Growing up Lance had always wanted to be a detective. At first his parents were agianst it, because he's from Mississippi. But eventually they got sick of seeing him wear a dog costume, so they bought him the entire Sherlock Holmes series and the matching wardrobe. Little did they know how useful Lance's detective skills would be when he joined NSYNC.
Late one evening on one of the boys night's off, they were all chillin at da crib, Justin's mom's house that is. Justin and Chris were playin some b-ball, JC was sleeping, Joey was on his way to the cooler full of jello he kept with him at all times, while Lance was in the den reading his favorite Sherlock Holmes mystery: The Adventure of the Dancing Man. (Yes that is a real book!!) All of a sudden a high pitched scream came from down the hall, all of the guys dropped what they were doing and ran towards the sound. When they reached the place the scream had come from, they found Joey curled up on the floor crying, with an empty cooler sitting next to him. Joey sadly looked up and wailed, "All of my jello is gone!!!!" JC sleepily shook his head and calmly told Joey, "Yes we can see that, but didn't you use it all last night in Beth's pool?" (heehee can u tell who's writing?) Joey sat quietly, thinking (shocker, huh?) and after a long while spoke in a very confident voice saying, "No, well yes I did, but I made sure to go to the store this morning to re-stock. I even had it on my list of things to do, right under buy new superman underoos!" The guys all exchanged glances, all except for Lance that is, who was busy tugging on his adams apple er chin, deep in thought.
Knowing of Lance's dream to become a detective, Joey looked up at him with his sad brown eyes and said, "You have to help me find it!!" Lance smiled knowingly and said, "This looks like a job for.......Lance & Toby!" "Ummm guys can't we just go to the store and get some more?", JC asked. "That would work for now, but what happens if that crate got stolen or the next or........." Lance was interrupted by Chris who was too hyper to deal with any of this, "Alright, alright we get the picture! How about if me and Justin go get some more jello, while you and toby play detective." "Sounds good to me", JC replied, "now I am going back to sleep, so Joey keep the crying to a minimum, ok?" Joey just sadly nodded his head and went back to sucking his thumb. Before any of them could say a word Lance dashed down the hall, and returned in his Sherlock Holmes outfit (which, might I add, was just a tad small by now.) riding Toby and carrying his worn copy of "The Bedside, Bathtub & Armchair Companion to Sherlock Holmes". Which had become his detective Bible. Still sitting atop Toby lance looked down and in his best detective voice asked, "Alright, Joey when and where did you last see the jello, and give me a complete description." Joey told him he had last seen it in the cooler, and yes he knew it was in there when they got to the house, because he had checked on it every five minutes. He paused for a moment to ask why Chris and Justin hadn't gone to get his new jello yet, and then went on to describe every detail you could possibly imagine about the jello. Lance furiosly scribbled down every word he said, and before you could say Hi Ho Silver, him and Toby took off down the hall in a flash.
As Toby galloped down the dark street, Lance was busy going over the notes he had made. He suddenly remembered when Joey had gone to get some whipped cream and his jello had been left unattended. Lance quickly turned Toby back toward the house, took out his trusty magnifying glass, and headed back towards the empty cooler. Luckily, Justin and Chris had returned with more jello, so he didn't have to worry about distracting Joey. Upon inspecting the area around the cooler he found a single blond hair. Lance smiled as if he already knew who it was, and tucked the blond hair into his platic baggy. As lance was about to straddle Toby he noticed a tiny trail of red powder, once taking a closer look, and taste, he realized it was *surprise,surprise* a trail of jello.
Lance quickly jumped on Toby's back, and yelled "Follow that jello!!" Toby took off after the jello, only stopping to eat it once. Back at the house JC had gone back to sleep, Justin and Chris were now playing Mario Kart, while Joey was saying, "But itsa me, Mario." (That was for you, CJ) Joey was so busy fixing his mustache to look exactly like the Mario Bros., that he didn't hear the back door slowly open. When it closed agian all that was left of the 50 cups of jello was the spoon Joey had eaten the first 15 with. Lance had been following the jello trail for about 5 miles now, when it trailed off into a huge white van. Lance carfully dismounted Toby, and pulled open the van door. Inside the van was a huge pile of unopened jello packages and right in the middle was a bowling ball. Lance stared at it curiously, and suddenly a look of recognition crossed over his face. Just as he was reaching for the bowling ball, he heard the loud wail. Not agian, he thought, how much jello does Joey need? Can't he live without it for one night, Lance thought to himself as he re-mounted Toby, and headed back to the house.
On the way back to the house, while riding Toby, Lance was busy reading his How to Be A Detective book, when suddenly on the walkway up to the backdoor something glistened in the moonlight. He pulled on Toby's reigns and the horse obediantly came to a stop. Lance reluctantly got down from Toby, and kneeled by the object on the ground to get a closer look. He inhaled sharply when he saw what it was. He picked it up, and ran inside the house, forgetting all about poor Toby. Lance ran inside the house, waving the object above his head franticly while crying,"I've got em, I've got em!!!" All the guys came running in and exchanged glances. Finally Joey broke the silence, "Umm Lance, that's just a tape. I don't know much but I don't think a tape can steal my jello." Lance shook his head and smiled, "Not just any tape Joey!! It is a demo tape for Island Breeze!!!!!" Lance looked at them expectantly, but the only thing he got was four blank faces staring back at him. Before Lance could say stalker, there came a loud whinny from outside. Suddenly Toby burst through the doors with a neigh, carrying a familiar black sweater in his mouth. "Good boy, Toby. I will give you a special reward later. Does this look familiar?" Lance asked desperatly. At first nothing, but slowly a look of recognition and then of horror crossed each boys face. "I found a pile of unopened jello, sitting around a bowling ball, also." Lance told the guys. "I think I'm gonna be sick." Joey moaned and ran toward the bathroom. "So how are you going to catch the culprit?" Jc asked. Lance looked around and huddled all the guys together, which he often does for no reason, and told them his plan. "Hellz nah!!" Justin cried, before JC quickly covered Justin's mouth with his hand.
Justin was to sit in the jello pool trying to atract the culprit while the other guys waited in the bushes with Toby. For some reason Justin was not goin for it, so they ended up having to tie him down. It wasn't a pretty sight!! They finally got Justin to stop whining by covering his mouth with tape, and patiently waited in the bushes with Toby. Seeing as Chris pigtails were too hard to hide in the bushes they decided to have Chris wait just inside the back door. After about an hour of just sitting and waiting they finally heard a noise. They had to cover JC's mouth because he had fallen asleep and was breathing very loudly, luckily they had extra tape. They sat and watched the figure move slowly across the lawn towards a very scared Justin and the jello. They waited until the figure had reached the very edge of the blowup pool Joey kept handy for those lonely nights, and Lance gave the signal. The guys jumped out of the bushes, and Toby raced toward the culprit at warp speed. The guys slowly walked over to the figure, whom Toby was now sitting on, and Lance did the honor of pulling off the mask.
All the guys just stood and stared, while JC, who had finally woken up, ran inside to call the police. He paused to ask, "Should I tell them we caught a jello theif or we caught a stalker?" In unision all of the guys yelled, "STALKER!!!!" Not knowing what to say, they just stood there staring at the girl before them. She finally broke the silence, "Can someone please get this big dumb animal off of me!!!" The guys looked at eachother and shrugged, and Lance called Toby off. She stood up and said, "So how have you been, I haven't seen you guys since your last concert, since I go to every single one. Great show by the way." Joey just glared at her, and Chris asked the question that was on everyone's mind, "Why, JUSTINA, why?!?!" She smiled and said, "Well you guys brought my family together, and so I feel I owe you.". "Umm, how is stealing my jello repaying us for that bull s@#$ story?", "Well, Joey, I couldn't help but notice *along with the rest of the world* that you have been putting on a little weight, and seeing as jello is so fattening, I thought I would do you a favor and take your jello supply from you.". Luckily Chris and Lance were strong enough to restrain Joey from doing anything to her. (Damn!) By this time JC had returned with the police and management who slapped a restraining order on her butt. After the whole thing was over and they had finally gotten Justina out of their lives (or so they thought) things went back to normal, well almost. Joey was going through withdrawals since he hadn't had his daily dosage of jello, and put on his Superman jammies with the cape and began to "fly" around the house. JC was sleeping and Chris went back to playing video games when he suddenly remembered they had left Justin tied up in the jello pool. He quickly ran out to a very pissed off looking Justin, and took the tape off. "Yo wussup wit dat, whyz you b dissin me like dat?!" Chris mumbled an apology and quickly untied him, so he could go back to beating poor little Justy at Mario Cart. On the way inside, they found Lance curled up on the couch reading Sherlock Holmes: Deadly Season, A Western Story. Chris stopped to ask, " Lance, how did you know how to do all that detective stuff?" Lance replied, "Well because I am from Mississippi."
Will Lance ever realize that "I'm from Mississippi" is not an answer to everything? Find out next time on The Adventures of Lance and Toby.
*~*Note: we do not hate Justina for meeting NSYNC!!! This is our revenge for her giving us dirty looks the entire time we were at Mowtown Live!! Because we are too sweet to do anything to that obnoxious face of hers!! =)*~*
