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Full of Grace: Chapter 17
She looked at me in shock, not believing that I would cuss her out like
that, not believing I would stand up to her. But I'd had enough. Seeing
her fucking another man was what did me in. And what that man had done to me
was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak.
She opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off, "Just get out. I
don't want to hear it, I don't want to even look at you. You know what? I
don't care what you do to me. As long as I never have to see your face
again, I'll be a happy man."
I turned my back to her and groaned as I bent over to retrieve my boxers off
the floor. That was my biggest mistake. I never saw what hit me, just felt
something make impact with the back of my head and everything went black.
I sat up in the bed, sweat rolling off of me in rivers. God, even when she
was hundreds of miles away, she still had a hold over me. It was hopeless.
I grabbed my hands in my head and tried to calm my breathing.
"It's not hopeless."
I raised my head and looked back to where Nick was laying, looking at me.
I nodded my head, "Yes, it is. I may have gotten out, but she still has a
hold over my mind. It's going to drive me insane, Nick."
He sat up and wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulders, "Tell me about
your dream, maybe if you tell it, it won't have power over you any more."
I sighed and looked away, "I can't....you'll......it's too awful."
I had told Nick everything else that had happened to me at the hands of
Stefanie, but this was one thing I had not shared with anyone, it was just
too sick, too awful.
Nick squeezed my shoulder, "Kevin, nothing you could say would make me
change the way I feel about you. Nothing. Not even if you were really an
alien sent to earth to suck my brain through my ear with a straw."
I had to smile a little at that. That comment was pure Nick Carter. The
smile fell off my face when I remembered what we were talking about.
"Nick....I ....oh god, I can't."
Nick made soothing noises, "Yes, you can. Kevin you know you can tell me
anything."
I sighed, "I know. It's just....." I turned so my I was facing away from
him, "I don't want to have to see your face when I tell you this."
I could tell he was shocked that I wouldn't look at him, but he accepted it
without question. He knew if he put up an argument, that I would never tell
him. I had to do it my own way.
I told him what had happened to me, every graphic detail of the rape
spilling out. Once the words started spilling out, they wouldn't stop until
the story was spent. By the time I was done, I was curled in a ball, so
afraid to see the disgust on his face. "I was raped Nick. And by a man.
All because I couldn't stand up to her."
I felt a hand on my shoulder, it felt like the Frank's hand, the hard
coldness of it. The adrenaline raced through me and I turned, ready to
fight the attack this time. Using all of my body weight, I sprung at him,
knocking him backwards onto the bed and my hands dove at his neck. They
burned and screamed in agony at me, but I was deaf to the pain. This would
not happen again.
The only word that would come out of my mouth was a primal growl of "No!"
over and over. I would kill him this time. This time I wasn't tied up.
This time he was mine and wouldn't walk out of here, that's for damn sure!
I could hear his choking noises, his hoarse voice pleading with me. But it
wasn't Frank's voice. It was Nick's. The red haze faded from my eyes and I
looked down to see my hands clamped around Nick's throat, squeezing the life
out of him.
With a yelp, my hands flew off of him and I scampered into a dark corner of
the room, horrified at what I had done. It had seemed so real. It was
Frank, I was sure of it.
Nick sat on the bed, coughing and trying to get a good lungfull of air. He
had seen me fly off the bed and into the darkness of the room, but he
couldn't see where. He wasn't afraid of me coming after him again, he had
seen the recognition in his eyes and the horror at what I'd done.
Cautiously, he stepped off of the bed, still gasping for air and called out
my name hoarsely, "Kevin?"
A low whimper led him to me, cowering in a corner, trying to make my six
foot frame as small as possible. "Oh god, Nick. I......don't know what
happened."
Then he did something that totally floored me, he smiled. "Kevin! Do you
realize what you just did?"
I nodded, sobbing a little, trying to choke down the tears of shame, "I
nearly killed you."
Nick shook his head, "Look at my neck!"
I was looking at him strangely, he was a little too excited about me nearly
strangling him. I did as he asked and I could see the red marks left by my
hands on his neck, the individual lines of my fingers. I looked away in
disgust at what I'd done, "I'm sorry."
He grabbed my head and made me look at him, "No! Kevin, you were tightening
your fingers around my neck, I could feel them! Kevin, you fingers were
MOVING!!!"
I looked from my hands to Nick's neck again. To leave marks like that, my
fingers had to have bent and tightened around his neck. My mouth fell open.
I tried to move them, concentrating on just curling them a little. Nothing.
They wouldn't move.
He saw me trying to move them and saw they didn't respond. Then he put his
hands in mine, "Kevin, it's ok. We know they are capable of moving.
Probably with all the adrenaline going through you, you could do a lot of
things that you normally can't do. But we know they CAN move. Your nerves
are still there! They just need to heal. "
I let out a relieved sob as we threw our arms around each other and both of
us cried in happiness that someday I would be able to move my hands again.
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