CHAPTER THREE

She lost track of time. She did not know how long she sat in that chair, quietly weeping and watching her lover in bed with another woman. She was still in the chair when the first warm rays of sunlight began to peek through the curtains. She could hear the faint murmur of voices in the hall, hotel staff delivering breakfast and cleaning out empty rooms. She could hear the occasional laugh or familiar ding when the elevator door opened. She was exhausted, physically and emotionally.

She almost jumped out of her chair when the telephone rang, the piercing shrill cutting through the silence of the room. He stirred in bed, she could see him rub his eyes and burrow his face deeper into the pillow to avoid the sound. The ring continued, relentless. Finally, a low- pitched whine. A breathy sigh as it spoke. "Are you going to get that?"

He only moved his arm, his hand feeling the night table until it reached the telephone. His gave sleepy hello, and after a few brief seconds, his thanks for the wake up call.

It moved. It stretched and yawned and pushed the linens aside. It was naked.

Never had an interview seemed so endless, so pointless. AJ brought his pager to him, so he could view the message on the tiny screen. His friends waited for his reaction with bated breath. His body became still, but his hands were clenching and unclenching. AJ, his own hands picking at his jeans from nervousness, could no longer take the silence. His words were expelled in a rush; he would have been barely comprehensible to strangers.

"Whata ya gonna do? You gonna go? You wanna talk to him? We got the day off tomorrow so we can put you on a plane today…you can go see her and work things out."

He did not move or speak.

Kevin leaned forward. "This is your chance, D. You have 24 hours before you need to be back for the show. Or she leaves New York and disappears again. It's your choice."

He opened his eyes and stared at the woman in his bed. She was one of the "Penny Lane's" who could always be found backstage or in the hotel lobby. Last night, she looked like his lover. This morning, she looked like a bad decision. His stomach rolled and whined as he remembered inviting her back to his room, and their having sex. It was not satisfying, because she was not his lover. He could not enjoy himself, after several minutes of thrusting he pulled away from her and said that it was pointless. He was tired, and it was not going to happen. He said he was not feeling well, which she believed, fortunately. He said that he did not mind if she stayed the night, he merely wanted a feel a woman's body next to him. His dreams were only of her, though.

He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. She saw that he was not interested in finishing what he began the previous evening, so she mustered up as much dignity as possible and sat up in bed. That is when she saw her, sitting in the chair. She gasped, clutched a bed sheet to her body, and yelled, "Who the fuck are you?"

He was so startled that he sat up and looked around, trying to find the source of her outburst through sleepy eyes.

They finally came to rest on her weary form, sitting in the chair.

He stared at her, incredulously.

She stared back, agony and sorrow written across her face.

He began to mumble incoherently. Nonsensical words, leaving the bed and trying to make his way towards her, to apologize, to beg forgiveness, anything she wanted so long as he never had to see that look on her face again.

She saw him approaching and started to get out of the chair. She kept shaking her head and choking out, "Don't…don't…don't…" as she made her way towards the door.

He was yelling after her. Where was she going? Please talk to me! Please! Don't leave! I love you! Let me explain!

She stumbled over an overnight bag, her tears clouding her vision. She grabbed her purse and struggled with the lock on the door. She wrenched the door open and fled down the hallway, into the open elevator. He ran after her, and managed to grab her arm and pull her against him as the elevator door closed. She was sobbing in the hallway, attracting attention from hotel staff on the floor.

He wanted to hug her, to hold her, but she kept pulling away. He tried to convince her to come back to the room, so they could talk. She kept shaking her head and mouthing no. He could feel her shaking. All he could think to do was tell her that he loved her over and over again.

She put her hands over her ears and screamed. "YOU DON'T LOVE ME! I GAVE UP MY LIFE FOR YOU AND I FIND YOU IN BED WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. THAT'S NOT LOVE! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" She could not continue through her sobs. Her voice carried across the hallway and through doors, and his band mates, also on that floor, began to emerge from their sleepy cocoons to question what was going on.

He tried to placate her. He tried to plead for mercy to no avail. She had backed into a wall and slid down to the floor, her head in her arms. She would not let him near her.

Brian was the first to emerge. He regarded the scene before him and stood stunned. Kevin joined him, as did AJ and Nick.

Then she came out, standing in his doorway, now clothed and wanting desperately to leave without drawing attention to herself.

They stared at her completely bewildered and baffled. The words they heard earlier now made sense. What they could not comprehend was the reason why. He loved her, he adored her, and they all knew that. What was he thinking?

Nick took the initiative to grab the woman in his doorway and drag her to the elevator. No one said anything while they waited for the elevator to arrive. The only sound was the sniffling from the corner. AJ knelt in front of her and gathered her into his arms. He rocked her back and forth on the floor and gestured to the others to leave them alone.

Kevin grabbed his arm and escorted him back to the hotel room.

She was still trembling, but more relaxed now that it was just the two of them. AJ gently tilted her face and wiped the tears from her cheeks. He asked if she wanted to talk, but she declined. He asked if she wanted to come to his room and rest, but she declined. He asked if she wanted to leave, and she said yes.

"Where will you go? Will you go back to Florida?"

No.

"You gonna stay with a friend?"

No.

"You can't just run away…you guys need to talk about this…you need to work things out…"

No.

He sighed. He did not know what to say. He looked back to find his own girlfriend, tears in her eyes, watching them. She had nightmares about finding AJ in this situation numerous times, and watching it happen to someone else was equally traumatic.

He turned back to find her picking lint from the carpet.

"No matter what, Isabelle, just know that he loves you. Whatever happened, he never meant to hurt you. He would never do that."

Finally, a tiny voice, raspy from crying, was heard.

"Guess what, Alex. He just did."

Kevin repeated himself. "24 hours, D. Are you going to go?"

He looked up and stared at nothing in particular. Then he nodded.

"Yeah, I'm going. How far is the airport from here?"