The scent of the flowers seemed almost overwhelming when I opened the heavy double doors of the small chapel. The florist was still there, straightening, fussing, making it all perfect. The chill of the crisp fall day disappeared as warmth flooded my body, and seeped through to my where my heart was beating too quickly. Yes, I was nervous, but not frightened. I knew what I was about to do was the right thing. I had spent many long nights searching my soul, imagining my life without him, and with him. Pain and loneliness were all I saw when he wasn't in my life. A life with Howie, well, I knew I would experience so many new things, and it wouldn't always be easy, but I loved that man, and I wanted desperately to be with him........Forever.

The florist waved to me, as I made my way to the small room in the back of the chapel. I waved back and said, "Everything looks beautiful, thank you so much."

"You are going to make a beautiful bride Sherl. I wish you all the happiness in the world. She answered. "By the way, I placed your bouquet on the table in the Bride room."

"Great. Thanks again."

The bouquet of white roses and babies' breath lay on the table just as she had said. A plum colored ribbon had been intertwined between the roses, and then wrapped around the long stems, bringing out the color I had chosen for my one and only attendant to wear. I had asked my college roommate and best friend to stand as my maid of honor. I had not seen her in the recent years, but we remained close. She had been my one and only confidant when I needed to talk about Howie. Choosing her dress had not been easy. She lived in Arizona, and was not able to come for fittings. In the end, we had worked out our problems and her dress was hanging next to mine, waiting.

"Sherl?" Terri's voice reached out to me. I turned and a sob caught in my throat when I saw her.

"Terri!" Instantly we were wrapped in a tight hug. We had missed each other terribly, and the past few years were instantly forgotten and we were college girls again, smiling and giggling.

"I always knew you would be the first to get married." She said through tears of joy.

"I can't believe this is happening." I told her. "I am so nervous."

"Sherl, it is going to be perfect, and you know it. So where is my dress, but, more importantly, where is YOUR dress?"

"Over there hanging up." I nodded to the far wall.

"OK well, my job as your maid of honor is to help get you ready, so let's get busy. Your wedding starts in an hour."

Together we dressed, Terri helping me with the dozens of tiny buttons that ran from the neckline of my gown to the waist. Just as she was finishing with the last few, Paula walked in. "Terri this is Howie's mother Paula. Paula, my best friend, Terri." After the introductions were made, Paula turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

"Sherl, Hoke and I have been waiting for this day for a long time. You look so beautiful. I feel very proud." She stood there smiling and dabbing at the tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

"Paula," I said, "I feel very honored to be part of your family. In a way I have always felt like I already was., but this makes it official." I reached out and took her in my arms. Holding her and hugging her close like a daughter would her mother.

"We had better get you down that aisle. My son doesn't like to be kept waiting."

As I walked out of the Bridal room I heard the tinkling sounds of a harp. Paula must have noticed the surprised look on my face. She turned and smiled up at me and said, "Howie thought you would like that." She kissed me lightly on the cheek turned and met the usher who would lead her down the aisle to take her place beside her husband.

"Sherl, I am scared." Terri said nervously.

"What do you have to be scared about?" I laughed. "I am the one getting married."

"I feel like I am losing my best friend. Promise me that is not going to happen." I saw insecurity in her pleading eyes, and it touched me deeply.

"I promise Terri, unless you make me late for this wedding. Now get your cute bottom down that aisle." We laughed together, but underneath that laughter, was the fear that maybe this really would separate us. I would be a married woman with an instant son, and Terri would go back to Arizona and her job. Our lives would be very different from that moment on.

"Last chance to stop me." She teased, and then looking back she asked in all seriousness, "You ready Sherl?"

I took a deep breath and smiled. "I'm ready."

As I looked down the aisle I saw the people who meant the most to me. My friends and coworkers were there. Those that I had grown close to during my summer stay at the cabin were sitting grouped together. Our families were dispersed throughout the pews. Paula and Hoke, my soon to be in-laws, Finally, as I began the slow walk down that path that would lead to my intended, I saw him. Howie stood there smiling at me, looking more handsome than I had ever seen him before. Standing next to him, holding a small pillow was Dwaine, looking like a small replica of his father. Behind Dwaine was Howie's brother, and best man. I took my place beside Howie and heard a small whispered voice say, "That's my new Mommy. Isn't she pretty?" Love flooded through me for the tiny boy. Kneeling down, I kissed him on the cheek and whispered into his ear.

"I love you Dwaine." I told him.

"I love you too.......Mommy." When I once again stood next to Howie, I noticed tears in his eyes. He has been watching me with Dwaine.

The minister started the service but it all became a blur. I was lost in Howie's eyes, in the way he was looking at me, and the feelings of love that we were sharing. Before I knew it, we were saying our vows and Howie leaned down, pulled the veil from my face and kissed me. It was I was waking from a dream, and I realized I was his wife.

Howie put his arm protectively around me and guided me back down the aisle. The feelings of love and happiness seemed overwhelming and I began to cry. Happy, joyous tears streamed down my face and dropped onto the white roses I was carrying.

We stopped at the back of the chapel and greeted our guests. As the faces swirled by, I found myself having a hard time concentrating on who was saying what to me. My thoughts kept creeping back to Howie. I yearned to be alone with him. To touch him, to hold him, to be one with him.