Subject: Saluting the Flag Day
Date: Tue, 02 June 1998 11:13 PM EDT
From: MikeLa23
In honor of those who are counting down the days until Flag Day:
The top ten reasons why Flag Day is better than those other holidays
1. It's not a holiday just because random chance makes it the first day of the year.
2. It's not celebrated every year with some cheesy guys dressing up in bad wigs or stove pipe hats trying to sell you a used car or a mattress.
3. Flag Day isn't some made up holiday whose main purpose seems to be to line the pockets of greeting card companies and flower shops.
4. No really drunk Irish people running around.
5. There are no infestations of giant bunnies leaving eggs (that they got from God knows where), that little children could accidently choke on, all over the place.
6. Aliens have never attacked the earth in overrated (and over-hyped) movies named after Flag Day.
7. Flag Day is not named for some guy who "discovered" a place that already had thousands of people living there. (Like discovering it was such a big deal anyway. Look at the size of the place, somebody was bound to come across it eventually.)
8. No pint size blackmailers in frightening costumes(have you seen the Barney costume?) foraging through peaceful neighborhoods demanding candy in return for not commiting some terrorist act defined as a "treat".
9. Flag Day is not celebrated with the wholesale slaughter of innocent turkeys (leaving millions of baby turkeys orphaned) in the name of a traditional meal.
10. The day after Flag Day, you don't have to trudge up to your roof with a mop and bucket to clean-up the little "presents" left by reindeer driving the getaway vehicle of a plump reprobate who is busy breaking and entering, under the guise of delivering gifts but in reality just casing the place so his cronies can come back and help themselves to your good stuff at a later date.
Flag Day Rocks
Mike
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