You Do What You Have To Do:
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by: Tina and Danielle
Rated: R (adult stuff, ya know?)
copyright: 1999
This part written by : Tee
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Warning: This and some following chapters contain sexual material. Be warned and if you read, it is at your own risk and by reading you accept that we are not responsible for your reaction to it or the legalities in your city/state/country.

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Kevin stood up and headed towards the door.

"Nick! Nick, wait up man!"

But Nick was already in the elevator and gone.

"Dammit!", Kevin muttered as he headed towards the stairs but suddenly arms grabbed him and stopped him.

He turned to see Brian, Howie, and AJ.

"Are you three fuckin' crazy? Let me go. I have to go see about him."

Brian said, "No. You have to stay for the meeting, Kevin. There is stuff we need your input on. And you can fill Nick in on everything later."

Brian turned and went back into the meeting room. He didn't think he could bear to see the hurt and pain in Kevin's eyes any longer. He kept telling himself over and over what he was doing had to be done. But at this moment he wasn't believing himself.

AJ patted Kevin on the shoulder and said, "Just give Nick some time alone. He probably just needs to do some thinking and get a grip on things. After what you two have been through I don't blame either one of you if your emotions are kinda out of whack right now."

AJ left and Howie stood looking at Kevin, trying to figure out the right words to say.

"What are your words of wisdom, Howie?"

"True love can with stand anything, Kevin. It can close the distance that you are
phyically apart. It's like a baby bird learning to fly. You throw it out of the nest and hope one day it will come home. Nick won't fly too far from you , Kev. I honestly believe that."

Kevin swallowed the lump in his throat. Howie knew. How the hell did he know? "Thanks, Howie. Those words mean more to me than I can ever tell you."

They went back into the meeting room and the meeting went on for another hour or so. Kevin tried to concentrate but his mind was on Nick. Where was he and what was he doing? Was he ok?

Kevin closed his eyes and groaned to himself. If he didn't get out of here soon, he was going to loose his fuckin mind. He had to find Nick and that's all there was to it.

When he heard the words, "Meeting over", his eyes flew open. He stood up and without a word to anyone, he made a bee line for the door.

His friends watched him leave, knowing without even asking he was going after Nick.

AJ and Howie turned their attention to Brian and AJ said, "Ok, Brian, fess up. I have the feeling you know something about the change in the promo tour. One day it's you, Nick, and Kev and me and Howie teamed up. Now today it's totally different."

Brian looked at them a second before answering, "I did what I had to do. What I thought was right to do. I can't stand by and watch them get hurt."

Howie said, "Brian, did you see the two of them here? They are devestated. I think that alone says something about their relationship."

Brian sighed. He felt lower than low at the moment. Scum was probably too good for him. He said, "I know. But at the end of this month they are still feeling the same about each other as they do now, I swear I will give them my blessing and be the happies sob alive for them. And if they don't feel the same way, then I can rest knowing I prevented another major disaster from affecting their lives."

AJ sadly shook his head and said, "You really should have been a minster, Rok, cause you certainly have playing God down perfect."

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Kevin had been driving all over the city from one end to the other looking for Nick. He had gone to all the places he could think of that Nick would go to but Nick was no where to be found.

Kevin was getting a sinking pit in his stomach. He even went home to see if Nick had gone back there but the little house was empty. Kevin sat down on the pourch steps and hung his head, fighting the urge to cry.

Suddenly he remembered that Nick had his backpack with him and that he had left his cell phone in Nick's backpack. Kevin got up and raced to the car and picked up the car phone. With shaky hands he dialed his cell phone number and said, "Dear God, please let him answer and be okay."

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The ringing of the phone startled me.

"What the fuck?", I mumbled, sitting up, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from.

It was coming from my backpack. I opened it up and inside was Kev's cell phone and it was ringing.

I got it out and said, "Hello."

Kevin said, "Thank God. Baby, where the hell are you? Are you ok? I'm about to go out of my freakin mind worrying about you."

"I'm sorry, Kev. I didn't mean to worry you. I just needed to be alone for awhile and think. I'll be home by dark. I promise."

"Nick, I feel the same way you do. The thought of being away from you scares the hell out of me. I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest and stepped on."

I sniffled, not able to control the tears, "Mine too, Kev. I wanted us to get settled into our home for a little bit before we had to leave for so long. Dammit, I hate this."

Kevin said, "I hate it too, Nickers. I love you and come home soon. I'll be waiting for you."

"I love you too, Bumpkin."

We hung up and I went to the edge of the cave and looked out to the ocean. I was in my special place. It was a cave on a beach in the middle of nowhere. Honest to God. I had discovered this place many, many years ago when I was just a kid and out exploring and it became my place. It was the place where I wasn't a star, or someone's son, or someone's big brother - I was just Nick here. Some geeky, goofy kid trying to find his way in the world.

I can't begin to tell you how many hours I had spent in this cave through the years. The walls of the cave had heard my whole life story and listened to every problem I had ever had. By some miracle of God, I guess, I always found the peace and comfort I needed here and it got me through some tough times.

Today was no different. I had been laying here in the cool cave for hours just thinking. I didn't want to leave Kevin. The last time I had left him............well, we know what happened the last time I left him, don't we?

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It was after dark by the time I got home. I had to walk from the beach to the main road and I caught a cab from there.

The house was so dark. Like noone was there. But Kev's car was in the driveway so I knew he was there. Maybe he'd gone to sleep. He was probably wore out. My poor baby.

I let myself in the front door and stopped dead in my tracks. There was a path of candles and rose petals leading towards the living room. Then there was a seperate path leading up the stairs.

I heard a piano being softly played. The music was coming from the living room. I walked into the living room and found Kevin sitting at a white baby grand piano playing. There were pillar candles placed on top of the piano and here and there on the floor of the living room.

There was a blanket spread in front of the fireplace with a picnic basket and a bottle of wine with two wine glasses sitting on it. Too bad it wasn't chilly enough to have got a fire going in the fireplace but this was perfect.

I looked around the room in amazement and my eyes drifted back to Kevin. He was the most beautiful sight in the whole room. He smiled at me and said, "Hey sexy."

"Hey yourself. Where.....I mean, how.....God, Kev, where did you get this stuff at?"

He laughed, "I did some shopping today. The piano is on loan from Jive." He got up and picked a box up that had been laying on the floor beside his feet and walked towards me.

His lips brushed against mine and he handed me the box.

"What's this?", I asked.

He smiled, "Go upstairs and change. It's just a little something I bought for you today. I hope you like it. "

I was so overwhelmed. This big lump in my throat just didn't seem to want to go away. He'd spent all afternoon doing this for me while I was holed up in a cave wallowing in self-pity. God, what an ass I had made out of myself today.

I said, "I'm sorry I ran off and made you worry, Kevin. We could have had all day together and I ran off like a fool."

He kissed me tenderly and said, "It's alright, Nickers. We'll make up for lost time tonight." His eyes twinkled so I swear they could have been stars up in the sky.

I made my way up to the bathroom - candles lighting the way.

Inside the bathroom there were candles all over the place as well. I opened the box and gasped at what was inside. Silk hunter green draw string pajama bottoms with a matching robe. The silk felt so cool and good on my skin - so soft. But Kevin was what I wanted to feel against my skin the most.

I quickly kicked off my shoes and changed. I splashed on some cologne and slicked my hair back. Taking one last look at my appearance in the mirror, I was satisfied with what I saw and I made my way downstairs.

Kevin was sitting on the blanket. He had changed as well into pajamas and a robe matching mine, except his was a royal blue. He had poured wine into both glasses. He held one up to me and smiled, "You are so beautiful, Nick. You make my whole body ache. Come join me babe."

My feet couldn't move fast enought to get to him.


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