Note: Gleaned from a list convo gone bad. *snicker*
Part One
© 2003 by Heidi
“Yeah, okay, but can you roll your tongue?” Kevin could turn the stupidest of conversations into a competition. This time? Tongue tricks.
“Well, yeah…RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!” Nick beamed with pride. Score one for Nicky.
“No, no…not roll your ‘R’s’, Nick. Roll your tongue. Into a log, like this.” Kevin stuck out his tongue just slightly and pulled up the sides, making a log roll of his tongue. Then, sitting back, he had to chuckle as the other three at the table made their attempts.
“Ooh! Ooh! I hink I hot it!” Becky was flailing her arms frantically, while her tongue protruded from her mouth in a perfect log.
“There ya’ go!” Kevin shook his head at the memory of his silly camp games and how easily friends would slide into them, especially with a few too many beers under their belts.
Meanwhile, Lynne and Nick were in fits of hysteria as they stuck out their tongues only to have them flap aimlessly in the breeze. Neither could do it. “Hah in ya heh….”
“Aw, Lynne, I’m disappointed. I thought your tongue was more talented than that.” Kevin leaned over and kissed her cheek, only to have his own lightly smacked.
“You KNOW I’m talented, baby. I just can’t make a damned tongue roll. Never heard you complaining before.”
“Quite true.” Looking back to Nick and Becky he finally laughed out loud. “You can’t help him with your fingers, Bec…”
“Well, how can you NOT do this!? I mean…you just…oool…and there it is.”
“Sorry, babe…Never heard you complaining before either.”
“Well, maybe I’ve been missing something and didn’t know it.”
Sticking out his…apparently talentless tongue, he turned the tables a bit. “Okay, I’ve got one…can you make your tongue talk?” Nick opened his mouth slightly, covering the space with his tongue, so that the top was facing forward. Then, while the other three watched, he bit down slightly on the top, causing a horizontal crease in the middle. With just the muscle of his tongue, he made the crease open and close…it looked like a mouth talking.
“Eeeew….how do you DO that!?” Lynne immediately went to work, making more goofy faces and again totally unable to do the trick. “Well, shit. I obviously need some tongue exercises or something.” She sat back defeated and gestured for the waiter to bring another Corona.
Becky and Kevin were trying their knack at the “talking tongue” neither quite able to get it.
“Yike ith?” Bec sat with the flat of her tongue hanging there and nothing else happening.
“Nope…nuttin’. Make a crease.” Nick performed his trick again, looking to Kevin to see if he had mastered it yet. No such luck.
“Damn…I can’t do that one.” He sat back in mild defeat, still trying the trick with a closed mouth so no one could see.
“Okay, my turn. Who can tie a knot in a cherry stem with their tongue?” Lynne finally had a tongue trick. She was so proud. She was so drunk.
“No way…you can not!” It wasn’t that Nick hadn’t been shown how a couple hundred times OR that he hadn’t tried a couple thousand. He just could never manage it.
“Yep…Kev you can too, can’t you?”
“Yep.”
“Prove it.” Bec couldn’t believe this one either. Dueling tongues. Ha.
Just then the waiter appeared with Lynne’s refill and Kevin ordered one of his own. With a bowl of cherries on the side…long stems. Once returned, Kevin and Lynne went to work, mouths wiggling, couples giggling and as if on cue, pulled out two perfectly tied cherry stems in unison.
“Ta-da!” High fiving each other, they gave their handiwork to the other couple. “Top THAT tongue work, Nicky!”
“Hrmph.” Nick tossed the knotted stem on the table and fed Bec a cherry. “Best part’s the fruit anyway.”
“Quite true…so what DOES make one tongue more flexible than another? I mean, the girls can’t roll their r’s, but we can. Me and Bec can do the log deal, but Lynne and Nick are useless.”
“I am NOT useless!” Nick tried to stand quickly to make his point but wobbled and plopped back down, grabbing the edge of the table on the way.
“No, but you’re drunk…calm down. And Nick’s got that weird talking tongue deal and me and Lynne do the stem thing…what makes a tongue able to do some tricks and not others?”
“Aw, honey…I didn’t know you could do exis-…existential thinking under the influence. Maybe I HAVE been missing something.” Lynne leaned her head over on Kevin’s shoulder in mock admiration.
“Shaddup. I’m serious…what makes a difference?”
“Size?”
“Shape?”
“Thickness?”
“And how does it effect other, uh…skills one uses their tongue for?” Bec had to wonder if the man can do that log roll with his tongue, what other kinds of tricks was it capable of.
Silence fell at the table. All disappeared into their own scenarios of tongue tricks, talents and titillations. One set of eyes would casually meet with another and a blush would follow. Suddenly, without warning, Nick quickly stood, finger in the air and wobble in his stance.
“I….have an idea!”
“Oh god…this oughta be good.”
“Nick…” Kevin leaned up in a hushed whisper. “Sit DOWN! People are starting to stare.”
“Oh…yeah…okay…” Nick sat back down, meekly looking to Bec who was burying her head in her hands. Nick having an idea was not always a good thing.
“How ‘bout we do a little experiment. Test out what kind of tongue can do the best, uh…yanno…job…at…whatever it is a tongue can do.”
“What!?” They were good. All three of them using the same word at the same time with the same tone. Someone should make them into a pop group or something.
“Well, I mean…Kevin, stick out your tongue.”
“I will not.”
“Oh, but you’ll make it into a log roll…stick out your tongue.” He did. “See…it’s kinda pointy.”
“Mmmm…yeah, I like pointy. You can, uh…you know…hit your target better that way.”
“Lynne, I did NOT need to know that.” Nick shot her an exasperated look.
“Sorry…” she lifted her bottle of beer as an excuse. “Truth serum and all. Go on…”
“And me? I’ve got this fat thing.” He stuck out his tongue to display, in case no one had ever seen it before, or really even cared to see it again.
“Oh yeah…covers lots and lots of ground.” Bec’s voice slid into one of total dreaminess.
“And I did not need to know that!” Lynne shot Bec a glare and tossed a cherry across the table bopping her in the nose with it.
“Exactly. And no one here’s complaining, are they?”
Silence. Blank, empty, glazed stares. Nick finally waved a hand in front of the girls’ faces. “Hello?”
“Uh, no.” Lynne shook out of it first. “No one’s complaining…at all.”
“But, maybe y’all are missing something.”
“So what are you suggesting, Nick?” Bec was getting it, but couldn’t believe it. And still, she wasn’t complaining.
“We do an experiment…a scienti-…scien-…*burp*…scientifuck exshperiment.”
Lynne leaned over to Kevin, “He did NOT just say ‘scientifuck’.”
Wordlessly, he nodded. Yes, he did. Didn’t even catch himself either.
“Okay, I’m game. What does this scientifuck experiment entail, Einstein?” Becky was always up for a little variety. And if involved Nick AND Kevin? Hell yeah.
“Trials…lots and lots of clinical trials.” He looked over to Lynne and wagged his eyebrows. He knew Kevin would be game. They’d shared enough in the past. This couldn’t be any different.
“You mean, you want to…you’re gonna…”
More eyebrow wagging. “Yup. Whadya say, girls?”
“Sounds great to me, Nick…what about it, ladies?” Kevin threw back the last of his beer and sat back with great satisfaction at Nicky’s little idea. Oh yeah, he could deal with this kind of fun.
Lynne looked helplessly to Becky, not believing she’d agree to such a thing. The two friends stared each other down, using no words, but after a few moments, Lynne’s demeanor changed and she agreed….sort of.
“Okay…if you’re all game…”
“Well, wait. Maybe not.” Nick hadn’t thought about THAT aspect of it before. “You’re not real fond of me, are you, Miss Lynne? Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”
“Oh no, Nick…I’ll just follow the advice of my friend, the tightrope walker.”
“What’s that?”
“Whatever you do, don’t look down!”