Silence seemed to envelope her as her mind wandered further into her mixed thoughts. She wasn’t sure where she stood with any of her relationships....she seemed to be missing out on everyone’s lives, it wasn’t like she wasn’t trying though. She tried to call him..his friends...no one seemed interested in talking to her. Furiously she swiped at the tears that cascaded down her rosy cheeks. She had promised herself she wouldn’t cry anymore...no more tears would be shed over him..over them.
Empty, cold, lonely, silent.....everything a house shouldn’t be, but hers seemed to scream at her from all directions....telling her that she was alone, and forgotten. Why did her birthday always turn out for the worst..was it to much to ask for her have someone there to share it with her.....her best friend had once told her that...no matter what..she’d always be there on her birthday. Where was she now..why wasn’t she sticking to her word? Sara shook her head..she knew that answer. It was the same reason she was never around anymore..and he went by the name of Josh. Clinching her hands into tight fists..she punched at the soft cushions that lined her leather couch. Clutching one of the pillows...she released all her anger...shouting into its downy insides.
She couldn’t stay any long....she needed to get away. There were too many memories surrounding this house, this town...her life. Rushing to her room...she gathered as many things in her arms as she could, shoving them all into empty bags. Pulling open the bottom drawer, she found it full of his things. Her fingers reached out to stroke the soft material of the worn out shirt. It had been one of his favorites, leaving it here for her...so she would always have him close to her heart. A teardrop landed on the dark fabric, the spot growing wider as the emptiness in her heart followed suit. Forcefully slamming the drawer shut, she proceeded in her mission of leaving it all behind...maybe even leaving him behind.....but if she were honest with herself, she’d know that he’d never truly leave her, he was too much a part of her.
Shutting the door to her car, she looked up at the dark house that loomed before her. Forcing herself to start the engine proved to be harder then she thought, but she knew it was for the best...no matter how much she hated it at the moment. Her headlights flashed off the large picture windows as she tried not to glance back at it. Wiping the tears away again, she placed her foot further on the gas peddle, taking her further from the pain that had been plaguing her, but also from the memories and happiness that had been shared there. She wasn’t sure where to go, for everyone she knew in this town was a part of her life, and they were all missing in action for the time being. Her hands led the way, for her mind was far from the road, far from her car, but much closer to the ones who had made her smile for so long. Winding through the many streets, she begin to discover that she was nearing a familiar street, with houses that brought a small smile to her face. She passed a park....a basketball hoop glowing in the moonlight..he had taught her how to dribble there...she still sucked, but he hadn’t given up on her. As she neared one house in particular, her hands begin to sweat..causing her grasp to slip from the wheel. The gate soon begin to shine under the orange street light, casting a long dark shadow over herself and her car.
She couldn’t bring herself to push the buttons....so she stared at them.....remembering each and every number as it replayed over and over again inside her mixed up mind. “Dammit Justin...why couldn’t you just make things easier on me....why did you make me fall in love with you?” Sara beat her small fist into the air, smacking it roughly against the dash board. Cursing under her breath, she rolled down her window, hitting each button with force...breathing heavily as the gate swung open with a loud squeak.
Her eyes blinked a few times, not believing the bright light that shown from the window above the door. He couldn’t be home..he would have called, he would have told her he was coming back...he at least could have shown up to get his things. Anything to let her know that he was okay..that he still thought about her. Her foot slammed on the brake, her car coming to a stop in the middle of the deserted road. She wanted to run up those steps and give him a piece of her mind...or have him wrap his strong arms around her weak frame and tell her that he still loved her...even though he had forgotten to mention the fact many times. The blackness of her eyelids took over, forcing her to see not the bad things that had been happening, but all the wonderful things they had all done for her. She thought off the time they had all met...meeting her best friend at a concert...falling in love with him for the first time....the way they used to make her so happy..... No matter how many good things she thought about..the bad still outweighed the good.
Making a sharp U-Turn, she left the house far behind her...she really had to leave all of them far behind her. Hitting the freeway, she drove faster, letting the cool air rush through her hair...the night seemed to bring some comfort, and driving seemed to relax her a little bit, but it still didn’t calm all her fears or her nerves. Bright lights flashed in her rearview, blinding her momentarily. They flashed again, creating in her a new sense of fear. Was someone following her...you heard of urban legends like this all the time....? The car never ceased in following her, staying right behind her as she traveled further from Orlando. Passing under a bright set of lights, she recognized the car that stayed so close to her. Signaling she pulled off the freeway, into a well lit gas station...parking her car, waiting patiently for the one following her to pull up next to her.
“Sara.” Josh’s blue eyes glowed at her...creating a new set of tears to flood her vision.
“Josh.” She wasn’t sure what to say to him...what to do....he was a stranger in her life now...and that thought scared her.
“Where are you going?” He sounded concerned, but she only shook her head, hiding her face from him sight, afraid he would see her tears.
“Just away.” Wiping at her eyes, she lifted her head to meet his gaze.
“Are you okay?” Once again, concern filled his soothing voice, bringing her a small sense of peace and comfort.
“Do I look okay to you Josh? Do you even realize what day it is?” Anger washed over my emotions, taking a strong hold. “If you care so much..where have you been? Where was Justin....Faith....everyone that ever claimed they cared....?” I was mad...my foot on the brake, barely keeping me in that parking lot.
“We were busy.” He flinched at the blaze that glowed in her eyes, something about the way she looked broke his heart...this was not the same girl that they had left behind...and he knew that the shell of a woman before him was partly his fault.
“Story of my life..all my friends are too busy to even care. Why don’t you just leave me alone?” I slammed the Jeep into gear, taking my foot off the brake, moving forward slightly. “Sara....please wait?” Josh kept pace with me.
“When did you get home?” Stopping, she turned to glare at him once again.
“Earlier today.” Flinching again, he looked away, knowing that the answer would only make her more angry.
“Nice of you to let me know.” She pulled forward again, faster this time....wanting desperately to get away from him, and the memories he surfaced.
“Sara, there is something that I want to show you.” He had jumped out of his vehicle, standing outside her window...following as her car continued to advance.
“And why may I ask, would I want to go anywhere with you?” She couldn’t look at him..just being that close made all her anger and frustrations leave.
“Because, you know that deep down, we do still care..” He had said it....she looked at him..tears brimming her eyes.
“Josh..I don’t think I can......” His fingers quickly but gently wiped away the tears that flowed from the corners of her eyes. “I just want to be alone...”
“Come on, I promise I’ll make it worth you’re while. If I’m lucky, it will make up for everything that we’ve done to you.” He urged for her to follow him....beckoning with his head towards the dimly lighted freeway.... “Let’s go back home.”
She could only nod her head slowly....allowing her mind to take over, as she followed his black Jeep back towards the town she loved, but hated so much.
Dread and a sense of regret washed over her as she winded through the same streets once again...meeting up with the squeaky old gate.... The light shined over the door in the house, but instead of stopping in the road, she pulled her car up next to Josh’s in the driveway. However, that was as far as she could go, for her feet wouldn’t move from the pedals, and her hands wouldn’t move to open the door. Josh walked around..stopping next to her door. Carefully he pulled it open, extending a hand to help her down onto the concrete. Her hands shook, as they were clutched tightly in his....their steps echoing in her ears, as they slowly made their way to the front door. She held back, scared of facing what was behind it...scared of letting her feelings and emotions be known. Josh stopped, looking back at her...concern filled his soft blue eyes.
“You okay?” He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb, trying to help her find the little bit of confidence that he knew was still there.
“I think I’ll be fine..can we just get this over with..please.” She tightened her grasp on his hand as he moved to push the heavy white door open. The scent that she knew so well, flooded every sense that she had....making her weak. Placing a hand on the door frame to steady herself, she fought with her emotions....she wanted to see him...but she was so afraid to. With a lot of pulling and encouragement from Josh..she managed to get into the living room...the white leather couches gleamed in the dim light. “Everything is still the same.” Her eyes wandered from one piece of furniture to another....taking in all the things that she had missed so much.
A bright light shone from the direction of the kitchen...and that seemed to be where Josh was leading her. She followed, but her heart was no longer into it..being in this house brought so much pain....she missed him so much..and no matter how close she wanted to be to him, she knew that he was far away. Josh stopped her, telling her to wait, but she really hadn’t heard him. Leaving her in the dark hall, she listened to the sounds around her..the ticking clock from the living room wall...the running water of the water fall in the pool...the hum of the fridge...everything seemed so normal to her..yet she felt so out of place. She heard nothing from the direction of the kitchen, but was startled when the light blinked off..flooding her in complete darkness.
“Josh...” Panic swept over her..something didn’t feel right...something was wrong. “Josh.” She managed to feel her way around the wall, sliding her hand along the side, until her fingers grasped the small light switch. Blinding her with light..she blinked a few times...before sounds filled her ears.
“Surprise...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!” Around her everywhere were the ones that she had thought had forgotten her..but there they were...standing around Justin’s kitchen...smiling and singing to her.
“What?” She shook her head..not knowing what to make of it all...for she was certain that they had all left her out of their lives.
Faith stepped around Josh, holding her arms out. “Sara...I am so sorry.”
She allowed herself to be wrapped in a warm hug....one of comfort..one that brought a sense of relief back into her soul. She slowly placed her arms around her friends shoulders....pulling her closer, as she hugged away all the loneliness..all the pain...and all the fears that she had.
“I promise I will never ever leave you for so long again...next time..I don’t care what your excuse is..you are not allowed to be left behind.” Faith’s blue eyes were rimmed with tears that begin to trickle down her cheeks...but she made no effort in wiping them away.
“It’s okay.....Faith.” She did feel that everything would be okay....her friends were back..they hadn’t forgotten her...they had just been delayed. Her eyes scanned each smiling face...landing on the ones that she had longed to see for so long. “Justin....” His name still sent chills through her body....her love for the man rooted deep in her heart.
“Happy birthday.” He held a small package towards her....beckoning her to open it. “I’ve been a little lazy in keeping in touch....I do have reasons..I’m sure you won’t want to hear them..but I will explain to you why I don’t deserve your love.”
“Don’t say that.....” She carefully took the package, running her finger over the shiny silver paper. “I was more afraid of losing you than anything....I could never stop loving you.” She ripped the paper off the box, removing the lid to reveal a tiny silver locket.
Justin’s long fingers extracted the locked from its confides, opening the small heart...holding them up for her to see. “I knew this was your favorite picture of us....it was the only way I could think of to tell you I’m sorry.”
Her eyes stayed glued to the picture..a black and white photo of her and Justin..together at a theme park. It was taken in one of those small photo booths, but the two had been so happy that day....just being together had been enough for either one of them...thoughts of the future, and cares of the past long forgotten. She didn’t need any more ‘I’m Sorry’ she knew that each and every one of them had come because of their love for her...and that was enough to mend even the worst of a broken heart. Wrapping her arms around Justin’s neck, pulling him closer..their lips meeting in a kiss that was long over due. As the kissing grew more passionate..more arms found their way around the happy couple....each person healing their own hearts....mending the friendships that had almost been ruined. The friends hugged away the tears, the emptiness....and they hugged in a new sense of togetherness that had never been there before. They had almost lost a piece of what made them wonderful, but they salvaged it...making it stronger then before..binding it all back together with a hug.
