Lorne

He’s upstairs. Let me tell you something, sugarplums, when he came in with those cheekbones and blue-blue eyes my little heart went pitter-pat, but he’s already taken. When Angel went into the other room to calm down and everybody went after him, the kid sat on the big hoo-ha in the lobby and hummed to himself a little. Poor, sweet, stupid kid; he’s my new best friend. I’ll tell him tomorrow.

I tried to get the Slayer to sing for me when she and her crew drifted by a couple of months ago, but she just smiled and ignored my little suggestion. Doesn’t matter. I could hear her “I love you” breathing through the old folk ditty he hummed, and I could hear him saying she didn’t mean it, but thanks.

’Course, he was lying. He believed her.

Anyway, Angel’s fuming like a smokestack, and who can blame him? All that work, and Yum-Yum gets his heartbeat. He must want to kill something. A specific something with a pulse, I’d say.

You know, now that I think about it I’m pretty relieved that the kid decided to go to bed early.

If Angel stands there gnashing his teeth and clenching his fists any longer, he’s going to develop a hernia. Which, considering that he’d undead, really won’t do a thing to him. So he should be grateful he’s not human, right? Humans have to put up with nasty physical ailments, like lumbago, and, uh … mange? Not fun at all.

Okay, the ship has sailed. The Shanshu ship sailed. Hey, try say that five times fast! But no, I’m serious here. He already has a soul, so it’s not like Shanshu=forgiven, not Shanshu=burn in hell. What’s so good about being human anyway? The ability to die of the plague? Go, death! Hey, he plays a good game of chess, but other than that? Avoid the guy.

Actually, now that I think about it? Avoid him extra with the chess.

I know about Angel’s day as a mortal. “Mandy,” remember? I never told him, because it’s easier for him to handle these things on his own; the guy’s not big on the sharing, which can be a good thing. If he had someone to talk about that with, that would be all he’d do, relieve the day over and over again. This way, he can push it to the back of his mind and keep going.

The thing is, he doesn’t want to be human. No matter what he tells himself, no matter what he thinks it means. If he was human he’d just be one more schlub in a city full of them. And guys who want to be schlubs don’t buy hotels or run evil corporate empires. Er, corporate empires formerly associated with evil and now pretty much in a gray area. But leaning towards good! It’s a start, right?

Anyway, the point is that guys who want to be schlubs sit quietly in their rooms, trying to make themselves too small to attract attention. The guy upstairs? He wants be a schlub. Angel? Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin. And I love the guy, but how could he expect to get the Shanshu after accepting Wolfram and Hart? Nothing good could come from that deal, except for my significantly-improved placement in Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. And front-row seats to Tom Jones, and all the dish on everyone I ever thought of stalking. And their home phone numbers.

Well now that I think about it, I guess maybe good is relative. Or maybe it’s nothing that’s relative. But the thing is, it was a selfish act on Angel’s part, taking over Wolfram and Hart. It was selfish of all of us. Hey, I accept that; I never claimed to be the Pylian Mother Theresa—although, little known fact? She was actually a Sygarn demon. And let me tell you something, those—okay, topic.

Anyway, was selfish of Angel to accept the firm, just like it was selfish of the rest of us. But I don’t think most of us were expecting a miracle, or even hoping for one. Yeah, the firm is fun. Yeah, unlimited power’s neat. But he knew what he was getting into—we all did.

Except maybe the kid upstairs. Now he’s in bed, or at least in his room, with a bunch of people who once saved lives and solved problems, and now just wheel and deal and look really scrumptious in Italian suits.

I like my life. I like what joining Wolfram and Hart has done to it. But I’m not sure it can end up anywhere good. For god’s sake, the offer came from Reptilica as a reward for stopping world peace.

And if I was the kid upstairs? I think I’d run.