In today's society when a woman is pregnant it is as if she has joined a club of women. People are full of congratulations and speculation as to what sex the baby will be. But if a woman looses a baby nothing is said. It as if she is suddenly shunned and is no longer ready for her right of passage into the many ranks of women. People don't realize that this is a very delicate time for most women, they have just lost a baby. A baby in her eyes, and most people just don't understand the bond. This is a child that she has raised in her mind, thought of names and what this baby will look like. When she looses this baby, it as if her dreams die with it. When her pregnancy will have ended, she may leave the hospital or just be curled up on her bathroom floor. She is alone in her pain, and no baby to fill her arms or show for the struggle. Just an empty space in her heart that this baby would have filled. The said thing about this loss is that people will try to minimize the pain or the validity of the loss. This is a very valid loss! and it is important for her to grieve. Grieveing is done in different ways by many women and it is important for her to be able to do this in anyway that she need to. If it means curling up in bed for hours on end crying so be it. It is also important that she feel love and support by the people closest too her. If you want to make her feel special, valid and important aknowlage her loss. Send flowers or cards expressing your sympathy. A woman who has just lost her child feels loss, confusion, anger, and wonders the validity of her feelings. Make her feel valid, but don't intrude in her space.

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