Scott: I won! I won! I got me money to buy meself a car
Sean: Shut up. I lost all me allowance, and it isn't bloody fair
ABs: Why do we 'ave to be 'ere? Me mum said gambling is bad an' I shouldn't ever do it cause I'd lose all me money
J: Where's Rich? It's time for his hourly beatin'
Scott: **sees showgirl that looks like Rich** Oh no, is that 'im?
J: I don't want to be in a group with 'im if 'e acts like that again
Scott: When are we going to the States for a tour? I want even more people to luv me
ABs: We're not popular enough. Everyone luvs the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC, those bloody wankers
Rich: I feel so pretty. Why don't you guys ever dress up?
Scott: We don't look as pret'y as you do in 'igh 'eels
Message over PA system: Scott Robinson, please report to the front desk, you have a telephone call
**Scott leaves to the front desk, and Rich runs off to the stage for his next number**
Scott: **on phone** 'ello?
Caller: Agent Double O Zero, there's an emergency. Earlier we received news that a psychotic, evil terrorist has captured all the nuclear weapons in the world and has them pointed at the States
Scott: This must be the work of Evil Professor Comrade Jay. I'll be at HQ right away
Caller: Get your secretary, Dollar Coin too
Scott: I don't want to, I 'ate 'im
**Scott leaves to change into his tux and reluctantly brings Rich (Dollar Coin) with him to HQ**
J: Sean, go downstairs. You can win a teddy down in the arcade
Sean: Really?!?! Yeah! **runs out**
J: Number 3, my evil agents 'ave captured all the nuclear weapons in the 'hole bloody world
ABs: What are we going to do with them?
J: You're a bloody fool. I told you our evil plan was to make us popular in the States and if they still luv the BS Boys or *NSTYNC more than us, we'll blow them up. We need to make sure Double O Zero doesn't mess our plans **evil laugh**
ABs: Yeah! I want everyone to luv me and my pret'y eyebrows that are real
J: Whatever 3
**Later that night, Sean receives a call from Double O Zero**
S: 'ello?
000: S, Evil Professor Comrade Jay has all the nuclear weapons pointed at the States. 'e can't blow it up, we're not popular enough there yet
S: O.K., I'll go work on some cool gadgets, but only after I win a teddy in the arcade
000: 'urry up
**At British Secret Service HQ in Monte Carlo, in S's lab**
S: Dollar Coin, don't touch that nailpolish, it's really sulfuric acid. You'll burn your fingers off
Dollar Coin: Oh no, that would be truly awful, wouldn't it Double O Zero?
000: I wish you'd burn your bloody 'ead off
Dollar Coin: Whot?
000: Um, it would be bad if you burnt your pret'y 'ead off
Dollar Coin: Oh you're so sweet **tries to hug 000**
000: Rich, Dollar Coin, whoever you are, don't touch me I don't like you like that. In fact I 'ate you. We just need an ugly gay member in the group so the rest of us look cuter
Dollar Coin: Right, I didn't mean to
S: Stop fooling around, we need to stop Evil Professor Comrade Jay from destroying the States. BSB and *NSYNC are from there, and with their help we will become more popular
Dollar Coin: Oh no, they won't hurt my Nick-ay, Lancey or Sweet D, will they?
000: Dollar Coin, why do you care?...wait, that was a bloody stupid question, they're all the ugly gay ones in their groups and you must all belong to some club for the ugly, gay boy band members or something
Dollar Coin: Something like that...