Interview with Giovanni

Pablo Balthus interviews Giovanni (English translation by Charles Debussy)

• PB - Giovanni, do you think you are a genius?
• G - Well, of course I'm a fucking genius - a word attributed to so many undeserving people, I here and now claim it as my own. Also, I am, by virtue of the celestial circumstances of my birth, Inskora.
• PB - Do you regret the notorious Nibliski buggery incident?
• G - It was one of those nights, there was music in the air, there were sirens wailing in the distance, I wanted it to last forever - alas, I was wrong.
• PB - What is your favourite G & S song?
• G - I always liked 'Lacrosse Bitches' an early and somewhat callow happening, but I would have to say my all time favourite is the, as-yet, unreleased 'A Woman's Equilibrium'
• PB - Your audience often say how cruelly you treat Tattoo the dwarf.
• G - The audience. The audience. Fuck the audience. Tattoo knows his primary functions and if he steps out of line he must be punished, just as any normal sized freak would be.
• PB - What do you regret most?
• G - I always felt I should have been more assertive. I am essentially a very shy artiste and the amount of blood and tears that have been shed for me but reflect my plea for mercy and understanding.
• PB - Why do you seem to be have a penchant for public nudity and - if reports are to be believed - ejaculating into milk cartons?
• G - How dare you so accuse me of the truth! I have never, NEVER, encouraged any of the publicity that seems to attract itself to me - I am a shy man and my peccadilloes are but a tragic cry for help. I deserve the same sympathy that you liberals bestow upon other social pariahs, for example blacks and dwarfs. My uniqueness must not be ignored by the media. Fuck the media.
• PB - Where next for Giovanni & Sebastian?
• G - I plan to erect a 60 foot golden statue of me and place it in the village of Mbishkodra for the peasants to respect and learn from. They trundle around like idiots complaining they have no money and do nothing about it. Perhaps if they looked up to my golden tower they would see some sense.
• PB - We read somewhere that you are unable to make love to a woman.
• G - Not so much unable as unwilling. They are such beasts, and by virtue of their anatomy are almost impossible to keep clean. The risks are great.
• PB - Er, finally, have you a message for your fans?
• G - No. Fuck them.

CLICK HERE FOR INTERVIEW WITH SEBASTIAN