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Full of Grace: Chapter 3
Nick sat silently, watching how at how at peace Kevin looked when he was sleeping. His eyes slid over his friend's face, seeing the effects of the nightmare he'd been living present in his face. The bags under his eyes that never seemed to go away, the hollow look that was there if you looked him in the eye. Nick's fingers smoothed Kevin's wrinkled forehead, what worried him most of all was the completely lost look that took over Kevin's face when he let the 'I'm in charge' mask slip.
That lost look shook Nick to the core the first time he saw it. He depended on Kevin more than he cared to admit. Kevin was the rock, the calm in the middle of the storm that was the Backstreet Boys. More often than not, that carried over into their personal lives. Kevin was the listening ear and comforting shoulder whenever any of them needed it. But now it was as if a hurricane had ripped through his life and reversed the roles that he and Kevin played.
Now he was the one who was holding everything together while Kevin was the one who needed someone to lean on. Although he would never admit it, when he was younger, Nick looked up to Kevin as some sort of idol. He was so grown up when Nick was going through that awkward stage that all teenagers weather. He knew who he was and didn't take crap from anyone, while Nick was till floundering, trying to figure out who he was. A wistful sigh left Nick's lips. If only he could have those days back. If only he could have the old Kevin back.
To the outside world, there was no change in Kevin. Even to the other Backstreet Boys, the secret between Nick and Kevin was never apparent. Kevin was still the one to get everyone in line and down to business, but when the curtain went down..... Nick sighed again.
He had to get him away from that maniac. She didn't even deserve to be called a woman. Hell, human being was too good for her. How could someone who is supposed to love him do this to him in the name of love? She took a great guy and sank her claws in, draining the life right out of him. This wasn't the Kevin he knew and loved. This was a broken shell. It looked like the same Kevin, but Nick knew better, if you pushed on the surface a little, it would crack under the softest pressure into a thousand pieces. Nick believed in the devil alright, and her name was Stefanie.
Nick had never seen Kevin cry until he had happened to walk into Kevin's hotel room to ask him a question and saw his friend, groaning as he tried to lift his arms over his head to put on a shirt. Bruises discolored his skin in painful places, the small of his back, around his spine, places that wouldn't show up in pictures. He knew he would be killed if Kevin turned around and saw him there, but he was unable to tear his eyes away. This was more than war wounds from a night of bedtime fun, this was serious shit. This was caused by someone who meant to hurt him, and badly.
Kevin turned around and his face filled with rage, twisting it and contorting it until the sight of it scared Nick so badly that he literally couldn't move, he was petrified right to the spot. The vein in Kevin's forehead, what the other Boys used to gauge exactly how pissed Kevin was, was now throbbing at full capacity. Kevin's mouth opened and a roar came out of it, "WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT???!!! GET THE FUCK OUT!!!"
Poor Nick couldn't get his feet to obey him. He wanted out of there, oh how he wanted out of there, but his couldn't make his body do anything but stay rooted to the spot in immobilizing fear. It was taking all he had not to lose control of his bladder from fear alone. He had never seen Kevin so angry before.
In two terrifying steps, Kevin was in front of him, his hands grasping Nick's arms tightly and lifting his feet off the ground as he shook him violently, getting right in the face of the younger man. "ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID??? I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT AND I MEAN NOW!!!!!!!" With that he pushed Nick away, but since Nick's feet weren't on the ground, the force threw him across the room.
Nick's mouth fell open as he flew full force into the wall, feeling his head bounce off of the plaster. A startled yelp left his lips as he seemed to slide down the wall in slow motion, his legs not able to hold him up as pain jolted through his entire body. He hit the floor in a heap, the breath knocked out of him.
There was dead silence in the room as it's two occupants were too stunned to comprehend what had just happened. Nick saw Kevin's feet walking towards him and he curled himself in to a little ball, flinching away. In a voice that shook with fear, Nick talked as softly as he could, afraid to anger Kevin even more, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please don't kill me."
Nick heard a thud beside him and he winced, a whimper leaving his lips as he waited for the blows to start coming.
Instead he heard a sob ricochet through the silence, but it wasn't from him. Nick dared to look up and saw Kevin had fallen to his knees, his face buried in hands. His shoulders heaved with sobs that were coming at an alarming rate. Nick raised himself to his knees stiffly, his sore body protesting any movement.
Nick looked at Kevin in wonder, he had never seen Kevin cry. He didn't know what to do. Afraid to do anything for fear he would be hit again. The sound of this man who like a brother to him crying was more than he could take. He tentatively reached out and put a hand on Kevin's shoulder. Kevin did nothing but sob even more, his body convulsing with the power of them. Without a thought for himself, Nick surrendered to the part of him was reaching out to Kevin, the part of him that saw a broken man crying in front of him. Nick's arms gathered Kevin to him, holding him close and resting his chin on the top of the older man's head as he sobbed into Nick's chest.
"Oh god, Nick I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm no better than..... My god, I'm an animal!"
Nick held him tighter, his own body jumping with the force of every one of Kevin's sobs, his hands rubbing over Kevin's shoulders, "God, Kevin, who did this to you?"
Kevin looked up at him, tears streaking down his face. He took a halting breath, and slowly, between sobs the entire story came out. "It all started...."
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