Chapter 4

By: Victoria S.

I could tell that the person that walked into my room was tall, so I knew it couldn't be AJ or Nick. I just assumed that it was Kevin.

"Hi, Kev.. What are you doing here?" I asked looking into complete darkness.

"Hey, Rebecca," said the voice. "It's not Kevin."

"Who is it?"

"Nick.."

I quickly stood up from the bed, and turned on the light on my night stand.

"Nick.. Hi.." I said not really sure as to what I should say.

"I'm sorry to disturb you," he said sitting down on my bed.

"Oh, it's not a problem.. How are you?"

"I've been better," he said looking down at the floor.

"Did they not give you the right room or something?" I asked.

"No, the room is great. It's just that.." he said dragging his voice.

"Just that what?"

"I'm just not feeling that great. That's all."

I looked at him, and studied his face. His eyes were a little red, like he has just finished crying. His hair was all messed up, and looked like it hadn't been combed in awhile.

"Nick, I'm really sorry," I said.

"Sorry? Why are you sorry?"

"I'm sorry that I am making you feel this way.." I said walking around the room. "I never meant to hurt anyone."

"What do you mean?"

"I know that you like me. Brian told me today."

"He told you? How could he do that to me! Damn it!" he said getting up from the bed. "I have to go.." he said running over to the door. He opened it, and I ran after him.

"Nick, please.. Stay here. We need to talk."

"Talk about what? There's nothing to talk about.. You like AJ, he likes you, and that's all there is to it."

"No, that's not all there is to it. You like me, and..."

"And what? Just say it.."

"I like you."

"What? I am so confused. How can you like both AJ and me?"

"Very easily. See, the thing is that ever since I met you, I have liked you. My father told me that you thought I was cute, and I guess that kind of drew me to you.."

He sat down on the bed, and looked up at me. "You like me?" he said in a soft tone.

"Yes, Nick, I do.. I am so confused right now though. I don't know what to do. I like you so much, but I also like AJ. And I mean, I did kiss AJ, so that has to count for something."

"Yeah, I know you kissed him.. He told me.."

"Is that what you guys talked about in the room when I left?"

"Yeah, it is. I am just really upset that he went after you, and kissed you, because he knew how much I liked you. I have liked you ever since I saw your picture up on your father's desk. Your father always talks about you when we together, and when I finally met you, I realized that all the nice things that he has been saying about you are true. I even told AJ how I felt.. I can't believe that he did this.."

"AJ knew that you liked me?" I asked in shock. I couldn't believe that AJ would do something like that.. That just baffled me. There had to be some logical explanation.

"Yep."

OK, so maybe their wasn't an explanation. But how could AJ just go behind his best friends back? It didn't seem like something AJ would do. But then again, I had just met them. Things always weren't the way they seemed.

I didn't know what to say, so I just kept my mouth closed, and didn't say anything. We sat there for a few moments in silence both of us thinking about the things that were happening. Finally, Nick said something.

"I probably should leave.. You need to get ready for your date." He looked up at me, and stood up looking into my eyes. I knew that he didn't want to leave. I knew he wanted to stay, but he knew that it was time to go. He took a deep breath, and began walking towards the door.

"Nick?" I asked.

He turned and faced me.

"If AJ and I hadn't kissed, would there.. I mean, could there have been something between us?"

He paused, thinking, and then answered. "I know I would have liked that.."

Then he walked out of the room. I wanted to run after him, and pull him back into the room, but I didn't. I knew that I had just met both AJ and Nick, but I liked them both sooo much. It is very hard to explain, but it was this indescribable feeling. To tell you the truth, at that point I wasn't very sure if I wanted to go on that date with AJ anymore. A part of me wanted to go out with Nick instead. All this thinking, and wondering was adding up, and I knew I needed to speak to someone about it. I decided that I would get dressed for the night, and then go to Brian's room. I really needed to discuss my feelings with someone, and I knew that I could trust Brian. I opened up my big Nike bag that I had brought along with me, and began searching through all of my many outfits. Finally, after a lot of pondering, I decided on my long baby blue dress. It has spaghetti straps, and was sort of lacy, with one slit going down the side of the dress. I looked through the five pairs of shoes that I had brought with me, and decided on my white platform sandals. I put on the clothes, and then went to bathroom to do my makeup. Once I was done doing that, I brushed through my long blonde hair, and decided to leave it down. I looked at myself in the mirror, and I was satisfied with what I saw. I grabbed my white purse, put my money, my father's credit card which he had let me borrow, my keys to the room, compact, and my lipstick in my purse. Then, I left the room, and walked down the hall to Brian's room. I knocked on the door once, but there was no answer. I knocked once more, but still, no answer. Just as I turned to walk away, I heard a voice behind me.

"You looking for me?" Brian asked walking towards the door holding a bucket of ice for his room.

"Hey Brian.. Yes, for you.."

"Come on in," he said opening the door for me. We walked in, and he closed the door behind us. He put the bucket of ice on his dresser, and turned to face me.

"What's up?"

"I just wanted to talk.."

"Oh yeah? Anything in particular?" he asked me knowing what the answer would be.

"Umm.. Let me think!" I said sarcastically. "Nick came to see me a few minutes ago.."

"He did? What did he say?" he asked suddenly extremely interested.

"We talked about the kiss.. I told him that you told me that he liked me."

"What did he say?"

"He was just really hurt.. He said that AJ knew that he liked me, and he was upset at the fact that AJ still went after me.. Oh, Brian, I don't know what to do.."

"Did you do what I told you to do?"

"Not really. I was going to do it when we arrived here at the hotel, but then Nick came to see me.."

"You wanna know what I think?"

I nodded. I was all ears. Open for any suggestions that he was willing to offer. I need advice, and I knew I needed it badly.

"I think that you should still go out on the date with AJ tonight, hang out, talk, see what kind of things you two have in common. Then, later on, we will all get together, maybe meet at a night club, and you'll see Nick. Hang out with both of them, and then make your decision. I know it's going to be hard, but sooner, or later, you have to decide.."

"I know, Brian. I know.." I looked over at the clock that was on his night stand. It read 8:59. "I'm supposed to meet AJ in his room in about a minute. Will you come with me so we can decide what we are all going to do together later on?"

"Sure, of course I'll come," Brian said.

Actually, the real reason I wanted him to come with me was so AJ and I could avoid the ackwardness of 'You look good..' Or even worse, a kiss. I mean, I wanted to kiss him, but I still didn't feel right. I didn't want to do anything without me being sure of what I wanted.

He opened the door for me, and we walked out into the hallway. We turned right, and headed towards AJ's room. Brian knocked on the door, and a minute later AJ answered it. When he swung the door open, I stood there in shock as to how gorgeous he looked. He had all the qualities that I was looking for in a guy.. But then again, so did Nick. He was wearing a pair of baggy khakis, with a white wife-beater, and a light blue 'Polo' button down shirt over it, covering up his tattoos.

He looked me over once, and said "Nice.." and then smiled. He leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and as he did I smelled the sweet scents of what I thought to be 'Polo Sport.' "Hey Rok.. What's up?" AJ asked Brian.

"Nothing really, Bone. Just hanging with Becca.." Brian then turned to me, and asked "Do you mind if I call you Becca?"

"Oh no, not at all.. My father calls me Becca all the time. It's cool," I said smiling.

"Alright, good.. Anyways, Bone, I just came over here cause I wanted to know what our plans were for later on tonight. Are we going to meet somewhere? Maybe a club or something.."

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking about. I made reservations at a restaurant for Rebecca and me, but then maybe we can meet at that club that's by Fisherman's Wharf. We went there last time we were here, and it was pretty cool."

"That sounds fine. What time?"

"How about.." AJ said looking down at his pager for the time "11:30?"

"OK, that's good. I'll tell the rest of the guys.. So, we'll see you at 11:30 outside the club?" Brian asked AJ.

"Yep," AJ said nodding his head.

"OK, cool. I'll see you two later.." He then turned to me, and said "Think about what I told you, alright?"

I nodded my head, and Brian turned and walked down the hallway towards his room. I then turned to face AJ.

"Come in for a sec.." he said pulling my hand into the room. We walked in, and he said "I just need to brush my teeth real quick. You can go ahead and sit down if you want.." He then went into the bathroom, and closed the door behind him.

I walked farther into the room, and looked around. I noticed right off the bat that he was a very messy person. There were clothes thrown all over the floor. This was one thing that I didn't like about a guy. I was a very neat person. I always had everything in its right order, and in its right place all the time. If it wasn't, I felt so disorganized, and could never find anything. It looked like he had tried on about 20 pairs of clothing before deciding on what to wear. I walked to his dresser, and saw a bottle of 'Polo Sport' for Men sitting on top of it.

"So, I was right.." I said aloud.

"Right about what?" AJ asked walking into the room. He had a towel in his hands, and was wiping his face off.

"Just that when you gave me the kiss on the cheek I thought I smelled 'Polo Sport' on you. And I was right."

"I like a girl who knows her scents.." he said walking towards me. I turned and faced him, and he put his arms around my waist, kissing my neck.

"Ready to go?" I said walking away from him. I don't really know why I walked away. I kind of felt like I was betraying Nick or something. I guess that was ridiculous, since Nick and I weren't even dating. It was very strange, but I didn't like the fact that AJ and I were getting closer. I mean, I liked it, but there was also a part of me that felt like I was doing something wrong.

"You in a rush?" he asked inquiring why I had just walked away from him.

"Not really.. Just kinda hungry," I said rubbing my stomach.

"Well, in that case, let's go.." He grabbed his keys, and money, and stuffed them in his pockets, and then we were ready to go.

We walked out of the room, and as we were walking down the hallway I asked him "How are we going to get to the restaurant? We don't have a car.."

"Not to worry, my dear, that's all taken care of.."

I gave his this puzzled look, but we just kept continuing to walk all the way to the hotels entrance. He led me over to a parked 99' Black Expedition SUV. He opened the door for me, and I got in. He walked over to the drivers side, and got in also.

"Is this your car?" I asked still confused.

"No, it's not. It's like my car, but it's not my car. Everytime we go on the road, and we stay in one specific place for a few days at a time, our management gets us each a car so we can drive around, and have some freedom."

"Wow, that's so cool," I said amazed.

"Yeah, it is pretty dope.." he said looking over at me, and then looking over his shoulder, and backing out of the parking space.

"So, where is the restaurant that we are going to? Anything that I would have heard of?"

"Yeah, you may have. Have you ever heard of 'Pinot'? It's a whole chain of restaurants.."

"Yes, I have."

"Well, that's where we are going. I like 'Pinot'. They have the bomb ass food, and great service.. Plus, the restaurant is right by the water. When I made reservations I made sure to ask for a table by the water. We are gonna have an awesome view," he said.

"Sounds cool.. When did you have time to do all this?"

"Actually, I made the reservations three days ago.." he said slyly.

"What?" I asked shocked. "Three days ago?"

He nodded his head, and continued driving.

"So, you just assumed that I would go on this date with you?"

"I was hoping that you would... And even if you had said no, I could have just as easily canceled the reservations."

"So was it your plan to kiss me also?"

"No, that just happened.. Why? Are you regretting it?"

I didn't answer. I didn't know if I regretted it or not. I sure as hell knew that I had enjoyed it. He was a great kisser.. But I knew that I wasn't completely happy that it happened. I wasn't as happy as I should have been. Since I didn't know the answer, I just decided not to answer the question. I kind of avoided it.

"So, how long until we get there?" I asked trying to get off of the subject.

AJ knew that I was avoiding him, but he wanted an answer to his question. "Did you regret it?" he asked me once more.p I again didn't answer. I didn't want to lie and say 'No, of course not..' But then I didn't want to straight out tell him that I wasn't sure if kissing him was the right thing to do. I knew I would hurt him if I said that, so I just kept my mouth closed.

He knew that I was avoiding him once more, so he pulled over to the side of the road, and turned the engine off, then faced me.

"What are you doing AJ?" I asked. "We are going to be late.."

"I don't care," he said. "I want you to answer my question. Did you regret it?" He looked at me straight in the eye, and I knew that I couldn't avoid the question any longer.

I took a deep breath, and said "I don't know.." I looked down at my hands, and felt like I was going to burst crying. I didn't want to appear like I was a huge baby, so I held my ground, and kept a stiff upper lip.

"What do you mean you don't know? How can you not know? It's a yes or no question.." he said beginning to get a little annoyed with me.

I totally understood why he was starting to get angry, and I didn't blame him. All he wanted was an answer. It was a yes or no answer. It seemed like such a simple answer, but then again, it wasn't. If I said yes, I was saying that I was sorry for ever kissing him, and that I basically didn't like him. Which was totally wrong. And if I said no I was basically saying that I had enjoyed it, which I did, but I was also saying that I wanted to be with him, and that I really had no doubts or regrets about it. I was so torn. I couldn't decide. I didn't know what to say, so again I was silent.

"It's Nick isn't it?" he said looking at me with a somber face.

Right when he said that the first thing I thought was 'Oh Shit.. He knows.' How did he know that I liked Nick? Did he really know? Or was it just an assumption? I couldn't really tell. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know whether I should tell him the truth, tell him that I liked both him and Nick, or whether I should just keep my mouth closed. Finally, I just nodded my head in agreement to his question.

"Man, I told him to back off.. I told him that you liked me, and that he should just stay out of it. He just never seems to listen. He always does this.. He always falls for the same girl that I like. It's like he can't find his own chick or something. He has to go take mine.."

"But, AJ, I'm not yours," I said in a whisper.

His eyes grew wide. "What?"

"I'm not yours.. It's not like we are an official couple.. Just because we kissed doesn't mean.." Before I had a chance to finish my sentence, he cut me off.

"You do regret the kiss, don't you?"

This time I answered without even thinking twice about it. "It's not that I regret it, because I don't. I actually really liked the kiss.. It's just that.."

"Come on, just tell me damn it," he said in a bitchy tone.

"I like Nick."

"You don't like me?"

"Yes, I do," I said.

"Wait a second.. Hold up," he said. "Let me get this straight. You like both Nick and me?"

I nodded my head.

He turned his body towards the steering wheel, and faced the road, draping both of his arms across the wheel. He didn't really know what to say, and I couldn't blame him. It must have all come to him as a complete shock. We sat there for a few minutes in silence. He just kept staring out the wind shield, and I just kept staring at AJ. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I knew what I had just told him hurt him very badly, but I knew that I had done the right thing by telling him the truth. I knew that if I was him I would have wanted to know the truth, and not some fake bullshit story.

"AJ, please say something.."

"What do you want me to say?" he yelled.

"I don't know.." I whimpered.

"Yeah, that's right. You DON'T know. You DON'T know the way I am feeling right now, and you DON'T know how much you have just hurt me." He took a deep breath, and calmed down a little bit. "Look, I'm really sorry for yelling like that, alright? It's just that I liked, I mean, I like you so much, and I thought you felt the same way."

"I do feel the same way."

"Yeah, I know, but you also feel the same way for Nick. What you need to do is just decide.."

Then, I did what I had been trying to hold back.. I had tried so hard, but I failed miserably. I began to cry. I cried for what seemed like hours. AJ didn't really know what to do, or say to confort me. So, he did what the only thing he felt he could do. He opened his door, and walked over to my side of the car. He opened my door, unbuckled my seat belt, and embraced me in a warm, friendly hug. I knew that's what I needed. I needed a shoulder to cry on. And that's what I got.

"Whatever you decide will be fine with me.. If you like Nick more than me, I can handle it, alright?" he said lifting up my chin, and looking and me in the eyes. "I just want you to know that I will always be here for you as a friend.."

"I do.. I do.." I said between sobs.

"Do you still want to go to dinner?" he asked.

"Not really.. I kind of lost my appetite."

"Do you still want to go to the club later on tonight?"

I didn't really feel in the mood for dancing, or drinking, or whatever the hell we were going to do, but I said yes anyways, because I knew Nick would be there. And that was the moment that the puzzle finally came into place. Everything seemed to make sense.

"Yes, AJ, I still want to go to the club.."

AJ seemed to know exactly what I was thinking about, because he said "Cause of Nick, right?"

Without thinking I blurted out "Yeah."

He looked down at his pager, and said "Then we better get going, because we are supposed to meet them in a few minutes.."

"You want me to go?"

"Yes, I do. I want you to do anything that makes you happy. If Nick is what is going to make you happy, then I want you to be with Nick. But if we sit here and talk about it any longer, we're gonna be late."

I smiled for the first time in a few hours.

"There's that smile.." he said gleefully. "Before we go, I just want to tell you something."

"What is it?" I asked interested.

He leaned in, and in my ear he whispered "You and Nick are perfect for each other.." Then, he walked over to his side of the car, got in, and began to drive to the club in silence.

So many things were running through my mind at that moment. I couldn't believe AJ was cool about me liking Nick.. I couldn't get over the fact that all I needed to do was talk things through with him. I knew from that moment that he was a great guy, and a really great friend. It just took me a little longer to see that what I liked so much about him were his qualities as a friend, and not as a boyfriend. I knew Nick could fulfill the boyfriend part.. I just only hoped that he still wanted me...

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