This was a hotly debated topic on the SMBOTTOMS mailing list recently.
The subject of boy vs. slave is definitely one filled with strong feelings and thoughts. I saw a fantastic exchange of ideas on the different view points and learned quite a bit about the way I define boy and slave, and how identifying as a boy altered my perceptions of what the definitions are.
According to the deviant's dictionary the "definition" of slave and boy are below: (of course this is one person's view)
- slave -- Once used more generally for an SM bottom, this is now becoming limited to submissive in a long-term dominant- submissive relationship. See master.
- boy -- Common term for male submissive, especially among gay men, with less expression of permanence about it than the term 'slave'. May or may not imply age play, where the adult referred to takes on the role of a younger male. Is also sometimes used of women taking a similar role. See also Daddy.
To me, being a boy doesn't necessarily imply immaturity. In the same way, being a slave doesn't imply being a robot. This was something that I railed against my Daddy about for a very long time because I did not understand the concept of being a slave.
Being a boy is something special. For me, having my daddy acknowledge me as his boy is a badge that I wear proudly. I am a boy because I look at the world with wonderment. I am a boy because I listen to my Daddy and take his direction (though Daddy says it is only "kinda, sorta most of the time"). I am impish, and playful and interact with my Daddy sharing my wonderment and fascination with the world. My Daddy responds by helping to protect that wonderment and fascination, encouraging me to be curious and fun loving and watching me interact with others as I grope for the words to explain why being a boy is right for me.
I am not sure I can explain why I am fulfilled by taking on this role. I can tell you that there are certain expectations that Daddy has for me. I work hard to live up to those expectations. But when all is said and done, I don't think I can explain why I get such a thrill with Daddy holding me in his arms at night and saying, "Good night little boy", or why my response is so natural when I say, "Good night Daddy". I know that all of the love, and security and protection and respect I could ever want can be shown there. Or the pride I feel when after I have achieved a new plateau with play time and Daddy tells me how proud he is. Or how happy I am when Daddy asks me to do something because he knows that I can do it, and can do it without his supervision because I have learned something. In this way, I make his life easier, giving him fulfillment which in turn fulfills me.
I used to think that being a slave was something akin to being a robot. This person did what his master said in exactly the way he said it, in only the way he said it. Today, I know better than that. A slave, at times, will do exactly the above. More often than not though, a slave uses their mind to fulfil their master's wishes in the best way they can. I wish I could speak to the fulfillment that a slave gets. I, sometimes, wish I had that understanding. I can't say that I will always be a boy. I can tell you that I have no aspirations of being a top/sir/master, ie. A Boy in training to be a Top. I enjoy being who and what I am. My Daddy's A-number-1 boy.
My understanding of what a slave is, is of course biased. I veiw things from my perspective, which is that of a boy. At the core of every slave I have ever met, I have noticed a desire to provide service to make those around them more comfortable. A slave seems to me to have taken that to a higher level with the one they call Master, to the point of giving themselves over, completely to that person. They take and give everything they can because that is what they want. In essance, the more this person gives, the greater their reward, within themselves. There is a great deal of pride (not to be confused with ego!) that goes into knowing what you are capable of and giving IT ALL to the one you call master, and when the master acknowledges your work favorably, I would imagine it is similar to what I feel, being a boy, when my Daddy says, "Good job little boy". Also, there is the concept of ownership. A master owns their slave. As such, the slave may be viewed as a peice of valuable property. The slave also gets fulfillment out of this because that is the strongest outward manifestation of giving themselves completely to another person. In many ways, to me, this is the actual representation of marriage, where the two are now one.
Whether you are bottom, boy, submissive or slave, we each have a role we assume / adopt / are that makes us unique and special within ourselves and within our community. To put a derisive definition on us is to limit, catagorize, segregate and finally rank each sub group of the bottom world. I am no better or worse than the slave, bottom or submissive, I am merely different. My actions speak for who and what I am, and my actions give me a bond with others in the BDSM community who take on the roles of bottom, boy, submissive or slave, both male and female.
