate quietly, but Sara was restless. She put the half eaten sandwich back down on the paper. She had her energy back, and was anxious to go down to the beach. It had been so long! She’d grown up by the beach, but had been away for a few years now. “You almost done?” she asked.

He nodded. “You’re ready? You sure you’re up to it?” She nodded so emphatically, he laughed. “Okay, okay, let’s go…but first we should put this back in the car.”

Her bottom lip puffed out as she uncharacteristically pouted. “But…but…the beach.” Her eyes longing devoured the horizon where blue stretched into forever.

“It’ll only take a minute,” he chuckled, “and I want to show you something.”

She sighed, “oh, all right.” They passed the turtles again, and she stroked them as they passed. “What?” she asked, as Jim grinned at her.

“Nothing,” he said, smiling.

Sara wriggled her nose, following behind him.


Part Three