SCISSORS RECIPE'S

Listen, we all know chicks like a guy who can cook right? That's why we don't just cook. This songs called Culinary Genius. So print this out and have a lady friend hum it to you on your way to the grocery store. Keep your eyes on the road-head for the tuna aisle.

CIAC'S RECIPE'S

ROCKY PARMESIAN
DI CIAC
"Tonno di riso parmigianato"
se vuoi cucinare questo piatto una sera per la bella donna dalla lezione, e sei
abbastanza furbo, ma scusa! ci sara al meno un bacio perche' questo e'
assolutamente il migliore con un gusto complicato ma buonississimo. prima, devi
trovare il riso di parmigiano.
e' facile e lo vende dapertutto. oy! ho appena
dimenticato, devi comprare anche il tonno fresco. cuoca il riso, aggiunge il
tonno, e auguri! hai fatto bene. se la tua donna non si piacelo, trova
qualcun'altra.

ROCKY SANDWICH
These are good cause you can have one rocky sandwich or twelve. Kinda like hookers. Seriously though, kinda like hookers.
-tuna
-wheat bread
-piece of mind
-piece of ass to call when you're done
Dump tuna onto a piece of bread. Sort of fold it.
Plenty of time left for a money shot.

ROCKY BURRITO
You hungry ese? Rocky burritos are funny to eat, but they also warm a charro's rope burns.
-tuna
-wheat tortillas
You can prolly imagine exactly how to make this. You're just reading to see if I make another witty, off-color remark. At least you're reading. You want dessert? Desert my sight, puto.

DIABOLICAL'S RECIPE'S

THE DIABOLICAL TUNA MELT
You see restaurants trying this all the time.
They don't know how important timing is.
-however much tuna you want
-wheat bread
-cheese
-can-o-beans
-confidence
Get everything out and ready to go. I mean, beans open and in the bowl. Everything, ready to go. First the bread goes in the toaster. Move quick. Tuna in the Microwave for 23 seconds. Throw the cheese right on top of the tuna and nuke for another 12 seconds. Your toast should be done by now. Take the tuna out, put in the beans. Turn the tuna plate upside down onto a piece of toast. . . then apply the other piece. Your beans'll be done in a few seconds. Bon voyage.