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I bit my thumb nail nervously as the plane skidded to a stop, in Spain. My parents had moved to Spain because of a job transfer and I had stayed back in the states. My dance was there. Dance was my life and all my time was occupied with it.
I hadn’t seen my parents in more then a year, although I kept in close contact with them. Well, mainly with my little sister, Brittany.
Brittany had just had her 18th birthday and was graduating from high school within the next month. That was one of the reasons I had come.
I gathered up my things and walked swiftly off the plane and into the airport. I was ready to see a familiar face.
“Nicky, sweetie! Over here!” I heard my father call.
A second later I saw him and jogged over to all my family. I was engulfed in loving arms, enjoying every second of it.
We chatted as we gathered all my suitcases and were finally loaded in the car.
“Honey, How is dance going?” My mom asked.
“As good as pure training can get. I need to meet someone that can help me get a job. Even if it is just for a tiny place.” I replied .
“You’ll meet someone. I know you will!” Brittany encouraged.
“Thanks, sis. But it’s harder then it sounds.”
We arrived at home within an hour. My ears were ringing from my sister’s talking.
All she talked about was the Backstreet Boys and she had tickets and they were really good seats.
I listened patiently and the only thing I seemed to remember was which one was which.
~ ~ ~
After two weeks it was as if things had fallen into a normal routine. Accept that every now and then, I would stop at a corner coffee shop.
One foggy afternoon I had stopped at the coffee shop and two familiar guys walked in. The confusing thing was, I had never met them in my life.
I slowly walked over towards them and one of them turned around. He looked straight at me.
“Hi!” He smiled.
“Hi..you’re Howie right?” I asked a little grateful for my sister’s obsession.
“Yeah. What’s your name? Since you already seem to know mine.” He teased.
“Nicky, Nicky Carter.” I stated.
“Are you a major Nick fan?” he questioned a little disgusted.
“No, no, no! I’m not. That really is my real name!”
“Okay, that is weird!”
I turned away slightly embarrassed. I had never thought about my name being so close to Nick’s. I should have told him my first name, Sara.
“Do you live here in Spain?” Howie asked changing the subject.
No, my family does, but I live in Tampa, Florida. Taking dance.”
He coughed in amazement.
“You live in Tampa!? Nick come stand by Nicky.”
Nick walked over beside me smiling.
“So your name is Nicky. You look a lot like me, too. You’re just short.” Nick finished.
“Thanks!” I muttered.
“Nick, do you have a twin or something you never told us about?” Howie questioned.
“No! I’ve never seen her in my life!”Nick exclaimed.
“Okay, Nick you’re 19. Nicky you’re 19, too......”
He was about to go on but I interrupted. “No, no, no! I’m not 19!” I hated my height at times.
“What! You aren’t 19!” Howie stammered. “Are you 18, 17?”
“No, I’m 24.”
Wew! Then we’re not twins!” Nick pointed out.
“You are! I still believe you are!” Howie defended.
“Fine whatever you want!” I said walking over to my booth. Howie and Nick both followed me and sat down in front of me.
“So, how’s life?” Howie asked.
“Fine, I’m going to you guys concert tonight.” No clue where our seats are. My little sister got the tickets.”
“I’ll look for you. I’ll only see you if you’re close to the stage though.” Howie smiled.
All of sudden, my watch beeped one ’clock.
“Oh! Sorry guys! I gotta run! My sister and I have a few things to do, then we’re heading for the concert.” I apologized.
“Hey! What’s your e-mail address?” Nick asked as a huge smile spread across his face.
“D4life@hotmail.com.” (These are not real e-mail addresses!) I replied as I watched him scribble it down on a napkin.
“Got it! Mine is NC64@yahoo.com . Howie’s is OrlH@yahoo.com .” Nick mumbled as he wrote that down for me. He ripped the napkin in two, handing me the other half.
“E-mail us and tell us how the concert is!” Howie begged giving my hand a fair-well squeeze. Nick leaned over and gave me a hug. I jogged out the door and was in my car quickly.
“Oh shoot!” In muttered. “Brittany will kill me! I didn’t get their autographs.” I arrived at home with Brittany waiting patiently on me. I decided not to bring up my previous conversation with the guys.
“I’m ready sis!” She exclaimed. I looked at her array of BSB articles. A BSB shirt from last year’s tour, tatoos at the top of her arms, and tiny other details. “I saved the last tatoo for you. It’s one of Howie, I remembered that you always preferred him over the others.” Brittany smiled.
I never remembered telling her that. I’ve never had a favorite. But the thought of wearing a picture of Howie on my arm, since I met him, was a bit scarey. I decided to not make my sister aggravated and didn’t argue.
<> <> <>
We arrived at the concert one and half hour early. I hadn’t looked at the tickets yet, I didn’t see a need to.
“Brittany why are we here so early?” I asked.
“To make sure no one steals our seats!” She replied. She had already bought what she wanted of this year’s tour merchandise and was loaded down even more.
“Brittany, you’re leading us to the wrong seats!” I exclaimed as we walked closer and closer to the stage.
“No, I’m not!” She replied grabbing my hand and pulling me to the front row.
“I’m sure you’re wrong now! “I cried. “Come on, let’s get to our seats before we get in trouble!”
“Look at the tickets and tell me if I’m wrong!” She fished around in her purse and pulled out the ticket stubs. Sue enough, I read the tickets. Not only did they say front row seats, but also backstage passes for after the concert.
“Where are the passes?” I questioned.
“Here,” she replied and handed me the necklace pass. I slipped it around my neck and settled into my seat with my millennium glow stick in hand.
“I didn’t tell you cause I wanted it to be a surprise!” Brittany smiled.
“ Well, it sure is! A huge surprise!” I laughed. All of a sudden an idea popped into my head. “What if Nick and Howie don’t remember me? What if they thought I was just another girl? Well this would be a test for them.” I sighed.
“What?” Brittany asked.
“Oh nothing.” I answered. I had forgot that she was beside me. “I’m just ready for the concert to start.”
By now all the seats beside us had been filled and the opening act was due to appear in 45 minutes.
“Hi, I’m Melonie.” A red head beside me announced.
“Hi Melonie, I’m Nicky. Before you ask, it is my real name.”
“Cool, you look a lot like Nick, too. Just short compared to him.”
“That’s what he said.” I muttered under my breath. No one heard me and couldn’t tell I said anything. My name was one disadvantage when it came to BSB fans. They all though I loved him so much. Now that i think of it, he was a pretty nice guy. Well, cute too.
My sister and I started talking while we watched the stage crew set up EYC’s props. Before to long the lights dimmed and the stage kit up. Three guys walked out and up on top of the circular stage. The music blared out of the speakers and voices joined in with it. I felt all the excitement bubbling up in my body.
EYC’s act was over before I could blink. But, I remembered that the one with black hair had come over nera us and grabbed mine and my sister’s hand. I wasn’t totally excited over that because I didn’t care for them that much. But still, that thrill of touching someone famous was in me.
Mandy Moore was awesome and she looked so cute too. Her voice was so soothing and she could dance great. Mandy’s ast felt even shorter then EYC’s. I was disappointed when I saw her walk down the stairs to go back under the stage.
The Sear’s commercial that BSB had made blew up on the big screens. It was enjoyable and quit funny. But I just wanted the guys to get up on the stage.
Eventually the dancers took their places while the Star Wars theme filled the packed arena. Their costumes reflected the bright lights, and I could see the silver costumes outline their figure. I looked over to the huge black box, there hovering over it were the five guys we had waited so long to see. They flew to the stage strapped to their space boards.
“Oh my gosh!” I whispered as my sister smiled at me.
There were only two things that I remembered. Howie brought flowers out on stage and threw them to screaming fans. He spotted me as I caught one of them. He smiled right at me, and looked into my eyes as best he could through all the bright lights. I looked back at Howie as Nick walked over to him. Nick smiled as he sang when he saw me. But after a second or two it was all over.
“Sis, what was that all about?” Brittany asked nudging me out of my daze.
“Oh nothing. I’m not sure, but wasn’t that cool?” I asked.
“Yeah it was. Not only did you catch the flower that Howie kissed, but he looked at you, so did Nick!” She exclaimed.
I smiled at her . As the rest of the concert whizzed by, I found myself holding Howie’s flower close to my heart.
<> <> <>
“Right in that room.” A security guard directed. My sister and I calmly walked in.
“Hey girls!” Kevin welcomed.
“Hey,” was all I said.
“Is your name Nicky?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“Howie told me about you.” Kevin explained.
I smiled and walked farther into the room.
“What was that all about?” Brittany asked.
“Hold on!” I murmured.
“Nicky!” Howie cried. “Nick, look! Your twin has returned!”
“Hey Howie. This is my sister Brittany.”
“Hey Brittany. You didn’t know you had backstage passes?” Nick questioned.
“It was a surprise!” Brittany told them.
“Awwwww! You love me don’t you?” Howie exclaimed as he saw the tatoo on my arm.
I smirked. “Yeah you know it!”
“That’s not a good picture anyways.” He mumbled.
“Go talk to all your other fans.” I demanded. “I’ll wait for you here.” I watched as my sister went with them. All the fans nearby were screaming , snapping pictures, and thrusting magazines pages into their hands to sign. I couldn’t understand how they lived with it all, almost every day.
About an hour passed and my sister had come back over beside me.
"Spill it!” She demanded of me.
“Okay, okay. Today right before we left I was at the coffee shop. Howie and Nicked walked in and we just started talking.”
“And you didn’t tell me, why?”
“Because I forgot to get their autographs and I knew you would kill me.”
“No I wouldn’t!”
“Brittany! If we didn’t have the backstage passes, you would have!” I told her.
“Yeah, yeah. You’re right I would have.” She mumbled.
“So you’re Nicky! Nick’s twin, right Howie? Howie has told us all about you!” Brian stated.
“Yes, but I’m not Nick’s twin!” I whined.
“Face it! You’re stuck with it, Twin!” AJ teased.
All five were standing in front of Brittany and me.
“So....” I hesitated.
“Where do you live? We’ll stop by for a second.” Howie said.
“We will?” Kevin quizzed.
“Yeah! Just for a sec!” Nick defended.
“Actually you guys will just come on the bus and hang out now, then go home!”
“That sounds better.” Kevin replied. We all agreed and climbed on the bus.
“Come on, Nicky!”My best friend Melissa called over her shoulder.
We were running late for dance class. Mrs. Mitchell hates tardiness.
Brittney had graduated and was enjoying her summer although she already had her scholarship for academics and wasn’t sure what she wanted to be yet.
“I’m coming, I’m coming!” I groaned jogging behind her.
“Hey, you’re almost late!” Becky yelled from the back of the room.
“Thanks we hadn’t noticed!” I replied sarcastically.
“What kept ya?” Becky asked raising her eyebrows.
“A phone call.” I had been on the phone with Howie. In my last e-mail I had given him my phone number and if I was lucky if I got one call from him each week.
“Who?” She kept asking.
“None of your business I defended. I hadn’t told anybody about Howie and it had been over two months.
“Okay, lets get started.” Mrs. Mitchell called from the front of the room.
<> <> <>
“Hard class.” Angel said collapsing down beside me.
“Yeah!” I breathed. It had been close to a four hour class. Sweat was pouring off my body and a shower was calling my name.
“Well. I’m gonna had home. Do you wanna get together on Friday?” Angel asked grabbing her bag.
“Sorry, can’t I have something already planned.” Howie had asked if I could meet him at the airport and then we’d do something at his apartment. Un fortunately he shares it with Brian and Kevin.
“Oh, okay. Maybe another day?”
“Okay! Sounds great!” I said trying to sound cheerful. It was Wednesday night and my heart was already aching for it to be Friday.
I arrived at my dorm, which I shared with Melissa, with a message on the answer machine from Brittany. I decided to call her back.
“Hello,” her voice answered.
“Hey sis! Can’t chat long. What did ya need?”
“Nothing really. Just wanted to know if you had heard from the guys.”
“Yeah, Howie called before dance. All the guys talked to me too.”
“I hope everything goes good between you two.
“Thanks!” I smiled. “He’s invited me to something with him Friday.”
“Cool, gotta run and study. I’ll talk to you later. Love you Nicky!”
“Love you too, bye!”
We both hung up and just then Melissa walked into the room.
“Hey! Please say that it wasn’t ‘Mr. Mystery again!” Melissa groaned.
“No, Brittany.”
“Well. I’m heading for bed.”
“I’m right behind you,” I mumbled. I took a quick shower and within 30 minutes was sound asleep.
<> <> <>
“Hey Nick! Whatcha doing?” Brian asked.
“Calling home to tell mom about Nicky and how close she is to me!”
“You mean Twin?”
“Shut up.” Nick mumbled as he punched in the buttons on the phone. Brian walked off with a chuckle.
“Hello?” Aaron picked up.
“Aaron let me talk to mom.”
“Hold on Nick. Mom Nick is on the phone!” Aaron yelled practically in the phone. Nick heard his mom mumble something then pick up the phone.
“Hey Nick! How is everything going?”
“Fine we’ll get home on Friday.”
“Are you going to stay in Tampa?”
“Yeah for a while. Guess what!”
“Surprise me!” Mrs. Carter said.
“Howie and I met this girl named Nicky Carter.”
“Why does that name sound so familiar?”
“It does?”
“Yeah, describe her to me,” Mrs. Carter asked.
“Well, she has blonde hair that’s straight down to her shoulders, but the ends curl under. Blue eyes a lot like mine. Oh yeah, her hair is the same color blonde as mine. Her complexion is the same as mine. Her body is muscular from dance, but she is still so petite.”
“Ohh! She sounds so familiar!” Mrs. Carter complained unable to remember who exactly she was. “Does she live in Tampa, but her parents live in Spain?”
“Yeah....”
“I haven’t seen any of them since she was two! It was before you were born. We never kept in contact because we never knew each other very good. I guess they forgot about us.”
“Are you sure? And what are rambling on about?”
“If her name is Sara Nichole Carter. Yeah.”
“I don’t know her full name. I’ll ask her Friday.”
“We only saw them once and it was 22 years ago. The only reason I remember is because I took a picture. You know how I am with pictures.”
“Yeah,” Nick laughed. “Well, I’ll ask her. But why did we see her the first time?”
“It was at a family reunion.”
“What?!?!” Nick exclaimed stunned.
“You two are fifth cousins.” Mrs. Carter replied calmly.
“Cool! No wonder she looks so much like me...or me like her!” Nick laughed.
“I guess. Well I gotta run fix dinner. I’ll talk to you later Nick. Love you.”
“Love you too. Bye mom.”! Nick replied and hung up the phone still stunned from what he had found out.
“Hey, Nick...Nick...NICK!!” Howie yelled as he nudged Nick’s shoulder.
“Oh sorry. What Howie?”
“Nothing. Just walking to the front of the bus and were just staring at well..I dunno!”
“Do you know Nicky’s full name?”
“Yeah why?”
“Just tell me and I’ll tell you why.” Nick demanded.
“Sara Nichole Carter. Nicky has been her nick-name since she was seven. Nick what’s wrong with you?!” Howie exclaimed. Nick’s eyes had opened wide and his jaw dropped.
“Wow!” he breathed. “It’s true! Nicky and I are related.
“What?!” Howie exclaimed.
Nick dialed his mom up one more time.
“Hello?” Mrs. Carter answered.
“It is her mom! But how did you know her parents moved to Spain? Howie told us they only moved there five years ago.”
“It was announced at one of the reunions. I guess they told other relatives, and they told us. They never came to a reunion, besides the one when Sara..”
“Nicky, mom” Nick corrected.
“Whatever, they never came back since Nicky was two. Nick, I really gotta go!”
“I know, I know! I just had to ask you that/ Bye.” Nick finished and hung up the phone.
“That’s amazing.” Howie whispered. “That’s weird too!”
<> <> <>
“AJ, Kevin, Brian!” I exclaimed although not too loudly for fear of their discovery.
“Hey Nicky. How has your dance been?” AJ inquired.
“Tiring, but great. Where’s the rest of the gang?”
“Coming slowly and surely,” Kevin stated.
“They’ve been talking about something since Wednesday and won’t let us on!” Brian complained.
“Sorry, nothing I can do!” I apologized.
“Nicky!” Howie yelled, yet quietly jogging over to me. His carry-on bag fell to the ground and he wrapped me in his arms for a hug.
“Okay we’ll now tell you our secret. We had to tell Nicky, too!” Nick explained.
Howie had stopped hugging me and was just holding my hand.
“Nicky, me and you are related!” Nick announced.
“You’re joking!” I gasped.
“No. I don’t want to go through the long story, but trust me! It’s true.” Nick ran over to me and gave me a huge hug that jerked me off the ground.
“We’re fifth cousins, Twin!” He exclaimed as we twirled around.
“Come on we need to leave before we are spotted.” Kevin suggested.
“Yeah, I don’t feel like running.” AJ agreed.
“We got their luggage in no time and were trying figure out transportation.
“Since I’m going to Howie’s, I’ll take Howie, Brian and Kevin with me.” I offered.
“That’s fine. Nick and I will catch a cab.” AJ told us walking away.
“See you guys later!” I called as walked in the direction I had parked my car.
Howie had come up with me again and grabbed my hand. Although I don’t know how through all the luggage he held. I had offered to carry some, but wouldn’t let me.
<><><>
“Okay, I’m gonna unpack and then I’ll be yours for the night.” Howie said after Kevin and Brian had gone to their rooms.
“Just for tonight?!” I whined.
“Maybe for longer.”
He left and I collapsed on the couch. I waited about 20 minutes and soon after Howie came out of his room.
“I’m now settled in my own room for a while.” He announced.
“That’s great.” I smiled looking up at him. Howie came over beside me and pulled me in his arms.
“We’ve never been alone before.” He whispered.
“I noticed.” I murmured in return.
Howie leaned over and kissed me and continued to for a good while.
“Come on Howie! Don’t rush things! We both have major things in our lives.” I reasoned.
“I know, you’re right. Will you be my girlfriend?” He asked.
It was as if the question had come out of nowhere, which it had.
“Yes Howie. That still doesn’t mean I’ll go any faster!”
“I know! We’re not going to go any faster.” He promised.
“Why are all the major things happening to me today?”
“I don’t know! I just couldn’t wait to ask you any longer.”
“Nicky?” Brian yelled as he came into the room.
“What B-rok?”
“Did you know that you are my age?” Brian knew that I didn’t know much about them at all, besides Howie of course.
“No, Brian I didn’t.”
“Why didn’t you g out with me instead?”
“I guess Howie just got to me first!” I teased. Brian smiled, he knew that I liked Howie a lot.
“Wait, what do you mean he got to you first?” He questioned confused. I just hide my face in Howie’s shirt.
“I just asked her out.” Howie said.
“Cool!” Brian exclaimed. “I’ll go spread the good news!”
“No you won’t!” Howie and I both yelled.
“I was just kidding! Man, no one can take any humor around here!” He muttered under his breath and walked out of the living room.
<><><>
“Hey babe!” Howie said as I picked up the phone. He was gone at practice and I had just finished dance for the night.
“Hey Howie. Are you on a break?”
“Yeah. Come on over and see everyone.”
“Noo! I just got back from dance. And you know that it’s not that short of a drive to Orlando, babe.”
“Okay, okay. Here, Bri wants to talk to you.” Howie finished as he handed the phone to his band mate.
“Yo girl! You’re leaving lover-boy all alone.”
“Oh hush Brian. You know what I just remembered?”
“What?”
“You and Lieghanne just started going back out, right?”
“Well, yeah.
“That’s cool!” I exclaimed.
“What’s so cool about it?”
“Double dates!”
“Well you could go with Nick or Mandy or AJ and Amanda,” He pointed out.
“So you’re B-rok! You’re da bomb! Besides Howie that is.” I quickly added.
“Thanks a lot. Here’s your lover.”
“Hey Howie. We should double with Brian and Lieghanne one day.”
“Yeah, why not?! I gotta go dance before Fatima kills me. Love ya Nicky.
“Love ya too, Sweet D.” I replied and hung up the phone . Now that I think back on it, I never saw the guy’s girlfriends that much. I was always gone with dance or they were gone doing their own thing. So that just shows that is you know the Backstreet Boys you’ll have a very busy schedule.
<><><>
After a year and the guys were polishing things up for a quick performance, so much changed. Howie and I had gotten engaged in a sweet romantic way. It was the best thing in my life, but I don’t want to go into mushy detail. What was weird, was that all the guys weren’t phased a bit by it. It was as if they were expecting it to happen. But what was even weirder was that Nick had almost become brother that I never had since he found out that we were cousins. The more we hung out together the more we would say things at the exact same times, even if we were in completely different conversations with different people!
“Nicky, I have a small opportunity to get you a real good job. At least for a few months and you would travel a lot.” Howie explained to me over the phone.
“Cool, when will I find out?” Just then Melissa walked in the door.
“Are you on the phone with Mr. Mystery-who-you-are-engaged-with?”
“Shhh!” I whispered and nodded my head yes. “Tonight at 8:45, I’ll meet you at your studio and we’ll everything final and arranged, correct? Okay, talk to you then..I love you too. Bye!” I hung up the phone and looked at Melissa.
“What was that all about?” She asked.
“Oh, just that I could get a job tonight!” I exclaimed jumping up and grabbing her hand.
“So, you’re just going to leave little old me here all alone?”
“Um..yeah. I’ve been training for too many years to pass this up!”
“True, well good luck and I hope that everything works out for you.” She, encouraged. “Well, it’s seven so you better hurry and go do whatever you need to be doing.”
“Oh gosh!. I better leave . I’m ready for whatever I need dance wise.” I smiled a nervous smile. I ran out of the dorm and slide into the driver’s seat of my car and started up the engine. Mandy Moore’s CD blared out of the speakers, number nine my favorite, was where I had left it. “I’m not too young to know...” I sang along. By the time I listened to the whole CD I was at the studio.
Howie and surprising everyone else, was waiting on me at the front door. I parked and jogged over to where they were waiting.
“Hey guys! Come to wish me luck?”
“Plus, we have work to do after your interview,” Howie said as he walked over and gave me a kiss.
“What all do I need?” I asked.
“Oh, not much. We’ll just talk and then you’ll dance. You did bring some dance music with you, right?” Kevin explained.
“Yeah,” I walked into the studio’s dance room and stretched out. Within five minuted, my whole gang for the evening was gathered. Mike was my interviewer’s name. He was very nice and friendly. I could tell I had no reason to be nervous.
“So Nicky, Howie has told me most of the things I need to know, but tell me about your dancing life.”
“Well, I’ve been dancing for over 15 years. I believe 18 years exactly. I trained in all the local studios and even had many leads in some of the productions. I was on scholarship at college, but I just stay there to improve my dance till I get a job. Then I’m off!”
We talked for about an hour more. Odds and inns about my dance, family, preferences for my style and what I could do.
“Well, that’s quite interesting. Could you do one of your routines for me?” He inquired.
“Sure,” I smiled. This is what I was nervous about. I had brought the music for one of my hardest routines. I walked over to the CD and inserted my CD. My finger turned up the volume and skipped to the right number. I jogged to center of the dance floor, hitting my beginning pose for only a few seconds before the music started.
My body put all the emotions I felt into the movements. Showing them with was in my heart on the outside, expressing them openly to my audience. I jumped high in the air, as I landed my foot hit wrong. I don’t know how I did it, but my leg still in the air turned me around. So, as I landed, I did a double turn then slide into my split for the ending pose.I collapsed over my leg to catch my breathe and quickly sat back up.
“That was great!” Mike exclaimed. “You’ve got the job.
“Now who is it exactly for?” Howie asked for me, since he could still tell I was stunned and breathless.
“I know you’ll love this,” Mike sarcastically smiled. “But it’s our first time putting dancers with this group.
“Who’s the group?” Brian hesitated to ask.
“N Sync,” was the one word Mike mumbled.
“I really want the job. Would you guys mind if I take it?” I asked really directing the question towards Howie.
“No!”He exclaimed although there was a look of sadness in his eyes. All of the others agreed for his sake.
<><><>
“Howie, I’m really going to miss you,” I murmured as I slipped my arm through his and leaned against him. He pulled me tight against him. I felt his comforting hand on my waist, his head leaned on mine.
“I’ll miss who too, Nicky. But we’ll see each other again.” By this time we were alone outside as the stars glistened in the night sky. Howie stopped walking and turned me to face him. “Don’t ever stop taking jobs because you want to be where I am! I’ll always be here for you!” He told me gently. “You’re extremely talented and you have so much waiting in-store for you.”
“I know,” I sighed as I leaned against his chest. He held me tight as he leaned down and kissed me.
“I love you,” he whispered as he drew away.
“I love you, too.” I whispered in return. We held each other close and star gazed for a while later.
“Howie!” Nick yelled. “We’re starting practice!”
“Bye!” Howie yelled as he jogged off.
I watched him leave and wondered if my choice, to go dance for N Sync, was the right thing to do. Practice started tomorrow and then tour lasted for five months. I sighed as I walked to my car, got in and drove off.
I walked up to the studios front door, dance- bag in hand, and nervously pushed them open.
“Hey, Nicky!" A voice called in the spacious dance room.
“Hello,” I replied unable to hide my nervousness.
“I’m Justin,” A curly bleached bond guy announced.
“Well, I guess you already know my name.”
“I’m Lance,” another blonde with spiked hair and a friendly smile said.
“JC,” A dark brown headed tall fellow told me.
“Chris, that’s Joey.” A weird guy with braids said as he pointed to yet another brown headed guy.
“Wow,” I gasped looking at how different each one appeared. My cell phone rang and I quickly picked it up, knowing it was Howie. “Yellow...yeah...I’m fine...uh huh...tonight...okay...I promised...bye.” Howie had made me promise not to even say a word that I had a boyfriend..let alone that we were engaged. But at times it was hard for me to remember that.
“Who was it?” Justin asked.
“Just a friend.”
“Okay cool. Well we need to get busy so we’ll get done sooner.”
I met yet many more people, dancers choreographers, producers and the list could go on and on for days.
They paired me up Lance for the first dance. He smiled at me as he grabbed my hand spinning me around, copying the choreographer. We continued to dance for three more hours and amazingly enough we finished the choreography for “Tearin’ Up My Heart”
“Okay, lets learn all of “I Want You Back”.” The choreographer told all of us.
“You’ll have different partners too.” He continued. He start telling everyone their match, I was with JC.
I looked up at him, as he smiled down at me. There was a look in his eyes that I couldn’t quite place at the moment, but I knew I had seen it before.
For some odd reason, JC’s moves were clumsy, but with is last partner he was sharp and hyper. I didn’t quite understand at the moment, but the answer would come quicker then I thought.
<><><>
“Hey, Nicky.” Howie smiled as I walked into her apartment. Brian and Kevin were sitting with him on the couch.
“Hey, whatcha watchin’?” I inquired as Howie pulled me in his lap.
“Nice to see again.” Brian exclaimed as my foot hit is leg.
“Sorry, B-rok.” I mumbled.
“I’m heading to bed.” Kevin whispered as he nudged Brian and went to the back.
“I’m following.” Brian grumbled.
After they both left Howie looked at me as he asked, “So how are the guys?”
“They’re fine. There was something about JC that was weird.”
“He was probably staring at your beauty!”
“Yeah right! You know...” before I could finish he leaned over and kissed me.
“You’re beautiful to me. Just be careful, okay?”
“I will, I will.” The rest of the night, we sat and watched TV. Both of us were tired but not wanting to leave the other. Eventually I left, getting only six hours of sleep before I was back at the studio.
“Hey Nicky, you look extremely tired!” JC commented as a look of concern crossed his face.
“I’m a little bit tired. But I got a good bit of sleep.’
“Okay. Well, we have three more dances they want to get done with today and we’re also going over the two we learned yesterday.” He told me as he put his arm around my shoulder.
“Hey Nicky!” Justin yelled as I walked into the room with JC. As last time my cell phone rang.
“Hello...oh he asked you to call for him...busy...she’s working on choreography with him...okay yeah...bye.” It was AJ oddly enough. Howie had asked him to all me.
“Who was it this time?” Justin nosily asked.
“Just a friend!”
“Are you sure? I could promise whoever it is, is more then ‘just a friend’.”
“That’s all and mind your own business!” I exclaimed slipping off my tank top to reveal my dance top. It had a red stripe around the bottom and red straps, but everything else was black. The pants were black except for a red stripe at the waist.
“That’s cute!” JC complimented eyeing me up and down.
<><><>
The two months passed quickly as we learned so many dances. Howie had left for tour a month ago, but he called quite often.
“Let’s load it up!” Joey yelled as we all climbed onto our separate buses. Dancers in one and the guys in the other.
We arrived at our first destination that afternoon. All of us were ready to stretch our legs. I had made good friends with all the dancers. But what was really weird was, Backstreet Boys were often mentioned in our conversations.
“Oh gosh! I really wish I could meet those guys!” Trisha told us.
“Yeah. I would rather be their dancer. Fatima does a really good job with their choreography.” Courtney explained.
I sighed as I walked away over towards the guys. JC dropped his arm across my shoulders. “What’s up?”
“Nothing much. Just bored.”
“Well, lets go for a walk.” he offered.
“Why not.” I agreed. He led me off the stage, into the now empty audience. We just walked and I didn’t realize we were pretty far from everyone. JC turned me to face him and I figured out what it was I noticed about it. He liked me as more then a friend. That look in his eyes was love. Why towards me? There were plenty of other girls. But if I ask him that about me, I should ask the same question to myself about Howie.
“No, JC.” I mumbled and pulled away.
“Why not?!” He exclaimed. I saw a look of disappointment and surprise in his eyes.
“Because I don’t want to. I gotta get back with the other dancers” That was all I said and jogged off. I hated just leaving him there, but there was no other solution that came to my head.
“Hey Nicky! Where did you go?” Beth inquired.
“Took a walk.
“Guess what?!” Stacey interrupted.
“Surprise me.” I mumbled knowing it was something to do with Backstreet Boys. All of a sudden my cell phone rang.
“Hey,” Howie’s voice exclaimed.
“Hey babe!”
“We’re on live tonight.”
“Cool, what station?”
“MTV. You better watch.I have something I’m gonna say if the question is asked. Which I know it will.”
“And it is what?!”
“Watch and see!” Was his response with no other words.
“We’re gonna watch MTV tonight!” Beth announced.
“Yeah, whatever.” I mumbled.
We started a quick practice, which was soon over. We got dressed for the concert, and then waited and rested in a quiet room while the guys had a meet and greet. I was nervous. All the girls eyes would inspect each dance move to make sure I didn’t get to close the “their guy”. If I did, well there went any chance of favor in their eyes. I knew from Brittany.
Before I knew it, we were up on stage. Hundreds of voices screamed out names of guys that I knew they would die for. A sensation filled my body. Bright light shining in my eyes s their heat also warmed my bare arms. Justin popped up beside as I felt his arms go around my waist to start the dance. His energy flowed into me, his singing was loud but I didn’t care. I was fulfilling my dream.
After an hour my body was pouring with sweat. I was glad to change into another outfit.
“Oh my gosh!” Trisha screamed as we walked onto the tour bus. “That was awesome!”
I smiled up at her from the bottom of the bus stairs. I raised my foot to step up when my name was called.
“Nicky!” Lance called.
“Yeah?”
“JC wants to talk to you.”
“Okay,” I mumbled. “He’s so annoying!” I jogged over to him. “Hurry, I gotta get back on the bus. Something special is on MTV tonight.”
“Slow down girl. We’ve got a while.” He whispered. He stepped close to me and that look appeared in his eyes.
“Stop now!” I fiercely demanded. He stopped very quickly.
“What is it with you?”
“Bye JC.” I jogged away and on the bus. All four of the other dancers were around the TV in their pajamas.
“It’s about to come on! Hurry Nicky!” Courtney exclaimed
“I was sitting with them in five minutes, all ready for bed. I sat down just as I heard Carson introduce the Backstreet Boys. They walked onto the screen, and my heart melted as I saw Howie smile. They all mumbled their hellos, while taking their seat.
“Hey, Nick, Howie, Brian, Kevin, and AJ. Thanks for coming,” Carson welcomed.
“We’re glad that we could come.” Brian replied.
“Okay. How has this year’s tour been for all you guys?”
“Well, most of the time it’s been really good.” Howie remarked. Nick agreed and the others followed. They were asked many more questions. Every time I glanced at the other four girls, their eyes were riveted on the TV screen.
“So, this is a question I know all of your fans want to hear.” I heard Carson’s voice explain. “Do you guys have girlfriends?”
My eyes widened and I drew my breather in, sort of hoping Howie wouldn’t say anything.
Brian was the first to come out with Lieghanne. Nick and AJ soon followed with their girlfriends. I saw AJ’s eyes question Howie. Howie’s smile spread across his face as he answered. “Yeah, I have a girlfriend.” Voluntarily he added, “She’s one of the dancers with N Sync.
“Really?” Carson chuckled.
“Yeah.”
“Did you meet her before she danced with them?”
“Yeah, we went out before then.” Howie’s eyes, saddened. I missed him and his eyes showed the same for me. “I love you Twin!” He said as a smile returned to his face. I smiled in return although I knew he couldn’t see me.
“Oh my gosh!” Trisha yelled. “Howie’s my boyfriend. I can’t believe that he just told the whole world!”
I sighed in disgust. I could tell all the girls believed her. No one knew that truth. All of them knew I got aggravated whenever they talked about Backstreet Boys. But really, I longed to fell Howie’s arms around me.
“That’s sooo cool!” Courtney exclaimed. “Is he sweet?”
“Yeah, and he’s so romantic.”
“I wish I were you!” Stacey sighed.
“Night ya’ll,” I mumbled and walked to my bunk. As I went to sleep, I heard them all exclaiming over Trisha. It made me sick to listen to them, but before long I fell asleep.
<><><>
“Come on ya’ll, dance! Put your spirit in it!” The choreographer yelled. Rehearsal, had been going on for about three hours and there was no sign of it stopping anytime soon. The guys were sitting in front of the mirror watching us girls practice our moves. The music had gone off just in time for me to hear my cell phone ring.
“Lance, could you get that for me? It might be important.” I asked.
“Yeah sure. Hello?” Lance questioned, into the phone.
“Hey Twin! Wait.....what happened to your voice? Who is this?”
“Nick?” It’s Lance. Why are you calling Nicky?”
“Cause she’s my cousin and because Howie wants to talk to her.”
“Why would Howie want to talk to her? I thought he went with Trisha.”
“Who’s Trisha?” Nick asked completely surprised and starting to get confused.
“I was just kidding,” Lance exclaimed embarrassed. He narrowed his eyes and looked in my direction. I knew he had found out. I smiled meekly and shrugged my shoulders. “Nicky, you cousin is on the phone!” Lance yelled across the room at me. As he handed the phone to me he whispered, “Howie lover.”
“Shut up!” I mumbled back. I walked over towards the corner of the room. “Hello?”
“Hey baby!” Howie’s voice greeted my ears from the other end.
“I thought my cousin was here!”
“He was, but his stomach was calling.”
“Great, so now his stomach is more important then me?”
“Yeah, but you know it’s not that way with me.” He soothed. I rolled my eyes, but continued on. “So how was your night sweetie?” Howie asked.
“Great. By the way....you’re dead baby.”
“Why? What did I do?”
“Nothing. Except for the fact that you could have told the nation what my name is, because of now you and Trisha are together.”
“Oh Howie...”Nick mumbled through a mouth full of food. “Who’s Trisha?”
Silence echoed through the phone, till Howie broke it by asking the other three,” How do the twins do it? Brain waves are something? Gosh!”
“What?” Brian asked.
“Did they same thing at almost the exact same time?” AJ recited from how used to it he had become.
“Yeah! They’re at it again. Anyway....”
“Hello!?! Howie I’m still here and I’m holding up rehearsal.” I chimed in on their little conversation.
“I know baby, I’m sorry oh..and..I’m really sorry about last night.” He apologized.
“I know you are, but you’re still dead.”
“I love you though.”
“I know you do and I love you. But I’m still gonna kill you!”
“Nicky!” He pleaded.
“Bye Howie. I gotta go.” I hung up. As I turned around Lance looked right at me. I placed my finger over my lips, he understood not to tell anyone.
“Come back to practice!” The choreographer yelled.
Luckily this dance was with Lance. As he grabbed my hand he felt the ring on my finger. It was simple, but still beautiful to me. Howie had told me he hadn’t wanted anything really flashy. The ring was still more decorated then any of my others.
“Are you?” Lance questioned, not daring to finish the sentence.
“Yeah, no one else knows besides the guys and now you.”
“I won’t tell. Promise.”
“You read my mind for my next order.” I teased.
“Okay, here we go. Let’s try it again. Then we’ll do the whole show. Dancing. No singing.” The choreographer announced. We did the dance again and we were graciously allowed a five minute break before the entire run through.
“You know you have a three day break starting tomorrow.” Lance told me.
“Yeah, so.”
“Why don’t you fly out to where ever he is?”
“You must be crazy!” I yelled.
“You love him, don’t you?”
“Yeah....”
“Hey you guys! Whatcha talking about?”
“Uh...hey JC,” I mumbled.
“Are you going to go or not?”
“Hush, Lance! Yes, I’ll go!”
“Good, lets go get ready,” He said grabbing my arm. He pulled me to the door and would have kept going, but JC stopped us.
“Wait! We still have practice.”
“Awww man!” Lance complained.
“Sorry Lance. Your idea will just have to wait.” I teased him. I walked out onto the dance floor and got in my beginning pose. I stood there, waiting on everyone else to get ready. Soon the music started and Justin was beside me once again.
Amazingly we did the whole thing, with corrections, in under two hours. We cut out anything in the show that didn’t have dancing.
“Come on Nicky! Lets go!” Lance whispered in my ear.
“Go where?”
“Grab your stuff. We’re gonna call the airport and get you a ticket to where ever they are for tomorrow morning.”
We got to our bus and were standing outside. I called Brian on his cell phone to find out where they were.
“Yellow?”
“Hey B-rok. Where are you guys right now?”
“In Germany.”
“Will you be there tomorrow morning?”
“Yeah, Why?”
“I’m flying to meet you all of you for a day or two!”
“Cool, let me tell...”
“No, no, no! I want you to pick me up at the airport. You know surprise him.
“Ohhh! Okay!” Brian filled me in on the details of everything going on. We called the airport and got a five o’clock flight. We called Brian back talk him when I would land.
“Okay, now that all this is settled, I’m going to pack, then go to bed.”
“I’d say goodbye to everyone first. Especially, JC.”
“Fine!” I sighed and walked away. The dancers were easy to say bye to, well till Trisha got there.
“Where are you going?” She inquired.
“Germany.” I stated knowing what was coming.
“You know the guys are over there. My boyfriend.” She sighed.
I didn’t feel like putting up with it. “You need to stop lying!” I stated.
“Why do you say that?”
“Because for as much as you know it could be me that Howie’s with!” I finished then turned around right into JC.
“Sorry JC.” I mumbled.
“No problem.”
“I’m leaving fora bit.” I said as I hugged him.
“Why?”
“To visit my cousin. I have to go finish packing. Bye, see ya!” I walked away not wanting to hear anything from him. The other three guys didn’t care. Just told me to stay safe.
I arrived in Germany, and walked off the plane and into the lobby. I looked around for Brian, but he was no where in sight. I sat down in a nearby chair to wait. Five minutes passed and then it started to feel longer and longer.
“Nicky” A voice called right beside me.
“Hey Brian.” I smiled up at him. He pulled me to my feet as he gave me a hug.
“Let’s hurry before I’m found out. Sorry I was so late!” He explained. We grabbed my luggage quickly and were soon on our way to the bus. Brian had rented a cab, and surprisingly the concert arena for tonight was only a few minutes away.
I watched Brian climb up the bus steps and place my suitcase on the couch. “Now let’s go surprise your man!”
I laughed as he led me into the building. All the guys were on stage once Brian joined them. I walked calmly into the audience. Before a few seconds passed, Howie yelled my name.
“Nicky, baby! How...never mind!” He ran to me as I smiled. I felt his arms wrap around me tight as he kissed me over and over. I put my arms around him and returned his kisses. I felt his warmth and love every second. After a minute or two I felt his breath in my hair and my head on his shoulder. His arms felt so good around me.
“Sorry to interrupt such a lovely reunion, but Howie we got to practice!” AJ cut in right as Howie was about to kiss me again.
I smiled as Howie released his arms from around me and walked up the stairs back on stage. I took my seat right in front to watch their rehearsal.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Howie. He smiled down at me as sweat poured off his forehead. Before I knew it, a sweaty shirt was flying at me. It landed in my hands as Howie laughed. His chest shined and so did his muscles as he danced.
When they were done, he came up to me, still shirtless expecting a hug.
“I don’t think so! Go take a shower and then I’ll think about it!” I pushed him gently towards the back. He walked away and was back with me in 30n minutes.
“Okay, now that we’re to ourselves, “he whispered.
“Come on Howie! Don’t get started, you know we can’t stop.” I laughed. We walked outside in each other’s arms. As we sat down, my cell phone rang.
“Man!” I grumbled. “Hello, oh hey Lance...yes you did interrupt...it’s okay...I’m sorry about JC...it’s not my fault...if you dare hand the phone to...hey JC...that’s nice...with my cousins and his friends...give the phone to Lance...now...Lance just tell him okay...bye! Sorry Howie. JC has a crush on me.” I finished as I hung up.
“Twin!” Nick yelled as he rounded the corner. I ran up to him throwing my arms around his neck. My feet came off the ground as he planted a firm kiss on my forehead.
“I hate taking her away from you, but I would like to catch up with her now. You’ll have her all night, I promise!” Nick pleaded. We walked off swinging our hands.
“So how’s life been going?” Nick asked.
“Good. What about you?”
“Lonely, since Mandy couldn’t make it.” He pouted.
“Aaww, I’m sorry. I know how it is.”
“Howie sure does love you, Nicky. He’s so much more reserved unless you’re around.”
“That’s good for me to know. It’s hard with N Sync, especially when JC likes me!”
“Yuck!”
“I know! When will you see Mandy again?”
“In about three months.”
“We still have four months left on tour.”
“Nick!” AJ called. “Kev says it’s time for the meet and greet.”
“Gotta go, bye!”
“Bye.” I slowly followed as he left.
<><><>
Howie laid his head in my lap as he stretched out across the floor. Their concert was and we had started out that night to drive where ever the next concert was.
“I missed you Howie.” I sighed.
“I missed you more then you know!” He exclaimed. I pushed his hair away from his face. “You don’t know how good it feels to be together again.”
“Trust me Howie, I do.” He pulled me down beside him, his arms pulled me against him. I snuggled up against his chest. Surprisingly I fell asleep. I guess he did too, because I woke up in the same position about six the next morning.
<><><>
My two days with Howie flew by so fast. We spent every second we could with each other. Before I knew it, I was flying back to meet up with Lance at the airport.
“Hey Nicky! You look tired! Time change hard?” Lance questioned.
“Yeah, too much of a change!”
“I didn’t tell JC. I couldn’t stand too, sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m rather glad you didn’t. We drove back and “Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely” came on the radio.
Lance sighed as he saw a tear form in the corner of my eye. “You really love him don’t you? JC was never in your mind.”
“No, besides how much he annoys me!”
Lance laughed. We pulled up to the arena and hurried inside. A few fans had already started to arrive for the meet and greet. I was now back in my position of fame. A dancer with one of the hottest teen raves.
I stopped in the hallway and thought about my life. I’m a dancer out in the open, then I’m also a beside the scene girlfriend.