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CHARACTERISTICS OF SUCCESSFUL WRITING

FIVE STUDENT COMPOSITIONS EXEMPLIFYING THE PENNSYLVANIA ASSESSMENT GUIDE ARE LINKED ON THIS PAGE. ALSO, INCLUDED IS

THE FOCUS INSTRUCTION GUIDE EACH STUDENT RECEIVES PRIOR TO WRITING. PLEASE

NOTE THE USAGE OF VARIOUS SENTENCE TYPES. AT FIRST THIS MAY RESTRAIN THE STUDENT'S

CREATIVITY;HOWEVER, IN A FEW WEEKS TIME STUDENTS EXPAND THEIR CREATIVITY,LENGHTEN SENTENCE

STRUCTURES, AND CREATE SUPERB COMBINATIONS.

COMPOSITIONS ARE ORGANIZED BY FIVE EFFECTIVE CHARACTERISTICS. EACH COMPOSITION EMPHASIZES A CHARACTERISTIC IN THE

RED TEXT BLOCK. HOLISTIC SCORING IS USED IN MY

EVALUATION, HOWEVER (6-1). EACH STUDENT IS REQUIRED TO SKIP SPACES ON BOTH ROUGH AND

FINAL COPIES. I BELIEVE THIS IS AN ESSENTIAL IN ALL WRITTEN WORK.

CONTENT A PERSUASIVE PROMPT BY BRITTANY NALESNIK. NOTE FULLNESS OF IDEAS.

FOCUS A COMPOSITION BY TIM MCWILLIAMS

STYLE AN IMAGINATIVE COMP WRITTEN BY SAGE BOWSER. NOTE PRECISE WORDS AND STRONG VOICE..

ORGANIZATION AN IMAGINATIVE COMPOSITION BY KRISTIN HELSING. NOTE USAGE OF TRANSITIONAL WORDS.

CONVENTIONS A PERSUASIVE COMPOSITION BY JON DAIGLE STRESSING MECHANICS AND PUNCTUATIONS.

CONTENT

1.INFORMATION AND DETAILS SPECIFIC TO TOPIC

2. INFORMATION AND DETAILS RELEVANT TO FOCUS

3. IDEAS ARE FULLY DEVELOPED

    Deciding whether to have a job after school or not should be the decision of the teenager. If the parent does not agree with having his or her son or daughter have a job, the situation will only worse. A job may be either good or bad for a person. Thinking carefully, teenagers can decide if they truly want a job. Discussing the job over with their parents will help them to decide what kind of job is good for them. Choosing the best job, can have a great affect on someone’s future.

     To begin with, I feel that teenagers should have an after school job and people should have respect for kids that go out and obtain one. These teens have taken the time to acquire a job. A job will not only teach teenagers responsibility, but also a job will let them know how life is in the real world. A person could benefit greatly from having a job. They experience first hand that most things in life will not come to them, instead they must work in order to accomplish their gallant, genuine goals in life. Furthermore, a job can help a teenager to make new acquaintances. Making the right friends can greatly influence a child’s future.

    In addition, since teens have a job, they will be less likely to have time for other things such as dealing deadly drugs and interfering with the law. A job is what some teens may need to turn their troubled lives around. Being employed can help take the adolescents that live on the streets like rats, off the streets and help to put them in secure, warm homes. For teens that live in broken homes, a job can give them a second chance at a better life. This can also secure a better future for them. By having jobs, by keeping off the streets and by staying out of trouble, teenagers will not be as bad as they currently are. The kids will be doing something useful with their lives instead of wasting most of their time. I think that this will help to abate the crime.

     To say that teenagers only have positive affects when acquiring jobs would be untruthful. The teen may have less time for school. When students have less time for school, they also have less time to do their work so therefore, their grades will eventually drop. The student’s may ruin their future because they will have a bad record of grades therefore, the colleges will not choose them. Also, teens that have to work long hours will not have as much time to spend with their families.

     In conclusion, a teenager must think about choosing the right employment that will satisfy them. They have to take into consideration the positive and negative effects that each can have on him or her. Looking placidly at a job can be one way to make a decision. They must choose the decision that will best suit themselves.

FOCUS

         1. DISPLAYS AWARENESS OF AUDIENCE AND TASK

        2. ESTABLISHES AND MAINTAINS CLEAR PURPOSE

3. SUSTAINS SINGLE POINT OF VIEW

4. EXHIBITS CLARITY OF IDEAS

     Snowboarding, in my opinion is one of the most fun things to do in the winter. The white, wintry, wavelike snow slides by you like a knife through butter. Snowboarding is not only fun but also dangerous if you are not careful. Always make sure you use the proper equipment. Until you get to where you can go down a hill easily, you don’t want to try something harder; nevertheless, you should always keep trying.

    For the most part snowboarders don’t buy their own equipment until they have tried boarding for a while and made sure it is the sport for them. At first you should take a lesson at your local resort and try a couple days on their rented boards. Later on when you get into it, you can start to think about buying your own stuff. First of all, you will need to stay warm up on the hill; thus, you will need some good clothing if you don’t want to freeze. As with all types of clothing that keep you warm, brand names are the way to go as far as quality goes, but they will cost you a bundle. Expect to spend about $350 for a complete set of clothes.

    Equipment, which includes boots, boards, and bindings are the most important items you will need for a fun day on the slopes. A board that is set up for you, thus that you are comfortable with, is key when you are just starting. The staff at your local resort can help you with that. But if you have gone out a couple of times and are ready to buy your own gear you should be willing to shell out about $500-$600 for a nice set-up.

    Knowing your surroundings is a very important part of being safe while snowboarding. You need to know any trail markings that you might see and caution signs that may lead you away from danger. For your first day you definitely want to stay to the bunny hill (practice area) or green circles, the easiest slopes down the mountain. As you get better, you will want to try blue squares, which are a little harder. Then after about your tenth trip, you can start to try black diamonds, the hardest level, and the halfpipe and terrain park.

    Once you are skilled enough to go to the terrain park you can start to learning tricks. There are some basic grabs and airs where you jump up and grab your board in different places. Then, by the time you work up to inverted and 360-degree plus rotations, you’ll relish snowboarding as much as I do.

    Now that I have blasted you with so much argot about snowboarding I hope you will decide you go out and try it for yourself. I’m sure that you will have so much fun that you’ll never want to quit.

SENTENCE TYPES

1.Compound Complex with IC+/- : Until you get to where you can go down a hill easily, you don’t want to try something harder, nevertheless, you should always keep trying.

2.Compound complex using :LC, and IC- : First of all you will need to stay warm up on the hill; thus, you will need some good clothing if you don’t want to freeze.

3.Adjective Clause: . As with all types of clothing that keep you warm brand names are the way to go as far as quality goes but it will cost you a bundle.

4.Correlative conjunction: Snowboarding is not only fun but also dangerous if you are not careful.

5. ;LC, : A board that is set up for you; thus, that you are comfortable with is key when you are just starting.



STYLE

1.PRECISE LANGUAGE

2.EFFECTIVE WORD CHOICE

3. DOES THE COMPOSITION HAVE TONE AND VOICE?

4.VARIETY OF SENTENCE TYPES AND LENGTHS

   On November 18, 2796, the vibrations of the hypersonic digging machine unearthed the greatest archeological find of the millennium. A time capsule dating back to the late 20^th century had been discovered in Chippewa, Pennsylvania. Every digital newspaper, every holographic billboard, and every flat-screen television were filled with advertisements for long-awaited opening of the new museum exhibit, Y2K: Life in the Year 1999. Droves of people raced to the museum in their hovercrafts, driving much faster than the limit of 200 kilometers per hour. Most of them had never before thought about how their ancestors had lived almost eight hundred years ago, but all were fascinated.

      The eager crowd formed a line at dawn; thus, they were shivering before half an hour had passed. Several of them began to mutter darkly about the difficulty of finding tickets, paying for them, and convincing their bosses that they were actually sick. When the doors finally opened, pandemonium erupted. To prevent a riot, the guards coerced the turbulent, tearing, trampling crowd back to order by creating laser barriers around the queue. Now more subdued, the gathering made its way quietly inside.

     The strangeness of the sights that greeted the visitors stunned them to silence. One wall held bizarre clothes that were not only dyed bright, bizarre colors but also made of strangely woven fabrics. A young girl stood in open-mouthed amazement of the weird, mystical words like American Eagle, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Nike that adorned the garments on the mannequins. Her brother’s face was contorted in puzzlement as he wondered why the dark blue leg coverings spread away from the mannequin’s ankle instead of tapering around it. Their mother, hovering protectively behind them, winced involuntarily as she imagined the heeled shoes contorting her feet unnaturally.

    Similarly, the other walls displayed the literature, music, and technology of the past. Near one of them, the girl tilted her head this way and that, wondering why the magazine pictures were not moving or three dimensional while the boy struggled over the difficult, archaic language of the last millennium. The woman furrowed her brow in concentration, trying to make sense of an article about something called a telephone. To their right, a newlywed couple stood at another display. The wife recoiled from a the barrage of a frightening, rhythmic noise of a once-popular song. What interested her husband was the antiquity of the computers. He shook his head, imagining the difficulty of entering information with myriad, clumsy plastic buttons.

    Eventually, all the visitors had to go home. They shuffled slowly to the exits, reluctant to leave behind the fascinating yet terrifying world of the museum. As the sky grew slowly darker, the hovercrafts zoomed back over the tens, hundreds, and in some cases, thousands of kilometers to carry their passengers home. As the iridescent, electric blue coated surface of the road sped by beneath them, each thought about how much more pleasant life in the 28^th century was.

SENTENCE TYPES

Compound-Complex: The eager crowd formed a line at dawn; thus, they were shivering and their teeth were chattering before half an hour had passed.

Correlative Conjunction: One wall held bizarre clothes that were not only gaudy and insanely colorful but also very uncomfortable looking.

Parallel Writing: Several of them began to mutter darkly about the difficulty of finding tickets, paying for tickets, and convincing their bosses that the were actually sick.

Noun Clause: What interested her husband was the antiquity of the computers.

Identify a Gerund: Every digital newspaper, every holographic billboard, and every flat-screen television were filled with advertisements for the long-awaited opening of the new museum exhibit, Y2K: Life in the Year 1999.

Begin with an Infinitive: To prevent a riot, the guards coerced the turbulent, tearing, trampling crowd back to order by creating laser barriers around the queue.

Adjective Clause: The sights that greeted them were unlike any they had ever seen before.

ORGANIZATION

1. PARAGRAPHS SUSTAIN ONE IDEA

2. INTRODUCTION AND CONCLUSION EVIDENT

3. TRANSITIONAL WORDS BETWEEN PARAGRAPHS

4. TRANSITIONAL WORDS BETWEEN SENTENCES

To be a Grain of Sand

    All of us have a part to play in the game of life, and being a grain of sand, although may seem insignificant to some, is actually rather exceptional. I involve myself in a variety of activities, and each one happens to be unique. My mind marvels when I begin to imagine not only the rapture of experiencing each new day, but also the uncertainty of the day’s events.

Consequently, some of my days are spent basking in the horrendously hot sun; yet, on others I am whirled wondrously about in a gentle breeze. Still, on many occasions, I find myself oblivious of the time as I snooze contentedly in a nearby seashell. In addition, I also enjoy being meticulously molded into a magnificent citadel by an elementary architect, even though the fascinating structure can quickly vanish by the force from a great wave.

Generally speaking, I feel my life as a grain of sand is fairly simple, letting every day lead me to a destination unknown. One particular day, I was lying sedately on the beach, when all of a sudden my world blacked out. Before I knew what had happened, I was stuck to a human leg, and I was about to splash into a sparkling swimming pool. Of course, as soon as the leg made contact with the water, I became detached, and slowly descended to the drain at the bottom of the pool. When I next saw daylight, I was thoroughly perplexed. Eventually I realized that I had undergone quite an exciting escapade, but now I was back in my original home, just after being dumped out into a nearby reservoir.

CONVENTIONS

1. MANIFESTS STRONG CAPITALIZATION, SPELLING, PUNCTUATION

2. SENTENCE COMPLETENESS

3. NO RUN ONS OR FRAGMENTS

The automobile: possibly one of the biggest and greatest inventions of the 1900’s. Great

improvements and difficulties that have affected our lives have resulted from this machine, but I

believe that the modern car has had more good changes than bad ones.

Since the blatant Ford "Model T", cars and trucks have been making our lives much easier. A person could travel from the wet back roads of Maine, to the huge highways of San Francisco; thus, the automobile allows us to travel almost anywhere, as long as that person is in the USA. Whether it is traveling on vacations, going to work, or shopping at the local mall, our marvelous man-made machines will go that extra mile and work 110 percent when we want them to.

The automobile has also offered millions and millions of jobs to the people who are in need of work. Auto shops, auto suppliers, and companies that create new parts has given good-paying jobs to some hard-working Americans.

However, I am not the plaintiff, but not only has the automobile given us good things, but also has given us problems and difficulties. For example, exhaust from the exhaust pipes on cars is a major factor of potent pollution today. This also effects the ozone layer and the health of the aged and handicapped population. Pollution is a major problem that causes some deaths in large cities such as New York City or Chicago.

In addition, a large portion of deaths in the United States is because of automobile wrecks. Drinking and driving behind the wheel, road rage, drug dealers; thus, these are the examples of the things that cars give us that are not so pleasant.

In conclusion, automobiles open up many opportunities and disadvantages in the world today. Some for the better, and some for the worse. But even after all of the bad cars give us, I still believe that if we did not have them our lives would be a lot harder than they already are.

Sentence Types

Compound Complex Sentence using ;LC, with IC-

A person could travel from the wet back roads of Maine, to the huge high ways of San Francisco; thus, the automobile allows us to travel almost anywhere, as long as that person is in the USA.

Correlative Conjunction

However, not only has the automobile given us good things, but also has given us problems and difficulties.

Parallel Writing DO

Whether it is traveling on vacations, going to work, or shopping at the local mall, our marvelous man-made creations will go that extra mile and work 110 percent when we want them to.

Adjective Clause

The automobile has also offered millions and millions of jobs to the people who are in need of work.

IC-

Pollution is a major problem that causes some deaths in large cities such as New York City or Chicago.

6.) Gerund Usage S

Drinking and driving behind the wheel, road rage, drug dealers; thus, these are the examples of the things that cars give us that are not so pleasant.

HOMEPAGE