Oh dear.

It seems as though I offended someone’s Christmas cheer.

This letter to the Perspective staff (or rather, the letter to me) concerning the entertainment section got me to thinking. Not of remorse, but of people. Not even of the people who signed this letter (I am not acquainted with any of them), but just about people in general.

I got to thinking about the sort of people who, for no reason I can conceive of, might think that because I write horoscopes for a high school newspaper, that I truly possess any kind of astrological intuition. I do not. I get out a spiral notebook and I make them up. (Actually, I would not doubt that every horoscope in the free world is probably conjured up in the same way.) In fact, in the December edition of the Perspective, I sat down with an issue of The Onion and decided to model my horoscopes after the ones in there. (If I may say so, I felt the imitation was not too shabby.)

Then I got to thinking about people who believe that horoscopes are real or take their content seriously. This brings a quote to mind: “If people actually think this is funny and not offensive then they must be shallow and insecure about who they are.” Perhaps, though, it is the other way around. Maybe those folks who become upset over something as trivial as horoscopes are insecure in themselves. It is just a theory.

Is there anyone else out there, besides myself, who thinks that it is absolutely absurd how pretty much everything in the past six years or so has become so censored? The majority of the United States (our great nation, you know) places so much importance on being pure and politically correct. People are so easily offended (usually by something that does not matter) and the rest of the world has to walk on pins and needles around them.

Now I am concerned about those people who may not be familiar with the way a Top Ten list works. They work like this: they start with number ten, and go down to number one (ten being something not so great, one being the best). Simple as that. Perhaps, though, this did not come across. I do not think it did come across, as it is quite apparent that I was clearly misconceived by those individuals who decided that I find the holidays depressing.

Now what about all the people who do not know the meaning of the song Auld Lang Syne? I must argue that it definitely could not be a song about our country (that would be the United States, of course), because Auld Lang Syne is a Scottish song. And is it not ridiculous that most people only know the first two or three lines of the song? (Well, I think it might be something to write home about and have a little chuckle over. Unless it turns out that I am the one person in the world who does not know anything past the first two or three lines.)

In conclusion of this article, I think about the people who took part in this letter. I wonder if my reply has helped them to understand. But what if it has not? There is not much I can do. I just work here.