Spirit Guides
- There are many good books out there for meeting and working with your spirit guides, so I won't go into that here. What I will go into are my spirit guides, Marcus, and Magda.
- I'll start with Magda because I met her first.
- I was 14, and had just started Highschool. I also just started meditation. In fact, it was the first time I had meditated. That's when I met her.(If any of you remember the NBC TV/Movie Merlin, then you'll already have a good idea what Magda is like. Meb, in a lot of ways, is like Magda.)
- I'd say Magda is about 5'2" tall, with thigh length dark red hair. It's the red that defies discription...because it's almost black. She has grey eyes. She has an English accent, and low, sultry voice. She's a witch. She hates men.(Don't get me wrong here... she's not a lesbian... She just really hates men. I think it stems from the fact that the man she loved killed her. That could do it to ya.)
- But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Magda was the first person I met when I went into meditation. She was dressed all in black. I was terrified.
- She told me she was my guide to my 'quest within'. I told her I didn't know I was questing. She looked at me and asked, "Well, what the bloody hell did you think meditation was?" I didn't have an answer. She knew I wouldn't.
- The more I got to know about Magda... well... the more I got to know her. She is an old soul, and she says she knew Merlin. She doesn't like Merlin.... says he sold out the old ways when he had a chance to save it. She didn't like Arthur... she thought he was too blind. She flat out calls Guienivere a tramp, and says Lancelot wasn't the only knight that Guienivere had an affair with. Not a pretty picture when she paints it. She says that part of history has been glossed over with romantic hogwash until a person who lived through it would hardly recognize it.
- She isn't one to mince words. She's hardly polite. She says what's on her mind. She never answers your question straight out. She makes you work for it, by talking in riddles. Believe me, there was many a time I'd ask her a question, and she'd re-word it a bit, and ask it back to me. If you don't think that was frustrating. I'd tell her, "If I knew the answer, I wouldn't be asking you." And Madga would reply, "If I gave you the answer, you wouldn't be learning." How can you argue with that?
- Magda taught me alot about magick early on in my studies. Many times I would read something, only to hear her voice in my head saying, "That's a load of crock" or "Close enough". She always let me know what she thought. It really comes in handy to have a witch for a spirit guide. All I had to do was turn to her for advise. Now, whether or not she gave it to me, was another story.
- Magda did teach me alot of things, and some of my spells that I use came from her. However, one of the greatest lessons she taugh me was to look within. Look not within the stars, but within yourself, for therein lies your destiny. That was one thing she kept telling me, and I ended up using it as my senior quote. Now, that might sound strange coming from someone who studies their horoscope each day, but I found it to be true. Your future isn't set in stone, and so you can change it. Even if the stars tell you you're destined for greatness, you'll never get there if you sit on your butt all day. When I started looking within myself, that's when things really started happening.
- From my own study of Magda, I have learned several things. She has Thracian heritage, as well as Celtic. Perhaps it was back when the Celts invaded Thrace. Whether that English accent of hers is real or not, I may never know. She certainly won't tell me.
- I also learned a bit about her life, and her death. She died when she was pushed from the top of a castle by the man she loved. That's probably her reason for hating men.
- Well, as all good things much reach an end, my relationship with Magda soon had it's problems. One day, she decided that I was far enough along in my learning, that I didn't need her anymore. She took a vacation. I went to talk with her one day in meditation, and found a "Gone for a trip" note instead. Me, being the good little student I was, mentally screamed at her to come back and explain this. She did. (She knows I can be just as stubborn as she can.) She told me that I was at a point where I didn't need her. I told her she'd sipped one too many of her home made cocktails. Magda told me that this was the point in my studies where I needed to learn things on my own, instead of relying on her for the answers. I needed to learn how to do it for myself, instead of calling on her. She told me she'd be there if I got into something I couldn't get out of, but for the most part, this was where I was on my own.
- She really meant it to. One day I decided to go back and talk to her, and she politely put a very large dragon in my way. (That's how I met Draygen.)
- To this day, I'm still on my own, but Magda will stop by and talk to me every once in a while. (I think she gets lonely.)
We'll talk more about Magda later. Next comes Marcus. I met Marcus a few years back, when I picked up a book about communicating with Spirit Guides. I was actually hopeing I'd be able to talk to Magda better, but instead of her, I found Marcus. Marcus has helped me through many hard times, including the death of a close friend. In alot of ways, he's like Magda, in the fact that he won't give me the answer out right. He too prefers I go searching for it. He says it means more when I find it out for myself, than if he just hands it too me. I agree, even if I didn't always agree.
Marcus became a new found friend during the time when Magda had cut the cords, and left me on my own. I couldn't talk with Marcus about things like Magick, or spells, like I could with Magda, but Marcus was great for discussing the universe, our place in it, and life. Marcus is a philosopher. Infact, even if he won't admit it, I believe Marcus used to be Marcus Antonius. Many of the sayings Marcus has given me are almost identical to the sayings found within Marcus Antonius's Meditations book.
Marcus and I picked up talking about life and death, and humanity's views on it. He really helped open my eyes to a few things, and taught me a lot. Even if I couldn't talk spells with him, I could talk spirituality. I think he's probably a big reason I found the spirituality side of Wicca, instead of just the Magick side. Marcus always made me question why something was the way it was,...Why people thought the way they do,...Why was something accepted and something else not accepted,...Why was one group of people different from another...So many things he helped me see in new lights.
With Marcus, I had found a new friend who expanded my mindset.
Marcus really came to my aid when one of my best friends was killed in a car accident. I was very upset over the whole deal, and wasn't in a very favorable frame of mind with the forces that be. Marcus had me write down something that he said would one day bring me comfort, and would bring comfort to others as well. I wrote it down, even if I didn't understand it at that point in time, but I have come to understand it. It has brought me comfort, and maybe it will bring others comfort as well. It is a part of my soon to be "Grief Pages".
"Memories are just that. Memories. Playbacks of scenes that once were and are now no more. Unlike visions of the future, which have fantasy color and mist vision, visions of the past are like visions of the present, with one noticeable difference. They are colored by emotions. They are locked in with vivid reality, and yet, are tainted by your mind. If a candle burns, and is then snuffed out, often times the memory of the flame burns brighter than the flame itself. That is to say, in your mind, you see it blazing light that makes it seem to burn far brighter than it really did.
The safe thing about memories is that you have to remember them, meaning that time has moved away from that incident. If you find a memory unpleasant, then it offers the comfort that you too can move forward, and away from the incident. Incidents serve as learning tools, and some are painful, hurt-filled lessons no one should need to learn. But time offers you the comfort that one day, it will be a faded memory. It’s already a memory now. Soon it will fade. The colors will lose their glory, and the emotions lose their power.
‘Time marches on’ and ‘Time heals all wounds’ are two of the truest statements ever made. The gray mists of time will soften the harsh colors of emotion, and only a watercolor memory will remain.
And the nice thing about watercolor memories is, even the hard ones, the painful ones, are easier to look at."
Marcus seemed to be full of many wonderful quotes whenever I needed them. One of the ones he gave me was what made me wonder if he was infact Marcus Antonius. I had told Marcus one day I hoped to have thoughts as profound as his. He replied,
"All thoughts are profound, for when we stop to consider the human brain, the complexity of the way it works, the theory of the energy pulses that comprise thought, and the fact that we do not really understand the way the mind works... Then it is profound that we have a thought at all."
I bet he's just a riot at parites too.
Marcus taught me to look at life in a whole new way. I ended up reading Meditations by Marcus Antonius, and even if I had a hard time staying with it, many of the things said within it struck me. Even now as I sit here typing this, I'm struck by the irony containted in the fact it was meditations which started the whole thing for me... and Meditations which helped me understand it more.
Well, I never went looking for any more Spirit Guides. I figured I had two, and neither one was going to give me a simple answer, so my luck would be that any more I found would be the same as Marcus and Magda. I figured I should cut my losses whilst I still could.
I still talk with both of them, although not as often as I used to. I find that they have little patience for things of the 'net, and my time as of late has been wrapped up in it. However, if I need them, I know they will be there. I may feel like I'm being put through scenes from Labrynth but they'll be there to point me in the right direction.
One of them always tells the truth, and one of them always lies, one door leads to certain doom, and the other to the answers I seek. And I only get to ask one of them one question. Sheesh!
Of the fun of it all!
Blessed Be,
Phoenix