by Alan Ng, Copyright 1992.

10. Excuse me, is this pew taken?

9. Haven't we prayed together before?

8. I know Dr. Dobson personally.

7. I've got a burning in my bosom for you.

6. I've prayed about it and God wants you to go out with me.

5. Has anyone ever told you, your eyes are like doves and your neck like the tower of David?

4. I'm not like those other (insert your church name here) guys.

3. I don't speak in tongues, but I kiss that way.

2. Hey baby, you wanna take the church van for a spin.

1. What's a nice Pentecostal girl like you, doing in a Conservative Baptist church like this?

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