Work

actual photo




  Matt's Brain works in an industrial complex surrounded by heavy machinery, old classic cars, just plain old junk cars, and sometimes a piece of the Space Shuttle.  What the brain 'exactly' does, is classified.  We can tell you that the brain is in an upper-mangement role.  The air sometimes is polluted with toxic airborn chemicals created by the high tech components that we assemble and manufacture.  It is because of this, the brain is freguently mentally worn out.

  The morning starts with the radio going off at 15:00 g.m.t. The 'three S's follow.

Then the fun begins:


I always take the most exciting way to work I can.



  • The commute starts promptly at 15:45 g.m.t. and ends, hopefully, at 15:55 g.m.t.  What's that? Not enough time behind the wheel?  Jealousy will get you nowhere.  Keep in mind that my average speed, if I have my way, is 100 k.p.h. on surface steets.

  •   So I'm probably at work for three or four minutes and already the phone starts ringing.  Let's see, who isn't here, yet... "ten bucks its that looney assistant we hired...Hmmm."  Pick up the phone and say, "Good morning, 'Conglomorated Couplings,' can I help you?"

      A faint, weak voice says:"I'm sick." I was right, it's her.  "If you don't believe me, I'll come down and take my temperature in front of you,"  Meanwhile I'm thinking, 'You Bitch!!! Fuck you!!! You be little me! Giving me no chance to feel anything for you.'

      I respond, "Well, if you have a fever, I wouldn't think of you getting out of bed and infecting me! Sorry..."

      "Don't get mad,I really am sick," she says.

      There is nothing for her to do here anyway.   She will go back to bed, wake up at 18:00 g.m.t., roll out of bed, and smoke a joint watching Judge Judy.  All American trash!  'CLICK'  She hung up!!!!  Well,...maybe I should go over to her house later and bring her some Nyquil.  Naw,.. fuck her.  No Christmas bonus.  Later she will quit and get full unemployment from the state because I cussed at her after she quit!

  •   The fun has started early today.  Five minutes into the day and already I'm pissed off at somebody.  People suck.  If I'm not keeping employees in line, then I'm fixing or making them fix their own fuck-ups.  I only do an average of 15-20 minutes of sales work a day and sometimes that's too much.  If I developed a time machine, you would think I would be an innovator.  Nope, what I would be is on time.  They want lots of everything, for the lowest price, yesterday.  No, hold on, how about three weeks ago.  Sometimes when you order a cheap piece of something overnight, you get a quick piece of overnight cheapness.  So otherwise, the brain is doing stuff we can't talk about, don't wanna talk about, or wouldn't tell you if we could.  The Brain is satisfied with work however, so don't think I'm dissin' my job.




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since December 10, 1998